Reverse Culture Shock

Well, I am back in the United Kingdom, and adjusting is harder than I was expecting. The year in South Korea has changed me in ways I have yet to fully understand or realise, and I am returning to a town where the biggest change has been the colour of the Iron Bridge. Being surrounded by spoken English is giving me a headache and on my first day back the NHS actually made me long for the Korean hospital where I am considered fat and where the therapy involves being scarred for life and being subjected to naked old ladies. While it’s refreshing to see a range of clothes sizes instead of just “free size” (as in no hips, no fat free size) I am saddened by the increasingly amount of what can only be described as morbid obesity on the streets of Britain. I am all for eating good food and I will never be a size 8, but the key word is moderation, and once you have reached size 20 you have overstepped the mark by a long shot. To be sure, this was the right time for me to come home, and I can’t wait to make a start on my PGCE. At the same time, I can understand why people get addicted to the TEFL way of life, and end up re-signing or moving on to the next country.

I have come away from Korea with much more conservative taste in clothing. It’s considered unseemly in Korea to show your shoulders and chest area, though admittedly there are seemingly no qualms about showing the tops of your thighs. Prior to coming to Korea I spent most of my time in strappy tops, even in winter, but now I feel exposed if I am not covered up. It was refreshing to be able to put half my wardrobe in the charity bins, thanks to healthier eating (yes, I do miss Kimchi) and (from when I had two good ankles) lots of walking, but I am surprised at how my taste in clothing has changed. Newsflash, South Korea has turned me into an old lady prone to saying “cover yourself before you catch swine flu” and “you’ll have someone’s eyes out with those.”

The colours seem to be more vivid here, particularly all the greens, even the grey sky seems more vivid. But then again architecturally, much of modern South Korea is as dull as an evening with Ken Barlow-who is still the stud of Coronation Street apparently. I think the colours may seem more bright because England is a lot flatter than Korea, and everywhere I look there are bright gardens, something that apartment building laden Korea severely lacks. Being away has really made me appreciate just how beautiful the United Kingdom can be from the wide open green spaces, to the old intricate architecture. I definitely prefer houses to towering apartment blocks which to me can feel constricting and imposing. But I didn’t realise how much I liked being able to see mountains where ever I was in South Korea. As I have said before on this blog, I am a writing contradiction, I like flat green spaces, but I also like mountains. Perhaps this is the reason why the transition seems so difficult, I don’t know what I want from life at the moment and coming back my feelings weren’t as clear cut as I was expecting them to be.

One thing that is clear cut is the expense. The vast majority of things are more expensive here, a fact that I already knew but that doesn’t make parting with the money any easier. Shelling out £40 for a return train journey knowing that £10 would have got me a similar amount of time on a train in Korea, and on a train with more leg room and more comfortable seats as well, is not making me feel all warm and gooey inside about the UK. Admittedly I didn’t save as much as I was hoping to, but I don’t regret any of the travelling that I did while I was over there. I think a second year in the same country would enable you to save more. Nevertheless I am still of the frame of mind that there is so much more to see on this planet, and if I had spent longer in Korea the novelty would have worn off, and I would have developed itchy feet. Besides there is only so long a girl can go without roast potatoes.

What I Am Not Going To Miss......

As my last entry shows there are a lot of things that I will miss from Korea. But there will also be things I definitely won’t be sad to leave behind. There’s no denying that Korea has a way of getting under your skin and teaching in Korea is an easy life to lead. The job itself isn’t greatly challenging, the accommodation is free and the pay is fantastic, and by and large you can adapt to living in South Korea without major incident. Unless you have a tendency to fall over and injure yourself that is. Nonetheless, there are some things about living here that drive me a little bit crazy. From blaming a lack of understanding on “cultural differences,” to unscheduled schedule changes, to the fact rock, paper, scissors is THE ultimate decider, there can be some hiccups along the way.

Number one on my list of things I am not going to miss is Christina. If I had a Christmas card list it’s fairly safe to assume that Christina wouldn’t be on it. To be honest, with the schedule changes and constant academy glitches I can almost write that off as bad management and poor organisational skills, but with my ankle injury she has outright lied to me.

