What I am Going Miss.....

I have been excited about the fact I am going home soon since January. According to my calendar it looks like the countdown started when I had 14 weeks left, and today I have less than 3. In a mere 20 days I will be boarding a plane and heading home with a bag full of memories and a head filled with mixed emotions.

I am returning to an awesome family and an incredible bunch of friends, but April is bittersweet for me because this chapter of The Adventures of Viro (Che Ji Yeon) and Jo (Jo Sun Jin) is coming to an end. Sure there will be plenty more chapters in the future, but for now there will be no more Shabu Shabu sessions, no chats until the early hours of the morning and no hobbling around the shops of Hongseong or Myeongdong. She will be heading back to South Africa 11 days before I leave, and I just want to say I am grateful for all the good times, and for all the support she has given me this year. It has been awesomeness squared.

In some ways I am going to miss Seoul Hagwon. Not necessarily the schedule changes though. One good outcome of my injured ankle was that it generated the invite to have lunch everyday in the kindergarten. It has served as a sharp reminder of me just eleven months ago fresh off the plane, dropping food all over the place, and unable to believe how cute the kids are. While the last one still applies I have just about recovered from the jetlag and for the most part I have mastered the metal chopsticks. I have learnt so much this year, and seen a good portion of Korea and much of that is thanks to Rachel and Paul. My 10 hours a day spent in the Seoul Hagwon have passed a lot quicker thanks to our lunch time chats, and I am sure there will be a kimchi related reunion when they go back to the UK in 2010.

Like I have said on numerous occasions, I am going to really miss my students, yes even the one who sat on my foot! My adult students have really grown on me (admittedly part of me resented having to give up my lovely lie-ins), and I will definitely miss the varied discussions that take place far too early for my frazzled brain. From car accidents, to alcohol blackouts, to test tube babies, they have definitely given me a small insight into Korean culture, and hopefully I have taught them a few things too. Last week they took me to Namunjae off the coast of my province and treated me to some very good food. As my next blog entry will show, they have also helped me out with my hospital appointments, and they ensure I get to the hagwon in the morning by picking me up on their way.

I am really going to miss Korean food. As well as the lunch in the kindergarten I also eat a Korean meal for dinner with the director of my hagwon, his nephew and the manager of the English academy. All of them wolf down their food before I get a chance to sit down, and the manager is under the impression that I just arrived in Korea, as he feels the need to describe the food to me before I eat it-and by describe I mean point to and say what it is, but specify that it’s Korean-“Korean fish,” “Korean soup,” “Korean mushroom” and so on. On the plus side many Koreans find the ability of “foreigners” to handle “spicy” food amazing, and are genuinely impressed if you like kimchi and can use chopsticks. I am going to miss the fact you can get restaurant food delivered for free to your door on actual plates which get collected an hour or so after-no need to wash, no need to tip. Most of all I am going to miss eating out and getting free food (thanks to Viro) or getting dessert as “service” (Canmore).

I am going to miss the train rides. I love train journeys, even the ones that lead to me getting insulted by sojued up old Korean mean. To be sure, there have been some delays (not that they show up on the boards), but the rail system here is cheap, easy and clean. If you don’t mind the stink of dried squid that is. My biggest complaint is that the last train back from Yongsan to Hongseong is at 8.20…which means a trip to Seoul tends to involve an overnight stay or an early return home. I am going to miss being on a train or subway and not understanding what it being said around me. It’s very easy to tune out the chatter around you when you don’t understand the language. Note-this doesn’t work when a 16-24 year old woman is whinging into her mobile. I am not going to miss the handheld TV’s that half the population of Korea seem to own and watch on the train, without earphones, at full volume. I am not going to miss being told to be quiet by a middle aged man because apparently “Korea is quiet,” while his wife smacks gum louder than the laws of physics allow and his kids watch the last episode of 꽃보다 남자 (Boys over Flowers). This may or may not have actually happened.

I am going to miss my crapartment, well the freedom that it represents, not so much the horrible smells that seep through the vents when anyone cooks in the building. Also, I am not going to miss the never-ending building work that has troubled my sleep since I arrived. Most importantly I am not going to miss the fear I feel when I approach my building thanks to the creep that harassed me back in January. But I am going to miss the fact it’s my own place, and I can do what I want when I want, including blaring my tunes at all hours of the day and night. I am going to miss the ondol (underfloor heating) which is a glorious idea and definitely made coming in from the snow welcoming. I am going to miss the fact everything is within hopping distance, though thanks to my ankle injury I have a new found appreciation for carpets in bathrooms, or at the very least railings.

I am going to miss Korean pop music and the fact the children remember the English lyrics better than they can remember the most simple of phrases. “I’m so sorry but I love you” (Big Bang). “Baby one more time” (Jewelry). “Nobody, nobody but you” “Tell me, tell me” (Wondergirls). “I gotta be a bad boy” (Rain). These are just some of the lyrics that plague every English classroom in Korea at some point. It can get old very quickly, but I am going through an “I’m going home soon so everything in Korea is great phrase.” I am not going to miss the Korean versions of English songs-the Korean version of Craig David’s Insomnia by Wheesung is not good.

I am going to miss checking out Korean guys…there I said it! But I am happy that I have some Rain to keep me happy in the UK.

I am kind of going to miss the obsession with mirrors. From what I have observed, if it doesn’t move it needs a mirror on it. Even mobile phones can serve as mirrors. In public bathrooms you can check yourself out as your use the toilet because more often than not there is a mirror on the stall door. I am fairly certain that the minute a girl reaches puberty in Korea a mirror is surgically attached to her hand. Based on my experiences in bathrooms at least one member of a group of secondary school age girls should have a pair of straighteners in her bag. Although, now I have a fringe of my very own, I can almost appreciate the disconcertingly high number of mirrors, almost….

As you can see I am going to miss so many aspects of my life in South Korea, but I can honestly say that one year is enough. There are so many other countries I have yet to experience, and I haven’t fallen in love with Korea, I have merely grown very fond of it. That’s not enough to sustain me for another year. I will take away some amazing memories but I ready to start my next chapter. I am ready to trade in the kimchi for some roast potatoes.

11 Months of...Culture Shock!

Even though it’s been nearly eleven months since I stepped off the plane at Incheon International Airport, South Korea still has ways of leaving me very bewildered. Strangely, the bigger things I have just come to accept, from last second schedule changes, to the lack of helpful health and safety signage. Those annoying “no-win, no fee” companies would have a field day in Korea. “This week I ended on my arse in the lobby of Seoul Hagwon after my crutches did the splits on the wet floor. There was no warning sign in sight. Save your Kimchi managed to get me 1000won (50p) in compensation. I bought gimbap.” No, it’s the smaller things that still puzzle me. From serving Tabasco sauce and pickles at every slightly “western style” restaurant, to suggesting I go to the hospital every time I have a cold. I asked one of my adult students about the latter and she explained that one time her mother “endured a cold and it turned into pneumonia.” By “endure” it’s possible she meant her mother never rested and continued to both work 12 hour days and be the sole carer for the family. She also said that the Korean health system is very cheap. I countered that it’s free in the UK and if you went to the doctors with a cold (Korea doesn’t have an equivalent to your local GP/doctor) you would be laughed out by the receptionist and possibly fined for wasting valuable daytime TV watching hours.

More importantly, what is the doctor going to give you for a cold that you can’t buy in a pharmacy? A stern and condescending look? A prescription of kimchi and soju three times daily? Or is Korea harbouring a secret cure for the common cold that it’s refusing to tell the rest of the world about? Judging by the amount of colds I have seen “endured” in this country it’s unlikely. Perhaps if the country wasn’t so anal about sick days and the fact they require a doctors note/all your limbs being severed/death, it would be less of a problem because you could take a couple of days to rest and recuperate. The same would be true if covering your mouth with your hand when you sneeze or cough became a common part of etiquette.

