What I Am Not Going To Miss......

As my last entry shows there are a lot of things that I will miss from Korea. But there will also be things I definitely won’t be sad to leave behind. There’s no denying that Korea has a way of getting under your skin and teaching in Korea is an easy life to lead. The job itself isn’t greatly challenging, the accommodation is free and the pay is fantastic, and by and large you can adapt to living in South Korea without major incident. Unless you have a tendency to fall over and injure yourself that is. Nonetheless, there are some things about living here that drive me a little bit crazy. From blaming a lack of understanding on “cultural differences,” to unscheduled schedule changes, to the fact rock, paper, scissors is THE ultimate decider, there can be some hiccups along the way.

Number one on my list of things I am not going to miss is Christina. If I had a Christmas card list it’s fairly safe to assume that Christina wouldn’t be on it. To be honest, with the schedule changes and constant academy glitches I can almost write that off as bad management and poor organisational skills, but with my ankle injury she has outright lied to me.

괜찮 아요? 아니 a million times over!

On 2^nd April I went back to the hospital to get a new prescription of painkillers, but this time I was taken by Soon and April two of my adult students. My doctor was the one who had barely glanced at me at the previous appointments. So imagine my surprise when he opened his mouth and spoke English to me. I know that I am the foreigner here and in order to make my own life easier I should have learnt more Korean, but surely his job would have been easier if he had spoken English to me in the first place. Since thanks to Christina and her “mistranslations” I didn’t walk on my ankle when I should have, I didn’t have any physical therapy, and I didn’t have pain medication and anti-inflammatory drugs. I have no idea why Christina “mistranslated” these things to me, and despite the fact she is potentially the best Korean at English in Hongseong I am under no inclination to have a discussion with her about it. Sure, it was a step in the right direction when I started getting the right treatment, and it turns out my googling was correct-it is a high ankle sprain, but all this could have possibly been avoided if the doctor had catered to his patient rather than his pride, and Christina had spared a second of her time to ensure her commodity (me) was healthy and mobile.

I am not going to miss the hospital. I have made eight trips to the hospital since I tripped over, and one time I left with a burn on my leg from the hot packs I was being treated with during the physical therapy. Aside from been scarred, I had the pleasure of being told my injury would recover more quickly if I lost weight, because I am “too heavy” apparently. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with Charlie neglecting to tell me not to walk on it at all after my first visit. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with my ankle being sat on by a 14 year old. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with lack of painkillers and anti-inflammatory drugs for the first month. I know I didn’t help matters with my refusal to let this injury slow me down completely, and also the fact I fell over on the train and landed on my ankle definitely didn’t do me any favours, but I reject the notion that my weight is an issue. For starters, I have lost a lot weight since I arrived in Korea, I am happy with my body image. They are called hips, I am sure they were covered somewhere in anatomy class.

As so many of my blog entries may have suggested I am not a huge fan of all the schedule changes I have had to put with. You may have picked up on this, I have tried to be subtle. To be sure, it’s a very nice feeling when the kids are visibly saddened by the news that they don’t have my class, but the amount of large minute changes that occur is astounding. Just one example, last Friday my manager told me three of my classes were cancelled and I could go home after dinner, and just as I was walking out the door one of the classes was back on. This all took place in under 15 minutes. Unlike Christina at least the current manager sometimes tries to offer an explanation. However, the whole set-up is made awkward by the fact many of the students seem to have a better grasp of English then he does. In some ways I worry that this year may have had a detrimental effect on my work ethic. Time wasted making worksheets and planning activities for classes that never take place does decrease the time I am willing to spend preparing. More crucially, I get no say in who goes in what class and when I do make a suggestion it’s more often than not ignored, leaving me with a group of students who can have a high level conversation and a couple of students who can barely answer what they had for lunch (Rice, kimchi, soup) or dinner the previous night (wait for it….rice, kimchi and soup!).

One thing I am definitely not going to miss is the religious awakenings that occur from time to time-usually early in the morning. As in being woken up by religious people who try to “enlighten” me and are seemingly not deterred by the fact I don’t speak Korean. No fear, we have an Engrishee pamphlet here somewhere. Some of you are probably wondering why I still answer my door after all the hassle I had with Mr “no-key” Landlord, but in Korea there is a tendency to keep hammering on your door until someone answers or it falls off its hinges, which ever comes first.

I am not going to miss the celebrity status that comes with being a 외국인 (foreigner) in Korea. Of course I am going to miss the perks, especially “service” and the freebies on the train when someone wants to try out their English. But I not going to miss being stared at everywhere I go. I am not going to miss the ignorance, or the assumption that I am an American or a Russian. (Being asked if you are Russian in Korea is a bit of a double edged sword-because it often means they think you are beautiful, but it also means they think you are a prostitute).