괜찮 아요? 아니 a million times over!

On 2^nd April I went back to the hospital to get a new prescription of painkillers, but this time I was taken by Soon and April two of my adult students. My doctor was the one who had barely glanced at me at the previous appointments. So imagine my surprise when he opened his mouth and spoke English to me. I know that I am the foreigner here and in order to make my own life easier I should have learnt more Korean, but surely his job would have been easier if he had spoken English to me in the first place. Since thanks to Christina and her “mistranslations” I didn’t walk on my ankle when I should have, I didn’t have any physical therapy, and I didn’t have pain medication and anti-inflammatory drugs. I have no idea why Christina “mistranslated” these things to me, and despite the fact she is potentially the best Korean at English in Hongseong I am under no inclination to have a discussion with her about it. Sure, it was a step in the right direction when I started getting the right treatment, and it turns out my googling was correct-it is a high ankle sprain, but all this could have possibly been avoided if the doctor had catered to his patient rather than his pride, and Christina had spared a second of her time to ensure her commodity (me) was healthy and mobile.

I am not going to miss the hospital. I have made eight trips to the hospital since I tripped over, and one time I left with a burn on my leg from the hot packs I was being treated with during the physical therapy. Aside from been scarred, I had the pleasure of being told my injury would recover more quickly if I lost weight, because I am “too heavy” apparently. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with Charlie neglecting to tell me not to walk on it at all after my first visit. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with my ankle being sat on by a 14 year old. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with lack of painkillers and anti-inflammatory drugs for the first month. I know I didn’t help matters with my refusal to let this injury slow me down completely, and also the fact I fell over on the train and landed on my ankle definitely didn’t do me any favours, but I reject the notion that my weight is an issue. For starters, I have lost a lot weight since I arrived in Korea, I am happy with my body image. They are called hips, I am sure they were covered somewhere in anatomy class.

As so many of my blog entries may have suggested I am not a huge fan of all the schedule changes I have had to put with. You may have picked up on this, I have tried to be subtle. To be sure, it’s a very nice feeling when the kids are visibly saddened by the news that they don’t have my class, but the amount of large minute changes that occur is astounding. Just one example, last Friday my manager told me three of my classes were cancelled and I could go home after dinner, and just as I was walking out the door one of the classes was back on. This all took place in under 15 minutes. Unlike Christina at least the current manager sometimes tries to offer an explanation. However, the whole set-up is made awkward by the fact many of the students seem to have a better grasp of English then he does. In some ways I worry that this year may have had a detrimental effect on my work ethic. Time wasted making worksheets and planning activities for classes that never take place does decrease the time I am willing to spend preparing. More crucially, I get no say in who goes in what class and when I do make a suggestion it’s more often than not ignored, leaving me with a group of students who can have a high level conversation and a couple of students who can barely answer what they had for lunch (Rice, kimchi, soup) or dinner the previous night (wait for it….rice, kimchi and soup!).

One thing I am definitely not going to miss is the religious awakenings that occur from time to time-usually early in the morning. As in being woken up by religious people who try to “enlighten” me and are seemingly not deterred by the fact I don’t speak Korean. No fear, we have an Engrishee pamphlet here somewhere. Some of you are probably wondering why I still answer my door after all the hassle I had with Mr “no-key” Landlord, but in Korea there is a tendency to keep hammering on your door until someone answers or it falls off its hinges, which ever comes first.

I am not going to miss the celebrity status that comes with being a 외국인 (foreigner) in Korea. Of course I am going to miss the perks, especially “service” and the freebies on the train when someone wants to try out their English. But I not going to miss being stared at everywhere I go. I am not going to miss the ignorance, or the assumption that I am an American or a Russian. (Being asked if you are Russian in Korea is a bit of a double edged sword-because it often means they think you are beautiful, but it also means they think you are a prostitute).