Last week was a first for my time here in Korea. I had a schedule change with an explanation. Thankfully because of my leg I was already sitting down. Ok, I said I had come to accept them, but I meant in a "admit they are going to happen kind of way!" Not that "I have to like them!" Apparently my lessons were too short and the parents had complained, strangely though it was just my lessons that were too short, so the change in schedule only saw my lessons being made longer. I noticed on Thursday that with the first class of the day the kids can’t get from their school/piano hagwon/maths academy in time so they are around 10-15 minutes late for their first class, which is with Yu (the manager). However, instead of moving the start time later, the time has just been added on to my class. I am sure that there is some very flawed logic there. Though why the parents just can't be told that the English monkey is unable to perform to the best of her ability at the moment, and quite frankly doesn't care that you want an extra ten minutes without your children, is beyond me. I am home in just over a month, so my reservoir of enthusiasm and energy has run dry. There's only so much a girl can do with her leg propped up on a chair, only able to use 10 percent of the board, and without books or resources before she gets very frustrated with it all!

My cast.

On Wednesday 4 March I went back to the hospital to get an update on my foot, this time I went with Christina. I was so certain that I would walk out the hospital that I had a shoe in my bag. Instead I was put in plaster cast, given back the crutches and sternly told not to walk on it at all. I am not entirely sure what the problem is, though from the talk of Park Ji Sung between my doctor and Christina I surmised that it's a common injury among football players. The fact that an operation was mentioned (really don't want it to come to that obviously) means that I am taking the "no walking on it" instructions very very seriously. I have to go back on the 24 March to get it checked up again, so fingers crossed that it's not as bad as my over active imagination is trying to tell me it is.

Life on crutches has shown me a whole new side to Korea. From almost being bowled over by an inconsiderate old lady in the hospital reception, to being stared at more than usual. If I thought that being a foreigner in Korea was an insight into being a celebrity, being a foreigner on crutches is like being the Brangelina of celebrities. But the most frustrating part of daily life has been the distinct lack of disabled access to most of the buildings in Hongseong. Lifts here have a handy function-if the kids decided to press all the buttons "as a joke" you can press them again to prevent the lift from stopping. This fact is only handy when you are in a building with lifts.

I haven't been given a repeat prescription for pain medication, which has been a nightmare at times. It's hard enough trying to get the kids to take you seriously when you are sat with your leg in the air encased in a bright green plaster cast, let alone when you are pale and unable to concentrate because of the pain. As we know my method for coping with pain is swearing, and I am fairly certain that the parents won't thank me if all I teach their kids in the next couple of weeks is expletives! But since Christina has apparently "retired" from teaching again, Charlie has been sacked with no warning and the new guy's vocabulary is limited to ancient song lyrics I haven't had much luck expressing how I feel about all this.

In many ways life continues as normal, my schedule has changed three times this week, Seok Jae still "doesn't like me" and Hannah is still crying because her younger sister knows more answers than her. I am glad that I did so much sightseeing before all this happened, and even if I limped home tomorrow I would limp back knowing I have seen a lot more than I ever expected I would. It's still hard not to be despondent at missing out on some of my plans. I am just glad that Viro filled my last weekend with Shabu Shabu, delicious pasta, and plenty of conversation, even on the “bastard stairs.”

I have 45 measly days until I am on the plane back to the United Kingdom, so since I now have a lot of free time on my hands I thought I would share some more about what I will miss from Korea….

…..my kids.....

They have all been so helpful about my leg (fetching me coffee, mocking me and stealing my crutches) so I let them run riot with a marker pen and some tipex and this was the result.

"You're genius" Eric (aka Aron, Angela’s slightly crazy brother) who am I to argue!

"Please Stay Korea" This from Yun Seob, the boy who started my classes hating everything “just” because.

"Teacher Jo is good for health" Steven-maybe he meant the health care system! Though he’s so keen he tries to sneak into extra classes. He also idolises King.

"T. Jo Babo" Sally, babo means stupid/foolish in Korean.....Hey my leg is plaster cast because I tripped over myself…so she might be on to something.

”T. Jo Fighting” Amelia (aka Lita), it’s used by Koreans as a term of encouragement rather than as a challenge!

"I love you" Numerous students (all together now awwwwwwww!!!!)

“T. Jo Bye Bye” Sonia, one of my favourite students, her family is moving to Seosan soon. She asked me yesterday if I would cry when I go home. I think that’s a given now, these kids have been so great.

“빨리나” Basically walk again quickly!

They definitely made the days go quicker, which is no mean feat since I am spending close to 11 hours at the hagwon everyday due to the lack of transport, and the fact I live in a building with no lift.

Crutches in Korea.

This weekend I was supposed to go to Gyeongju with Adventure Korea for one last trip with the tour company. However, yesterday I fell over and damaged a ligament near my ankle. I am currently on crutches. Considering how clumsy I am it was bound to happen eventually. The bonus of it happening here is that I get an amusing story to go with it, and I got to see that the kids are as attached to me as I am to them.

I met up with Viro after my adult class in the morning and we went to our new favourite café-Canmore-home to freebies galore and some interesting décor. As we were leaving I was joking around on the stairs (penguin dance), when we got to the bottom I stepped awkwardly and went over on my ankle. I sat there panting on the floor for a while as Viro looked on helplessly-partly due to me screaming “Don’t touch me!” before continuing to pant. An impatient Korean woman walked past and gave us such a dirty look, despite the fact it was obvious that I was in pain. Viro took me to the nearest doctor who happened to be a paediatrician. She got to experience sweary in-pain Jo. The doctor told me I should get to a hospital, have an x-ray-and probably see a doctor for grown-ups. I didn't have my insurance card on me and I was pretty certain that I had just sprained it so I got a taxi home and packed a bag for the trip. But when I saw my ankle, it was very, very swollen, and tried to walk to my hagwon, I realised that it wasn't alright.

I asked Charlie (the Korean English teacher) if he could take me to the hospital, and we took a taxi there. Bizarrely in a country where the taxis beep you every five seconds it was weird how they all seemed to vanish when we needed one. The receptionists panicked when they saw me, but thankfully poor Charlie could translate. The doctors x-rayed it and found out my ligament is damaged. I am not entirely sure how, but looking at the x-ray my bone is being pushed out of place by the swelling. So now it's in a splint, bandaged up and I am on crutches. The hospital seems to still be under construction because I was placed in a room full of odds and sods, and everyone who walked past came to nose at the crazy foreigner, and her hilarious attempts to use crutches. A shot in the arse later, and I am on my slow way. We grabbed a taxi back to the hagwon, eventually-the sight of Charlie in the middle of an intersection sighing and yelling “taxi” and “진짜!” will hopefully never leave my memory bank!

We got back to the hagwon and I had to teach all day as well as cover Christina’s lessons for the second day in a row. This is despite the fact I was clearly a bit woozy from the pain medication, oh and unable to stand up! I didn’t mind the teaching so much as the fact I had another day of combined level classes, which I had to control from a chair. Christina took my prescription sheet and said that she would be back before I finished, of course she wasn't and so I have no medication even now! She rung me today to say she couldn't move (she couldn't move?!) and she will hopefully be round before midnight with my medication.

I am gutted that I couldn't go on the trip, as I won’t get another chance to go to Gyeongju and I have already written off plans to go to Jeju Island. Thankfully Killian has gone in my place and he will give me the money which is very handy as medical care isn’t free in Korea.

The kids were so concerned when they first saw me on crutches, even the older kids, it was so cute! Andy looked like he was about to cry and when I asked what was wrong he just pointed at my leg. I had to improvise, more than normal, as I was sat down the whole day. Normally I am so active in my classes, so it was a real challenge. Still I got a few giggles with “What’s in Teacher Jo’s bag?” “Oh a shoe!” In one class we needed to erase little white boards and I hadn't been able to buy tissue, so I just cut up the sock I had no use for! But my favourite moment was when the more advanced students tried to figure out the English name for “crutches” we had everything from fake legs to imitation legs (these kids know their words!) thrown about.

I have to go back to the hospital on Wednesday and hopefully by then the swelling will have gone done and I will be crutch free for the rest of my time here.

You Guessed It-Schedule Woes.

Well Christina has excelled herself this time, no doubt about that. My next entry was going to be about the fabulous time I had with Viro in Thailand, but I need to get this out my system first so bear with me. I looked back through my blog the other day and I know most of my time here has been blighted by schedule changes. But honestly I am surprised Christina bothers to put anything to paper, since before the ink has dried it is being changed to suit her. At least that’s the conclusion I am drawing, having not been told anything to the contrary.