The amazement that I can handle spicy food or use chopsticks can wear a bit thin after a while. But being told that because Koreans use chopsticks they are better at doing things with their hands was a concept I found difficult to stomach. Apparently it makes them good hairdressers. I have some students that suggest otherwise. There is a bit of a Korea is number one mentality that I find really quite ugly. I am all for national pride, in moderation, but being asked if we have boiled eggs in England, seriously? “No sorry, Korea has the monopoly on hens and water.”

I am not going to miss the shuffling sound of the black and white flip-flops or “slippers” on the tarmac.

I am definitely not going to miss the spitting…..

But as I was writing this list I realised that the list of things I am going to miss is much longer, and in many ways more substantial. Don’t worry, I am not planning on caving into my students requests for me to stay out here, I am just glad to be leaving while I still like the place.

What I am Going Miss.....

I have been excited about the fact I am going home soon since January. According to my calendar it looks like the countdown started when I had 14 weeks left, and today I have less than 3. In a mere 20 days I will be boarding a plane and heading home with a bag full of memories and a head filled with mixed emotions.

I am returning to an awesome family and an incredible bunch of friends, but April is bittersweet for me because this chapter of The Adventures of Viro (Che Ji Yeon) and Jo (Jo Sun Jin) is coming to an end. Sure there will be plenty more chapters in the future, but for now there will be no more Shabu Shabu sessions, no chats until the early hours of the morning and no hobbling around the shops of Hongseong or Myeongdong. She will be heading back to South Africa 11 days before I leave, and I just want to say I am grateful for all the good times, and for all the support she has given me this year. It has been awesomeness squared.

In some ways I am going to miss Seoul Hagwon. Not necessarily the schedule changes though. One good outcome of my injured ankle was that it generated the invite to have lunch everyday in the kindergarten. It has served as a sharp reminder of me just eleven months ago fresh off the plane, dropping food all over the place, and unable to believe how cute the kids are. While the last one still applies I have just about recovered from the jetlag and for the most part I have mastered the metal chopsticks. I have learnt so much this year, and seen a good portion of Korea and much of that is thanks to Rachel and Paul. My 10 hours a day spent in the Seoul Hagwon have passed a lot quicker thanks to our lunch time chats, and I am sure there will be a kimchi related reunion when they go back to the UK in 2010.

Like I have said on numerous occasions, I am going to really miss my students, yes even the one who sat on my foot! My adult students have really grown on me (admittedly part of me resented having to give up my lovely lie-ins), and I will definitely miss the varied discussions that take place far too early for my frazzled brain. From car accidents, to alcohol blackouts, to test tube babies, they have definitely given me a small insight into Korean culture, and hopefully I have taught them a few things too. Last week they took me to Namunjae off the coast of my province and treated me to some very good food. As my next blog entry will show, they have also helped me out with my hospital appointments, and they ensure I get to the hagwon in the morning by picking me up on their way.

I am really going to miss Korean food. As well as the lunch in the kindergarten I also eat a Korean meal for dinner with the director of my hagwon, his nephew and the manager of the English academy. All of them wolf down their food before I get a chance to sit down, and the manager is under the impression that I just arrived in Korea, as he feels the need to describe the food to me before I eat it-and by describe I mean point to and say what it is, but specify that it’s Korean-“Korean fish,” “Korean soup,” “Korean mushroom” and so on. On the plus side many Koreans find the ability of “foreigners” to handle “spicy” food amazing, and are genuinely impressed if you like kimchi and can use chopsticks. I am going to miss the fact you can get restaurant food delivered for free to your door on actual plates which get collected an hour or so after-no need to wash, no need to tip. Most of all I am going to miss eating out and getting free food (thanks to Viro) or getting dessert as “service” (Canmore).

I am going to miss the train rides. I love train journeys, even the ones that lead to me getting insulted by sojued up old Korean mean. To be sure, there have been some delays (not that they show up on the boards), but the rail system here is cheap, easy and clean. If you don’t mind the stink of dried squid that is. My biggest complaint is that the last train back from Yongsan to Hongseong is at 8.20…which means a trip to Seoul tends to involve an overnight stay or an early return home. I am going to miss being on a train or subway and not understanding what it being said around me. It’s very easy to tune out the chatter around you when you don’t understand the language. Note-this doesn’t work when a 16-24 year old woman is whinging into her mobile. I am not going to miss the handheld TV’s that half the population of Korea seem to own and watch on the train, without earphones, at full volume. I am not going to miss being told to be quiet by a middle aged man because apparently “Korea is quiet,” while his wife smacks gum louder than the laws of physics allow and his kids watch the last episode of 꽃보다 남자 (Boys over Flowers). This may or may not have actually happened.