Aside from the split in my day between the adult class and the children classes I was enjoying the lessons and I like most of my students. In all truthfulness I think this is the best bunch of kids I have taught so far, and aside from the fact I have to drag myself out of bed to teach them in the morning I like the adult students too. Only one class is a chore, and that’s because the girls in it are so quiet you can hear a pin drop from Japan. But, as has been the case here too many times, just when I get into a routine the carpet is pulled out from under me and I am left lying on a bed of useless lessons plans and straddling a gap wider than the space between Christina’s ears.

Although I know hagwon schedules are dependent on demand, pushy mothers and the Korean public school calendar, I don’t know anyone who has had to undergo the same number of adjustments and last minutes frustrations as I have faced here. I think that it would be a lot easier to deal with if I was given some kind of explanation now and again, never mind a warning. Even with a schedule Christina teaches her classes to her own time zone, which essentially involves running over my into my class time and expecting me to combine two different levels and age groups into one class. I gave up politely reminding her what the time was and used the time “researching” on the BBC website and messaging on facebook. Despite the fact she is the manager she literally comes in to teach her classes and then disappears faster than you can say-“Would it be possible to have a staff meeting so we can discuss the students and the schedule?”

Although it’s been chopped and changed today’s schedule is pretty indicative of what occurred in January. (This is largely just for my own memories so feel free to skip it!)

10-11 Adult Class. This early morning (for me) class consists of three ladies in their early to late thirties, plus one intermittent guest who shows up when the others blackmail her. They all have a fantastic grasp of the English language although one only talks using idioms and random phrases. This is where my poor teaching skills are apparent. For the most part I understand what they are saying and trying to convey which make it’s difficult for me to correct them. But through this class I am given a small insight into some Korean customs, including those surrounding Lunar New Year. Worryingly one of students is absent at least once a week because she gets so drunk the previous night “she has a blackout” and can’t remember what she had did. After this class I head back home until around 1.40 when I head back into the hagwon for the classes with the children.


2.20-3.10 Beginners. See the picture above. Five of the cutest kids in Hongseong (sure I am biased. I still haven’t met Henry!). Jenny (the blur-she is camera shy), Jullea (“Hello, Miss Jo”), Cindy, and the twins Alice and Diane. I am supposed to spend 50 minutes teaching them what’s on a random collection of flashcards-which would be as much fun as pulling teeth with a blunt tooth pick. Instead I am teaching them how to ask and answer simple questions. Can you….? Are you…..? Do you……? And so on. Despite the fact she knows all the answers left, right and centre Jenny is very patient and understands that she should let the others answer too-she’s the youngest in the class and she’s my little star.

3.10-4.00. Basic Speaking. Ann, Lita (yes really and no explanations that her name sounds like a measurement of liquid will persuade her otherwise) and Sarah (the opposite of Jenny and as such my least favourite child). This is the most frustrating class, mainly because Lita makes everything an uphill struggle. She is one of the family of five siblings, the rest of which are a joy to teach…but hopefully she will grow out of it.



4.00-4.50. Intermediate One. Andy, Jinny and Sally. See above. I have not been consulted about any of my students and their abilities, if I had been I would have suggested Andy is too weak for this class. A factor not helped by the fact Jinny (or Rachel as she was called at New Briton) can be a little bully. Looking at my new schedule it looks like this has been taken into consideration which should mean less tears of frustration from the poor chap. Sally is the reason I love teaching because she has such a thirst for English and a real desire to learn.

4.50-5.40. Intermediate Two. Yun Seob, Sonia, and May. Yun Seob is the first student I have had who doesn’t want an English name, which is perfectly fair enough. A bigger concern came when it appeared that he didn’t like anything….at all.
Me: Yun Seob, do you like music?
YS: No.
Me: Really? Why?
YS: Just.
But after a couple of weeks he warmed to me and I can even coax coherent sentences out of him. Sonia and May work well together, (see below) and make every lesson a good laugh. This is the one class where there is not even the pretence of a book yet with these kids 50 minutes flies by.


7.10-7.40. Intermediate Three. Branden, Tom, Jun and Angela. It annoys me that the time with my best class is so short-sometimes Christina overruns so much I only get 10 minutes with them-other times I have to combine their class with the Middle School one. They have the best English ability, and since Angela was put in this class-after 2 quiet weeks in the Middle School one- everyday has been an eye-opener. I am just working on their sentence formation at the moment, but they are a very bright bunch-although Branden is imitating my sarcasm-which can only be a bad thing!

7.40-8.30. Middle School-Park Gun, Seok Jae, Jae. My main job with these boys is getting them to talk-they all know lots of English words, but when it comes to expressing themselves they are a lot weaker. They also think they can cheat when we play “Hot Seat” by talking in Korean. Awww bless.

But as of tomorrow this all change, and the only reason I know this is because I happened to spot an altered timetable over Charlie’s shoulder. During my break between lessons I sit in the main room planning the lessons for the next day. This is made apparent by the books around me (it’s not like I am trying to learn English from them) and the fact that when the kids crowd around me and ask me what I am doing I respond “Jo Teacher is planning lessons for tomorrow.” It would have taken less than ten seconds for Christina to say “tomorrow, new schedule” but that would have been too easy. It appears that I will no longer be teaching either the beginner class or the middle school one. But crucially my first class (after the adult one) won’t start until 4.50-so if I hadn’t noticed the new schedule I would have gone in at 1.40 for no good reason. I think the reason Christina didn’t tell me anything is because I will be finishing at 9.20-which is something I have been fighting since the first draft of the schedule 2000 drafts ago.

The truth of the matter is 3 months ago I would have been more pissed off than a kimchi farmer after a bad harvest but now I am just blah. Aside from the impending knackeredness my biggest gripe about finishing so late is it means I won’t see anyone on a school night. I don’t get the pleasure of a lie in and I give it two days before the schedule is changed again due to the warm, wet, westerly winds. Writing this blog entry I realise I will be very sad to say goodbye to all the kids, and of course I am glad I will have the kids to say goodbye to. But looking at my calendar I am just relieved that there are only 12 more weeks until I am one that plane home.

January in a Nutsell.

On Thursday 8th January I was harassed by a drunken creep in my apartment building, which not only put an end to my belief that Korea is a relatively safe place but also reinforced the fact I am simply an English monkey for my hagwon. Christina demonstrated this with her “don’t go outside” reaction and the way in which she has shown no genuine concern for my welfare. I am just glad that I have some good friends both here and at home who helped me through it. Thank you.

Not surprisingly then, 2009 has got off to a very mixed start. I arrived back from Japan on New Years Eve and had a fabulous evening with Viro and Killian in Hongdae. Mexican food in Itaewon, plenty of bottled water and dancing in my trainers to Nobody by the Wondergirls with my favourite South African chica made for good start to the New Year.

After two months of only working 2 hours a day I was actually looking forward to getting a new schedule. It’s just a shame the new schedule has to be changed every five minutes. The new academy is managed by Christina (see previous entries for some of the troubles she has fuelled), and is an all English academy-as in the only subject taught there is English. On the 2nd January there was a meeting to discuss the schedule and plan for the academy. Despite the fact all the teachers, and the manager, speak remarkably good English the entire two hour meeting was in Korean and in order to get any answers I had to quiz Christina repeatedly. When the academy opened the next week one of the teachers had already quit and there has been no search for a replacement for her. Instead the workload has been split between me and Charlie, with Christina popping in to teach the occasional class and to change the schedule to ensure that she can work in the pharmacy unhindered.

It’s a complete joke-on the enrolment day I just sat around greeting children and their parents, who kept asking me questions in Korean…which I couldn’t answer. The manager, yep that’s you Christina, was no where to be found and poor Charlie was expected to deal with everything. From teaching 2 hours a day I am now teaching 7 hours a day, despite being contracted to only work 6-apparently I will get paid extra for the adult class that was sprung on me after (seriously) the last minute. But in order to ensure I don’t suffer from complete exhaustion I am having to fight Christina every step of the way. Those of you with so-called “proper jobs” will be thinking seven hours Jo, don’t strain yourself! But the hours are split throughout the day, and the seven hours does not include preparation and planning time. The adult class is from 10-11 in the morning and I teach the kids from 2.20-8.30pm. In order to make her life easier Christina keeps trying to move my finish time later and later, so I have to keep putting my foot down and explaining that it’s too much work. Those are the time Christina conveniently forgets that she can speak English.

In addition, I am the “conversation” teacher-and resource wise I have just slightly less than bugger all (particularly as the folder of flashcards and worksheets that I spent hours making has mysteriously disappeared) ...The series of books that we do use is the one I had problems with when I was just teaching Angela, Sonia and Branden-the ones that had been mangled though an antiquated translation device. For two of my classes I have “Power Speaking” books which are actually quite useful. But for the others I was initially given reading comprehension books-to teach speaking skills! I have found and adapted a number of educational activities/games…which are much more productive. One in particular cheered me up after the creep in the apartment block incident, and actually stopped me running away to the airport to get the first plane back to England.

The name of the game is Animal Fight Club, and there are only two rules (ok so none of the kids have heard of, let alone seen the movie, but it’s fun for me). Number one, who will win? Number two, why? All the resources you need-flashcards with animals on them and some kids with lots of imagination. Pick two flashcards to get you going and then one of the kids has to decide who will win and why. Depending on the level of the kids you can decide whether their answer is acceptable in terms of grammar, inventiveness, or just based on whether it’s funny or not. Some classics-Monkey vs. Turtle….Andy-the monkey will win because it will shake the turtle out of the shell and then kick it. Hippo vs. Dog….Angela-the dog will win because it will bring a knife to the fight. I love these kids, despite their violent imaginations!

Aside from the fact I get to teach again, I am also getting school dinners-something I had mentioned that I was missing. Apparently though I have to start paying for them, which is strange as it was never an issue when I worked on the third floor, and I know that Paul and Rachel have never had to pay for theirs. But it was a lovely surprise when I discovered that there were some more familiar faces among my students-Jenny and Ann-the grand-daughters of the fabulous cook in my hagwon. Jenny as in my favourite grade one Jenny, and Ann her frequent crier sister-who has thankfully calmed down on the tear front and is actually very bright one-on-one (picture above). It’s a family affair among the students as a family of five siblings (four excellent, bright girls and one funny boy) are spread through five of the classes. Their aunt is………wait for it……Christina. In my youngest class there a cute set of twins (top picture), and their older brother is in one of the more advanced classes that I teach. I am just glad that I will have a good set of kids to say goodbye too when I go home. They have even given me a Korean name-Jo Su Jin (조수진)-which definitely goes with my new haircut!

The other annoyance of January was the cancellation of my internet which occurred “by mistake.” I am still having trouble understanding how you can accidentally ring up an internet company and cancel someone’s connection, but on the plus side I now have both the internet and TV (it’s only been broken since August). Given the month I was having I was starting to think it was a conspiracy to get me to quit, so imagine my surprise when Christina asked if I would fancy staying in Korea. Once I had fully suppressed the urge to laugh I politely declined. Aside from the simple fact I miss people, I think that 12 months will be more than enough. I have loved this whole experience and in some ways hated it, but I am so glad that I have done it.

Next time on the Travels of Jo: ladyboys, massages, Tuk-Tuks, Khaosan Road, lots of shopping…that’s right kids Thailand the Rerun: This Time it’s With Viro!

Seven Months Down, Five To Go

I realised today that my schedule hasn’t changed this month, and while that’s one of the things I wanted to happen while I was here, I did mean a schedule with a couple more classes and students. I have also discovered that I am far more productive when I have less down time. Essentially, aside from all the wonderful adventures I have had on the weekends and the fun stuff I get up to some evenings I have done bugger all with my weekdays.

I have spent a lot of the time “thinking” about what my next move should be, and the problem with having too much time is that it’s easy to get distracted. Like I predicted, Jo plus boredom plus shops equals a significantly dented bank balance, but also another stamp in the passport, so not all bad.

I am considering doing a PGCE when I get back home, but once I start researching my options I end finding other things that look appealing, like my bed. If I was a computer, my setting would be hibernation. But I am very aware that time is moving at a ridiculous speed, so I should get serious. Even though I have been doing the equivalent of one workday over an entire week November has sped by faster than an ajumma at a rice cake sale.

As my Mum would say, I am so laid back I am horizontal. It no longer annoys me that I have to find out information about my job through my students. I do miss my younger students though, so I have taken to annoying my former colleagues by popping down to the third floor and distracting grades 3 through to 5.

So I will spend a little bit longer wondering if I should become a history teacher, then I will decide that I should and then I will probably change my mind again. We’ll see. I will throw my blog open to you the readers though, if you have any questions for me ask away-it will give me something to do!

What bloody schedule?!

When Christina dropped the encrypted bombshell a couple of weeks ago that as of November I would no longer be teaching Elementary I made a bit of a joke out it.
Step One: No classes.
Step Two: No apartment.
Step Three: A field trip to the airport with all my belongings and my passport, “we are off to see the planes.”
On Monday I was ready to skip straight from Step One to Step Three. Warning, in this entry I will ramble, and I will rant...and I will not apologise for that.

To be sure, as I have mentioned on this blog, my Elementary schedule wasn’t overly fabulous to begin with. But I was starting to make progress, even the boys in Grade Five were better behaved, and the kids in Grade Three were finally warming to me. Over half my battle had been due to the fact my schedule kept changing, and so I couldn’t get into a proper routine with the kids. Oh, and not to mention that the department hadn’t been told the students that Fely was gone. I was always suspicious of that, so imagine my “surprise” when I arrive to work on Monday to see that she’s back and taking over my classes.

Trying to get a straight answer in this Hagwon is a lot like trying to fasten your shoelaces with your hands tied behind your back. So Fely telling me she was back because the kids kept asking for her didn’t exactly calm my fears and paranoia that I was going to be fired for my teaching not being good enough or something equally bogus. “Hey Timmy, you know how much you miss Hammy the Hamster? Well, we’ve raised him from the dead just to shut you up!”

I was told to call Christina, who did nothing to soothe my fears, she just told me she would talk to me “later.” It turns out that my director is opening a new English and Maths academy on the fifth floor of the building. Over the last couple of days I have been given slightly more information. Apparently the manager of the Elementary department “has no need for a foreign teacher.” Read: she has no need for a foreign teacher who can’t speak Korean. Though unless she had a problem with the job I was doing, I don’t really see how this is an issue. I was hired as an English teacher, not to be her new best friend. Last week Grade Three made me laugh when they showed such shock and pity that I couldn’t speak Korean, bless.

I am so fed up with the whole situation right now. Yet, I know I should be enjoying this time while it lasts. I am still teaching my three one-on-ones, a task which amounts to two hours of work a day. At the moment I don’t have to work Fridays. Christina has no idea when the new academy will be open, or when I can expect a new timetable, and I will still be paid the same wage. Obviously I am not arguing with this logic, but I didn’t come to Korea to sit around in my apartment wasting the days away or blowing all my hard earned cash on crap I don’t even want.

The burning question I have had over the last couple of days is “Why the *beep* was I hired if there isn’t a job for me to do?” Seriously, is that good business practice? My schedule and workload has been so haphazard and inconsistent during my time here, that I wouldn’t be surprised if I was asked to work on reception for a couple of weeks. “여보세요, 서울 학원. 네, 네, 네.” Job done.

More than anything, I would have preferred to have seen out my teachings with the Elementary kids and then gone home to the United Kingdom thinking that I made a slight difference to some of the students. Now I won’t be able to have that because I will have to start again with a new bunch of students. Who knows how long it will be before that changes, and I have to move to the second floor of the building (which is empty) to teach parrots how to say “Welcome to Seoul Hagwon. Fred the Fly…..” oh wait….

I guess all I can do now is wait and see what this new schedule brings, and hope I don’t end up broke by the end of the week. It looks like I will have to spend more time with Christina. While it will be a nice change from the stony silence of the “Third Floor,” and I am glad she can communicate in English, I have a feeling it’s going to be a rocky relationship.

I don’t think I can be arsed with anymore of all this change though, my patience has worn so thin it would win America’s Next Top Model merely on the merits of its cheek bones. Meh……

I Can't Get No Satisfaction.......