I am going to miss my crapartment, well the freedom that it represents, not so much the horrible smells that seep through the vents when anyone cooks in the building. Also, I am not going to miss the never-ending building work that has troubled my sleep since I arrived. Most importantly I am not going to miss the fear I feel when I approach my building thanks to the creep that harassed me back in January. But I am going to miss the fact it’s my own place, and I can do what I want when I want, including blaring my tunes at all hours of the day and night. I am going to miss the ondol (underfloor heating) which is a glorious idea and definitely made coming in from the snow welcoming. I am going to miss the fact everything is within hopping distance, though thanks to my ankle injury I have a new found appreciation for carpets in bathrooms, or at the very least railings.

I am going to miss Korean pop music and the fact the children remember the English lyrics better than they can remember the most simple of phrases. “I’m so sorry but I love you” (Big Bang). “Baby one more time” (Jewelry). “Nobody, nobody but you” “Tell me, tell me” (Wondergirls). “I gotta be a bad boy” (Rain). These are just some of the lyrics that plague every English classroom in Korea at some point. It can get old very quickly, but I am going through an “I’m going home soon so everything in Korea is great phrase.” I am not going to miss the Korean versions of English songs-the Korean version of Craig David’s Insomnia by Wheesung is not good.

I am going to miss checking out Korean guys…there I said it! But I am happy that I have some Rain to keep me happy in the UK.

I am kind of going to miss the obsession with mirrors. From what I have observed, if it doesn’t move it needs a mirror on it. Even mobile phones can serve as mirrors. In public bathrooms you can check yourself out as your use the toilet because more often than not there is a mirror on the stall door. I am fairly certain that the minute a girl reaches puberty in Korea a mirror is surgically attached to her hand. Based on my experiences in bathrooms at least one member of a group of secondary school age girls should have a pair of straighteners in her bag. Although, now I have a fringe of my very own, I can almost appreciate the disconcertingly high number of mirrors, almost….

As you can see I am going to miss so many aspects of my life in South Korea, but I can honestly say that one year is enough. There are so many other countries I have yet to experience, and I haven’t fallen in love with Korea, I have merely grown very fond of it. That’s not enough to sustain me for another year. I will take away some amazing memories but I ready to start my next chapter. I am ready to trade in the kimchi for some roast potatoes.

I am Turning Into Dr. House...

…it’s not just the leg, it’s the language too. Don’t worry, I haven’t “like” picked up the American accent. It’s just that last week I said zee instead of zed for Z and I didn’t even need to think about it. I know that makes me a walking (ok not so much) contradiction (see my blog entry from 18 July 2008), but in my defence I do have a lot on my mind at the moment.

I went back to the hospital on Tuesday 24 March and my lovely green cast was cut off. Instead I was put in an ankle support bandage and told by Christina to flex and massage the foot and not to walk on it for another three weeks. I paid for an appointment with an orthopaedic surgeon who didn’t even make eye contact with me, let alone look at my foot once it was out of the cast. I assumed that the doctor who took the cast off would have done something if there was cause for alarm. But the cynical part of me thinks they just wanted me out of the hospital as fast I could hobble. As you can see in the lovely picture below, my leg muscles have wasted away, and my right leg has taken on the characteristics of an anorexic twiglet.


To make matters worse, on Friday, one of my students, 14 year old Jun, “accidentally” sat on my foot. The fact that my Manager doesn’t speak or understand English was highlighted by his lack of alarm at a shaking, pale Jo saying “he sat on my foot.” Smiling and nodding was not the response I had been hoping to elicit. This incident, combined with me falling over on the train on Saturday, saw a return visit to the hospital on Sunday. This time I went without a Korean translator, with the hope that I would be able to speak to a doctor and get some direct answers. So instead I went with Viro, who’s been an awesome crutch throughout this whole nightmare. After the doctor finished panicking about the fact he had to use English with me, I was given painkillers (or “energisers” as he referred to them), my second shot in the arse and I was told that I should be starting to walk on my ankle again using only one crutch as support. I am now at a loss as to how five days and extra trauma to the ankle can lead to such a contradictory diagnosis, and as a result this weekend saw my first proper meltdown since this whole thing started.

I asked the doctor to explain what was actually wrong with my ankle and he told me it’s an ankle sprain. My research on google (desperate times and all that) based on the treatment they’ve given me, and my interpretation of the x-ray, points to a high ankle sprain, which hopefully explains why it’s still so painful nearly 5 weeks after the event. The doctor added that if the pain persists I will need an MRI, a machine that Hongseong apparently doesn’t have, but to be honest I just want to wait until I come home, which is only in 29 days now. I asked for and got a copy of the original x-ray, and I will be going back to the hospital for more painkillers...but I am just confused as to the best course of action.

This whole situation has not put too much of a damper on the end of my time in South Korea, although it’s definitely screwed up my plans, and made the most simple of tasks a lot of more difficult. Hopefully the second doctor was right, and I know that walking on my bad ankle should build up the muscles and strength my leg again, I just don’t want to do anymore damage… I guess only time will tell.