My hagwon keeps making it more and more difficult to fully enjoy my time in South Korea. Last week was probably the most challenging and stressful week that I have experienced here. It was buffered by two very enjoyable and memorable weekends (one in Cheonan and Haemi, and the other in Seoul), and I got to speak to Helen on Thursday as well have a conference call with my Mum and Claire last night. Nevertheless, last Friday I was sick to the back teeth of the constant crap I have to put up with at the hagwon and the lack of support I get from the “department.” Today there are rumours that come next month I will no longer be teaching Elementary at all, though who or what I will be teaching instead is a mystery. I guess I won’t find out until two seconds before it happens, so there’s not a lot of point in worrying about it.

I try to see the positive in most things and regardless of how frustrating the circumstances are I do try to tackle the problems I face head on. Yet for some reason I am finding it increasingly hard to do at the moment. Maybe it’s half way blues, maybe I just can’t be arsed anymore, or maybe I have been messed around too many times. Suffice to say something has to give. I don’t want to just live for the weekends, even though I will take away a lifetime of memories from the ones I have had so far. I want to be a good teacher, but as I receive no guidance, curriculum or consistent schedule I have to resort to trial and error and hope that the students are learning despite my stumbling efforts.

For some reason the kids haven’t been told that Fely has left the hagwon. Every day last week and today I have faced a barrage of “Where is Fely teacher?” from Grade 3 and 4 who for the most part don’t appreciate Jo Teacher’s style. Actually Grade 4 have been fine, it’s Grade 3 who conducted a survey in Korean to demonstrate how much they prefer Fely Teacher. Elementary Manager ignores the kids when they ask her, which (excuse the paranoia) seems a bit suspect-I mean why not just tell the kids? Being told today in secret that I will no longer be teaching Elementary next month has further fuelled my paranoia. I just don’t understand why the hagwon point blank refuses to tell me what’s happening, it’s so infuriating.

To be sure, with the constant changes I will never get bored at the hagwon, but I am starting to run out of patience and I am questioning how valuable this current experience is. I am sure that this feeling will pass and I might (sharp intake of breath) get to experience a whole month of stability-with no changes to my schedule, and no more building work, but at the moment there is more tunnel than light, and I am just counting down the days until the weekend.

Schedule Change Part 102

To be sure, if I had updated my blog every time my schedule changed I would put facebook status update addicts to shame. (XXXXX has just blown her nose. XXXXX only has 6 hours until home time. XXXXX has just updated his status. And so on.) In years to come the pronoun “I” will be obsolete and people will refer to themselves in the third person….all the time. “Jo is talking rubbish again” or “Jo watched the latest episode of Heroes and thought that as a scientist Suresh probably wouldn’t have used himself as the first human test subject.”

The latest schedule change is one I hoped would never happen, and knowing my luck it will be the one that lasts the longest. As a bit of a back story Fely left the hagwon last week. This not only means I am going to be that little bit more isolated from my Korean co-workers, but also that I am the only one teaching Grades One through to Five. Apparently, there are not enough students to maintain a full schedule for both me and Fely, and since my contract means I have to work 6 hours a day unfortunately Fely had to go. On a more positive note, San (the painfully quiet Korean English teacher) said more to me yesterday than in the last two months since he arrived. But, to be honest, nothing will compensate for losing Fely as well as for the monstrosity Grade 5 is going to become if the train wreck that occurred yesterday is anything to go by.

My new schedule is as follows:

Grade One/Two 3:00-3:45 Monday to Friday.
As I mentioned before, a hagwon is primarily a run for profit organisation rather than an educational institution. Thus it seems that Henry has been kicked out for not being smart enough and I have been given a combined class of grade one (Jenny and Joyce) and grade two (Harry and Tracy). They are being taught from different books so I am trying to get the grade two kids up to the same level as my two favourite girls. Despite the fact Tracy feels the need to call me fat every time she sees me (I should mention she’s a chubby little child herself, who feels the need to try and bite my hand when I try and give her a high five) the class is still one of my favourites. Harry tried to be the class clown by swinging on his chair, calling me Pig Teacher (seriously!) and swearing at rest of the kids but I kicked him out of the class once and he’s been fine ever since.

Grade Five 5:50-6.35 Monday, 3:50-4.35 Tuesday to Friday.
Wow, what a nightmare! Previously grade five was split into two sets, I loved teaching the top set, and I tolerated teaching the bottom set because I only had to do it twice a week. Now I am the only English teacher they have been combined into a class of eleven boys and one girl, and to be honest it’s going to either make me a stronger person or lead to me having a nervous breakdown and locking myself in the cupboard! Yesterday my top set was pretty well behaved, but Gangster Ghaphield (Ghaphield 2) egged on by Cliff was a royal pain in the arse. I have a rule, when you want to answer a question just put your hand up and I will pick you. None of that whiny “pick me, teacher” crap. Normally, the kids cotton on to the rule pretty quickly, though Jason in grade 4 still spends most lessons shouting “teacherrrrrrr WHY?” Bless. Ghaphield 2 was shouting at me in Korean, banging his book on his desk and generally causing a racket. I was pointedly ignoring him, and after about 10 minutes he was tiring himself out and starting to settle down. At that point the Elementary Manager burst in and started screaming at the kids-even I started looking sheepish. While I was grateful for the back up, her screaming gave Ghaphield 2 time to recharge his batteries and continue being the devil child. I was heartened by the fact Brady and Christian (previously troublemakers) had never worked so hard in their lives. But, the treatment the only girl (Ivy) receives is horrid and aside from kicking all the boys out (which I have been contemplating) it’s an uphill struggle.

Grade Three 4:35-5:20 Tuesday to Friday.
Grades Three and Four are currently being taught out of the same book, Fun Fun English Phonics, which was planned and written by someone who has not only never studied or taught English, but also by someone who has a very warped idea of how children learn. The premise of the book is a story about Fred the Fly and the adventures he gets up to. So for instance
In the Sand.
Fred the Fly plays in the sand with six seals.
But he is going under the sand.
“Where is the sun?” Fred says.

This is teach the kids the sound for the letter s. But most of the kids just memorise the 4 lines, and think “job done” next. Instead of teaching the kids phonics in conjunction with useful phrases, questions and words, I have three books of Fred the Fly nonsensical crap to get through. Joy.

The children in Grade Three are the epitome of Korean school children competitiveness to the point where I refuse to play games with them. The venom in their eyes if things don’t go their way is scary, and the amount of tears is ridiculous-that’s just the boys.

Grade Four. 4:35-5:20 Monday, 5:50-6.35 Tuesday to Friday.
There are some real gems in Grade Four, but the best student (Pink) and her best mate Sally both left last month-which means following the return of Joo-Joo there are now three girls and nine boys. With the introduction of scary Jo Teacher most of the kids are great-though only five of the kids do well when we have a test, so that’s something that I need to work on. It’s tough having such a mixture of levels in one class, but for the most part it is fine. Plus getting the kids to self police works surprisingly well.

After these classes I have my three one-on-ones with the Grade Six students.

Angela 6:40-7:20
Angela is the strongest of the three, and I can get the most conversation out of her. The books I teach the three one-on-ones from are probably even more rubbish than Fun Fun English. They look like someone took a bunch of Korean articles, put them through a translator word for word and made it into an “article” before writing some inane questions about said article. I tend to focus on getting the kids talking rather than reading, and get their views on what’s going on in the world around them-which is generally lots of tests.

Sonia 7:20-7:50.
Originally Sonia was one of the weakest students in the class, but one on one she has been flourishing. I think it’s just because she has grown in confidence around me rather than anything I have specifically done. Plus the way she sees it, is that if she just talks to me and asks me questions for 30 minutes she doesn’t have to do any actual work….little does she know that she is!

Brandon 8:00-8:30.
Brandon bless him just sticks to the book, and it’s hard to get much more out of him than one word answers-“fine” but I think he’s just at that age! He gets the most animated when he has to tell me he can’t come to my lesson because he has a test. It’s nice to feel wanted!

Still next week will probably bring something entirely new to contend with, so we will see.

It's That Friday Feeling.

Ok, so the last couple of weeks were a bit on the crap side. What with the perpetual state of tiredness as a result of the building work, the constant changes to my schedule, and some serious doubt on my part as to my teaching ability it’s probably safe to say Jo Teacher was not happy. This last week has changed all that around. On Friday last week I managed to get covered in bubble gum-ruining a perfectly good pair of work trousers and leaving me with very sticky shoes! The students found it hilarious, and their laughter was infectious. On the train to Seoul on Saturday I started speaking to someone who had previously taught in Hongseong-I explained apart from my apartment and the constant schedule crap I was having a great time in Korea, and I meant it. Perhaps one thing this experience has revealed about me is that I have a lot of patience-or maybe that I should get covered in bubble gum more often.

I haven’t had any formal teacher training. I have a TEFL certificate through i-2-i, which has been about as helpful as taking teaching tips from back of cereal boxes “Snap Crackle Pop.” As I have mentioned before the “Fun Fun English” books I teach from leave a lot to be desired and to say I am given free reign to teach what I want is an understatement. I could be teaching the kids German for all my hagwon knows. There is no curriculum, no lesson plans, no materials outside of the jumbled up flashcards and the text books, and no real understanding of how to teach the kids best. As long as I don’t finish the book too quickly it’s fine. The only feedback I have had was from the Elementary manager telling me to include more songs in my classes, which I kind of ignored. Some of my classes go well and the kids are coming along nicely, and others are like pulling out my own eyes with a blunt pencil. I am teaching myself how to teach, and hopefully I am not doing a completely terrible job. I guess it’s all part of the adventure. Here are a couple of funnies from this week.     

Yesterday, my Grade Four class aptly demonstrated the effects of the Nintendo DS on South Korea’s youth when I was greeted with a chorus of “Jo Teacher, Jo Teeeeacccchhhherrrrr.” It must show something about my classes if the kids can’t remember phonics but they can quote from their Nintendo DS. On Tuesday I had kicked eight of the students out of the class for not doing their homework, which left me briefly with the best three. So on Thursday I was delighted and amazed by the students and their sudden desire to communicate with me in English. I asked James what was wrong. He replied “Jo Teacher…..today is name changee….My name is Mario.” I went round and asked each student in turn “What is your name?” and instead of Eddie, Jerry, Tom, and Deon I was introduced to Luigi, Sonic, Wario and God. I “misheard” God as Goat though, much to the annoyance of Deon! Still, they were talking in English, one step at a time!

I was surprised in my one on one lessons when Sonia didn’t know who Kim Jong-il is, and Angela pointed to what she thought was South Korea on a map but what was in fact Florida. Still, I guess they are both peninsulas.

Today I went into my favourite Grade 5 class and Brady told me that he is Jo Teacher, and opened the class with my usual spiel of “How are you?” “How’s the weather?” and “What day is today?” (see the prop above!) So I must be making some impact!

My current project is Grade 4’s Thomas, who is probably the weakest student in his class. Every time he sees me he outstretches his hand and says “candy chuseyo”-thinking that he deserves candy for his use of one English word. If he can say a full sentence to me, maybe, just maybe he will get a piece of candy! 

Home Sweet Home

One giant box of giant peaches later and I have quit my Korean lessons. I get myself out of a stress making situation and yet I still find myself in the middle of one. It’s been a never-ending saga with my crap hole of an apartment and being woken up early everyday for the last two months by the building work outside and inside my apartment is driving me crazy. In my last post I said I wanted to avoid posting when I am in a bad mood-but I am tired and cranky, and in need of a good nights sleep, so I guess I will have to let that rule slide. Besides, there is a maintenance man behind me singing very badly in Korean, so I am allowed to be in a crappy mood.

When I arrived in Korea, I was told that my apartment wasn’t ready yet. Obviously my arrival date was a complete shock to the hagwon, what with my signed contract and all. So the first night was spent in a hotel, and the next day I was taken to my apartment. The hagwon kindly provided lots of household items, and after a good clean (the previous occupant had left behind a lifetime supply of dust and hair) I liked my apartment and its close proximity to the hagwon. It took a month to get connected to the internet and the shower leaked but it was “home” for the next year so I just accepted the flaws by occasionally moaning about them to my friends and family. Plus, I had air con, so at least on that side of things I was happy.

Then the problems started. My boiler broke down three times in as many months. In fact my first night in my apartment was one without hot water-my boiler made such a loud noise I honestly thought I was going to blow the building up. A new building is being constructed next to my block, and there seems to be no need for noise control or awareness of time. The slip road next to my block has been dug up many times now-normally at 7am with jack hammers that make the entire building vibrate. Before I went to Thailand, a gas pipe was installed running the length of my apartment. It wasn’t connected to anything until last week, over a month later. But I kept expecting my landlord to hammer on my door and finish the job. When the job was “finished” I was left with my old gas pipe and stove and an ugly crack in the wall. My television stopped getting a signal the same time they started installing the gas pipe, but when I showed my landlord he pretty much ignored me. I would tell someone at the hagwon, but to be honest I can’t be arsed with it at the moment. Besides, there are only so many times I can watch Narnia without wanting throw the TV out the window.

This week they have been replacing all the boilers in my apartment block. Obviously, with the temperament of my old boiler I welcome this, but the way in which it has been done borders on ridiculous. For starters, I had absolutely no idea this was going to happen. By now the landlord must be aware that my grasp on the Korean language is very limited (and yes I know that’s my fault not his) but a quick conversation with the hagwon, who could have passed a message on to me, would save a lot of time, confusion and frustration for all. For the last three days he has tried to let himself into my apartment and has been stumped by the fact I don’t leave my door wide open for him. Almost like a married couple, we have had the same morning chat for three mornings now.
Landlord (inspecting the door handle as though it’s some mythical creature) “Key, key……….Gas boiler……no key.”
Me (resigned tones, still asleep because it’s 7.30am and I don’t start work until 2pm): “Ok, ok…..”
So I get woken up a stupid o’clock in the morning. I wouldn’t mind this but the actual work they are doing doesn’t start until around three to five hours after I have been woken up. Plus it seems the work is done by a wide variety of different people, none of which can work together at the same time. Day one saw the old boiler removed. In fact all the boilers in the block were removed. On day two the new boiler was attached to the wall but not actually connected to any pipes. So far on day three the area around the boiler has been painted by the previously mentioned singing maintenance man. Surely, just hire the three workers to work at the same time, working a couple of apartments at a time.

Perhaps it’s irrational, but I can’t help but think that when my apartment was leased to the hagwon the amount of work that was planned should have been made known. I know that I am getting accommodation rent free, but a tired and cranky Jo does not a good Jo Teacher make.

Mood Walking.

No jokes about how teaching is an uphill struggle!

I try not to blog when I am in a bad mood, I worry that I might say something I will later regret. Plus, while it might help me release some of my frustration, I would run the risk of turning my blog into one big miserable rant about my experience in South Korea. Since 75% of the time is great it would be a shame to focus too much on the annoyances and disappointments. But it is still necessary to mention them, so at the very least I can read this back in ten years time and berate myself for getting worked up so easily.

One important lesson I learnt at university was that a good walk can clear your head much better than any drink (I am thinking of the alcoholic variety) and of course a walk is a lot healthier for you. Ok, so tonight my stroll led me to a bakery and to some blueberry muffins, but my night time wanderings also gave me time to think.

This past month or so has been blighted by constant schedule changes and lately lots of stitch-ups by my Korean teacher. The latest occurred today and is the final nail in my coffin of rage. As I mentioned in my last entry, Christina spoke to me during my last Korean lesson about the extra one-on-one classes she has set up for me. She suggested I teach 40 minute lessons rather than 30 minute ones to make up for the fact I am not teaching them on Fridays. I countered that time wise that wasn’t feasible and I kept calm about the fact she hadn’t been straight with me over it being three lessons a day rather than one. Today Angela tells me Christina had told her I would be teaching 40 minute lessons from now onwards. Sure, I have been tired lately, but I am fairly certain I haven’t been falling asleep and holding conversations I have no recollection of. Unless someone is spiking the Kimchi…..

So rather than heading to the pharmacy, which Christina owns with her husband, I decided to go for a walk to calm myself down. It was very effective, and no one got angrily shouted at in the process. There was an elderly Korean gentleman sat on a bench singing loudly, but he seemed quite happy to be honest, and he was surrounded by a couple of empty Soju bottles. Ultimately, I have decided that it’s time to put an end to the Korean lessons. While I still want to learn more Korean, they have become more trouble then they are worth and I don’t want to have a major falling out with Christina. Despite the stitch-ups and the confusions I do like her as a person and I would hate that to change. But it seems a bit pointless holding conversations with me and doing the complete opposite to what I have agreed to. Hopefully, this decision should put a stop to that, and not having the lessons should give me more time to make corrections to the text books I am expected to teach from!

Lost in Translation.

As with any experience, foreign or otherwise, you have to be ready for the good times and the bad times. You can’t have one without the other, unless you live in a movie or you are heavily drugged. If I enjoyed this journey too much I would be worried that someone had spiked the kimchi.

When I was eating dinner in the canteen today with a conversation occurring around me about someone called “Jo Teacher” I was pretty certain the kimchi was clean. No one made any attempt to translate what was being said, and since they weren’t talking about my hygiene levels I had no idea what was going on. I should point out that the only Elementary/ Middle School co-teacher who speaks to me is Fely who is originally from the Philippines and married to a Korean. It may explain why schedule changes are so last minute-just hand me a new schedule 10 seconds before it starts and I can’t kick up a fuss. Obviously, my situation would have been made a lot easier if I had learnt Korean before coming out here, but I did naively hope I would have a co-teacher on hand to help me with any problems. Fely does help but no one seems to have cottoned on to the idea of getting her to tell me important things rather than expecting me to instinctively know for instance that tomorrow the classes will start earlier.

Matters weren’t helped by my Korean teacher, Christina, neglecting to mention I would be expected to teach some returning students on a one-to-one basis, which means three extra lessons a day. When I agreed to what I thought would be one extra lesson a day I said that I would be willing to teach the students Monday to Thursday. Today she wanted to know why I couldn’t teach them on Fridays too…..largely because I want to travel and also because I have enough classes already thanks. She had already got me into hot water by talking to Mr Song (my director) about the lessons, which unbeknown to me I was originally going to get paid for privately. I am not allowed to teach private lessons-it wouldn’t go down very well with my alien status or my director. I just don’t like the loss of control over my life and the fact saying yes to one thing seems to result in me doing something completely different.

Being “lost in translation” of course has its fun side, and a small task like buying a bus ticket can feel like a huge accomplishment after a couple of minutes of embarrassed smiles and broken phrases. (In my case, never reaching the intended destination and ending up in the middle of nowhere-priceless!) Attempts at conversations with the GS25 (a local shop) manager and the guy who runs the coffee shop in the town centre are sure ways to make me smile inside and out. A couple of Korean teachers from another Hagwon had a chat with me while I sipped my caramel latte the other day and were just really friendly and lovely. Of course having a small child follow you around a shop pointing at you and shouting Miguk saram (American person), not so much. You get the idea though, it’s all about ups and downs and acknowledging that my Korean co-workers do not represent an accurate show case for Koreans in general.

Random Observations of Korea (ROK) part 2.

Ok, before I blog about Thailand I just wanted to write a bit more about my observations of Korea and also mention some more of the kids and some of the crazy and hilarious things that come out of their mouths!

I was walking to the train station today to buy tickets for my trip to Gwangju and during the twenty minutes walk I was reminded of some of the things I love, hate and just don’t understand about Korea. (I realise that some of these things apply to other countries too, I don’t mean to generalise they are just my observations.)

Love: At the start of the main road leading up to the train station there is always a gaggle of old Korean women selling various fruits and vegetables along the pavement. It is a proper little community and reminds me of farmer markets back home. I love knowing that the money is going to the person who made the product rather than a faceless corporation that packages carrots to within an inch of their very being just for the sake of being wasteful. Although talking of wastefulness, I have noticed that many things in Korea are overly packaged. There is a huge emphasis on recycling though, and it’s very common to see often retired men pushing ox carts down the street laden with cardboard they have collected.

Hate: Spitting. No exaggeration, I heard/saw 6 men hawking up the contents of their throat and spitting it out onto the street on my little walk. I probably would have less of a problem with the whole concept if it didn’t come with sound effects. Even some women are comfortable with “hhuuucckkkk”ing up their lungs and plopping the contents onto the street, into the bathroom sink etc. Every morning I am regaled with a chorus of various throat noises-I spent my first couple of weeks searching around the apartment for what sounded like a dying animal. Yet, it’s considered rude to blow your nose at the dinner table! In a country where 90% of the food (if you exclude the rice) is spicy!? When I hear the hocking sound though, I can’t help but shudder to my very core. Surely it would be better for people to stop eating/smoking what’s making them need to splatter the pavement with phlegm.

Just don’t understand: This woman I saw might just have been the village odd job-but she was carrying two umbrellas. (No, I am not obsessed with umbrellas honest!) One was up to protect her from the sun, and the other she was just carrying…either she’s just extra cautious, or well I don’t know. It’s similar to the river power walkers who feel the need to wear visors at 9 o’clock at night!

Ok on to the kids, so today I realised that I was being a tad bit too ambitious when I expected my grade 4 class (11 in Korean age, 10 in Western) to spell 3 letter words. This was even with me prompting them with phonics and at one point gesturing frantically at the board where I had written the alphabet. “Number one, pig…..P I G.” Still I have identified a very crucial problem and in my next lesson I will start trying to remedy it. Deon and Joo-Joo kept wanting me to call “sleepy” as a word, so to give them a bonus point I called number 16: “Sleepy” Deon slept it “sleey” and Joo-Joo yelled at me for “help.” Repeat to myself three time, “they are not beyond help, they are not beyond help…..”

I had to give Grade 3’s cute little Cathy a bear hug today. Fely and me conducted question time with the kids-how are you? How’s the weather? And so on. When Cathy was asked “how are you?” she responded in Korean, Fely translated it as “lonely.” Bless her, as she was leaving I gave a hug and it seemed to cheer her up. Despite some very loud tantrums (she’s probably a Korean version of me!) she’s on my list of kids I want to smuggle home in my suitcase!

Grade one provide the most giggles though. I was teaching them occupations the other day, and I sincerely hope that if my house is ever on fire I am saved by a “fire dryer.” Joyce tried to convince me her older brother (Jerry from Grade 3) is a pack-horse, when I asked her what he does-“Is Jerry a doctor?” “NOOOO.”  “Is Jerry a student?” “Nooooo.” Grabbing my phone, which has an English-Korean/ Korean-English Dictionary she frantically typed away producing “pack horse” with a very smug look on her face. It’s incredibly cute though when the girls get concerned if I am not wearing my glasses. They certainly make my time at the Hagwon very entertaining.

I must be doing something right too, because some of the Middle School students I used to teach have requested me back as their teacher. Jo Teacher indeed!   

Four Months-Has Jo Teacher been broken in?

Ok, I know what you are all thinking. “Alright Jo, enough of the history/current affairs lectures!” Don’t worry, I shall return to making random observations and recapping funny little stories about getting lost in translation in Korea.

I am now four months into my Korean adventure and it turned out that my umbrella wasn’t as sturdy as I initially thought. No that’s not a metaphor, my umbrella just fell apart so I had to throw it away, and the new one packed up a couple of weeks after I brought it. In a country where umbrellas are used come rain or shine, you’d think they would be built not to break the moment they are touched by, oh lets say, rain. Still, on the bright side, my boiler has been fine this month and I can have hot showers!

One thing I have learnt to appreciate (there is a long list of things) about South Korea is the fact it’s an incredibly safe place if you don’t take into consideration its northern neighbour. I am talking about the violent crime rate, or the lack thereof. When I am walking around alone late at night I don’t feel threatened, even when I am about to walk through a small crowd of sojued up old businessmen-on a weekday no less! Walking home along the river after my Korean lesson at around 10pm I often see young children seemingly without adult supervision. At the start of August a gas pipe was installed in my apartment. While the work was being done I was required to leave my flat unlocked when I went to the Hagwon, and aside from the ugly cracks in one of the walls my flat was how I left it when I returned. The gas pipe as yet hasn’t been connected to anything, and my landlord occasionally pops round at 7 in morning just to wake me up, shout at me in the Korean and point at the pipe, but that’s another story. I guess it’s just refreshing not constantly reading about so-called gang and knife culture.

Of course there have been schedule changes galore, and I am now flying solo with Grade 3 (12 kids) and Grade 4 (as of today 14 kids-new addition Deon). Both grades have a set of Tom and Jerry’s, and Grade 4 has a girl called Joo-Joo who for some reason feels the need to mount me from behind every time she sees me. Grade 3 has a little gem called Yarn (I have absolutely no idea why she’s called that!) who isn’t arrogant like some of the brighter boys. Grade 4 are having difficulty grasping the fact I don’t speak enough Korean to understand them, but once they get bored of trying to explain something to me I am greeted with a chorus of “Are you crazy?”s followed by hysterical laughter when I respond “Yes, I am.” Well, it does help. Grade 3 are much cuter, more cheeky than naughty, and really fun to teach, except when it comes to games-honestly, the competitive nature of these kids is frightening. In one class, three of the girls burst into tears when they got an answer wrong and no amounts of “It’s ok, don’t worry” helped. I just wish they could break the classes down a little bit, because some of the weaker children would really benefit from a smaller, calmer environment. One of my lovely Grade One girls has left (Jane), but as a result Joyce has become more chilled out-swings and roundabouts. I was apprehensive about Christian (“How are you?” parrot boy) being moved up to the top set of Grade Five, but apparently being the weakest in the class has a real affect on a child-he was so polite and tried so hard today that I had to stop myself looking for switch-robot kids! I must have reached a level of acceptance now because the constant change is no longer getting a rant out of me anymore-I’ve been broken in it seems! However, I was reminded that I worked in a “run for profit” organisation when Fely told me there is talk of kicking Henry out of the Hagwon. Henry is one of the Grade 2 boys who’s finding English difficult, he really sweet and unassuming though, unlike some of the older kids who act out when they don’t understand. Apparently, he’s not doing well in any of his subjects, “he’s too stupid” (not my words) for the Hagwon.

I have had a month of Korean lessons now, but I am under no illusions that I am any good. I can understand the odd phrase, and I am getting really good at guessing what questions are being asked of me (Where are you from? Are you a student? Etc), but really I need to find an outlet outside of my Korean lesson to practice. Obviously it would be detrimental and unhelpful to try out my Korean in classes. With regards to my Korean co-workers I would get more conversation out of a gaggle of mime artists. But I am trying, and hopefully I will meet someone who’s happy to listen to me buggering up their first tongue! I have no fears about “losing face”-did you read my response to “Are you crazy?” Just to show off, I am nothing but honest, here are a couple of phrases I have mastered!

나는 매일 머리를 감아요 – I wash my hair everyday. (I might meet some really interesting in my personal hygiene levels-the sentence structure-I everyday my hair wash.)

나는 귀여워요 – I am cute. Apparently! Just by being a Westerner I am told I have a cute face, which is always nice!

I realise the two phrases above could both be part of some online dating profile. Why I feel the need to rain on my own parade is beyond me-especially when I don’t have a functioning umbrella!

I wanted my four month reflections to be about Korea, but next time I will blog about my adventures in Thailand-and explain how the trip made me realise how fond I had grown of South Korea-and also how glad I was to meet up with a familiar face.

A Typical Day in the Life of Jo Teacher.*

*Subject to change…..a lot, and preferably at the last minute!

After the random ramblings of my last blog entry I thought I would share a typical day in my role as Jo Teacher. As there are rumblings of a schedule change in my not so distant future I wanted to document my early days with pictures of the children and a bit of observation on what my job actually entails.

I start work at 2pm, which of course means lie in galore! I live less than ten minutes from the academy, so it’s a leisurely little stroll into work along the river, followed by greeting my Korean co-workers with hello (in Korean-hark at me) and a little bow each time and fifteen minutes sat at my desk planning my first lesson and searching for flashcards. It would make my life a lot easier if I spent an entire day sorting them all out but other things always come up-for instance, well pretty much anything.

First class: 2.15-3.00. The girls in my first class-Elementary Grade One-are bloody brilliant! The three J’s (there were four when I first started-and no I am not scaring them off!) Jenny, Jane and Joyce. They are all incredibly cute, and all pretty smart-with just the right level of cheekiness. I am trying to encourage the use of full sentences and individuality rather than strictly focusing on spelling and mass word absorption-the staples of Englishee teaching and learning in Korea. The textbooks for Elementary “Fun Fun English” (-read “very random, not so fun, and largely a hindrance English” and you’re close-) are pretty rubbish, but I enjoy working around them and supplementing with games and fun little worksheets. Oh and Bingo, not just number bingo, but picture bingo too! Below is a picture of Jenny, the brains of Grade One.

Second class: 4.00-4.45. There are 14 students in Elementary Grade Five, and they have been broken down into two separate groups based on ability and behaviour. I have class one (the “top” set) Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and class two Tuesday and Thursday. 14 children-and somehow there are two Gharphields….Gharphield I and Gharphield II-yes spelt like that! Class one are a great bunch of kids, see the picture below.-just the right level of rowdiness, but all pretty willing to learn-even Rudy whose main interest is food!
Me: Rudy, how are you?
Rudy: I am very, very, very………hungry! (Everyday!)
The students in class two are more of a challenge, and mixed bunch ability wise. One of the kids is a newbie, and on a different book to the rest of the class which makes planning hard. The saving grace of the class is Ivy, who the rest of the class are horrible to, but she’s a little star and makes up for the rest of them refusing to make an effort, and mocking me at every turn!
Me: Hi Christian, how are you?
Christian: (Stares at me wide eyed until I repeat myself before putting on a baby voice) How are you? How are you? ………..
Fun Fun English!

In between lessons I plan the next ones, drink coffee, and talk to the kids, as well as some of my co-teachers. Especially Fely, who is an absolute gem. I tend to pop up to the kindergarten pretty much everyday to see Rachel and Paul, the other English teachers at my school, as well as the Korean kindergarten teachers who are all really nice and friendly and of course the kiddies-who are so cute and always happy to see me! Now that exams are over, when I am at my desk, the Middle School girls all gather in the teachers section and tell me how beautiful I am (it’s a hard life) and ask me loads of questions.

Dinner break: 5.30-5.50. Time to head down to the canteen and fill up on rice and soup! Still haven’t mastered metal chopsticks completely yet, though I am getting there, and for the most part I really enjoy Korean food. There are days when I would murder for a curry but normally I head down to the canteen and it’s all good! Especially when it’s bibimbap day!

Third class 6:30-7.15 (or 6.00-7.00 on a Friday-and Elementary rather than Middle School) My first evening class is a Middle School class with five great students all aged 14. Three of them (Angela, Sonia and Brenden) are in the Philippines at the moment, so for the next 8 weeks it’s just Jack and Steven-who are very different in ability, but both very fun to teach. I don’t have textbook to teach them from, so I have to make it up myself, which I am finding really enjoyable. The only downside is they have the English ability to tell me that what we’re doing is boring! This is the class where I spend a lot of time correcting “thank you very muchee” and “watch-ed,” but you can have a laugh with it.

Fourth class: 7.15-8.00 (or 7.00-8.00 on a Friday). This is an Elementary Class with four kids, each different ages, but pretty similar in ability. Aron, Angela’s brother (see the cheeky chap above), is the oldest and the smartest. Antony, Jack’s brother, is the youngest, though is pretty good for his age. They all tend to say “Engrish” instead of the more conventional “English” So when we play a game on little whiteboards where they have to write words or draw objects I get a chorus of “Engrish?” each time, which is strangely endearing. The only downside is that by the time they come to me they have been in school over 10 hours already, so they really aren’t in the mood for Jo Teacher and her quest to teach them English.

My fifth class, another Middle School class, was put on hold while the two girls (Merry-who calls me “Teacher Jo” and Stella) had exams. They are best friends and both great girls though, so I am looking forward to teaching them again soon.

The more observant of you will notice I am currently only actually teaching 3 hours a day, which is not a bad deal at all. I am aware though that this will change once the government schools close for summer vacation and the students all come to the hagwon earlier. At the moment though I am taking each day as it comes and find something to laugh about at least once a lesson, even if the kids don’t know why I am laughing.