The amazement that I can handle spicy food or use chopsticks can wear a bit thin after a while. But being told that because Koreans use chopsticks they are better at doing things with their hands was a concept I found difficult to stomach. Apparently it makes them good hairdressers. I have some students that suggest otherwise. There is a bit of a Korea is number one mentality that I find really quite ugly. I am all for national pride, in moderation, but being asked if we have boiled eggs in England, seriously? “No sorry, Korea has the monopoly on hens and water.”

I am not going to miss the shuffling sound of the black and white flip-flops or “slippers” on the tarmac.

I am definitely not going to miss the spitting…..

But as I was writing this list I realised that the list of things I am going to miss is much longer, and in many ways more substantial. Don’t worry, I am not planning on caving into my students requests for me to stay out here, I am just glad to be leaving while I still like the place.

What I am Going Miss.....

I have been excited about the fact I am going home soon since January. According to my calendar it looks like the countdown started when I had 14 weeks left, and today I have less than 3. In a mere 20 days I will be boarding a plane and heading home with a bag full of memories and a head filled with mixed emotions.

I am returning to an awesome family and an incredible bunch of friends, but April is bittersweet for me because this chapter of The Adventures of Viro (Che Ji Yeon) and Jo (Jo Sun Jin) is coming to an end. Sure there will be plenty more chapters in the future, but for now there will be no more Shabu Shabu sessions, no chats until the early hours of the morning and no hobbling around the shops of Hongseong or Myeongdong. She will be heading back to South Africa 11 days before I leave, and I just want to say I am grateful for all the good times, and for all the support she has given me this year. It has been awesomeness squared.

In some ways I am going to miss Seoul Hagwon. Not necessarily the schedule changes though. One good outcome of my injured ankle was that it generated the invite to have lunch everyday in the kindergarten. It has served as a sharp reminder of me just eleven months ago fresh off the plane, dropping food all over the place, and unable to believe how cute the kids are. While the last one still applies I have just about recovered from the jetlag and for the most part I have mastered the metal chopsticks. I have learnt so much this year, and seen a good portion of Korea and much of that is thanks to Rachel and Paul. My 10 hours a day spent in the Seoul Hagwon have passed a lot quicker thanks to our lunch time chats, and I am sure there will be a kimchi related reunion when they go back to the UK in 2010.

Like I have said on numerous occasions, I am going to really miss my students, yes even the one who sat on my foot! My adult students have really grown on me (admittedly part of me resented having to give up my lovely lie-ins), and I will definitely miss the varied discussions that take place far too early for my frazzled brain. From car accidents, to alcohol blackouts, to test tube babies, they have definitely given me a small insight into Korean culture, and hopefully I have taught them a few things too. Last week they took me to Namunjae off the coast of my province and treated me to some very good food. As my next blog entry will show, they have also helped me out with my hospital appointments, and they ensure I get to the hagwon in the morning by picking me up on their way.

I am really going to miss Korean food. As well as the lunch in the kindergarten I also eat a Korean meal for dinner with the director of my hagwon, his nephew and the manager of the English academy. All of them wolf down their food before I get a chance to sit down, and the manager is under the impression that I just arrived in Korea, as he feels the need to describe the food to me before I eat it-and by describe I mean point to and say what it is, but specify that it’s Korean-“Korean fish,” “Korean soup,” “Korean mushroom” and so on. On the plus side many Koreans find the ability of “foreigners” to handle “spicy” food amazing, and are genuinely impressed if you like kimchi and can use chopsticks. I am going to miss the fact you can get restaurant food delivered for free to your door on actual plates which get collected an hour or so after-no need to wash, no need to tip. Most of all I am going to miss eating out and getting free food (thanks to Viro) or getting dessert as “service” (Canmore).

I am going to miss the train rides. I love train journeys, even the ones that lead to me getting insulted by sojued up old Korean mean. To be sure, there have been some delays (not that they show up on the boards), but the rail system here is cheap, easy and clean. If you don’t mind the stink of dried squid that is. My biggest complaint is that the last train back from Yongsan to Hongseong is at 8.20…which means a trip to Seoul tends to involve an overnight stay or an early return home. I am going to miss being on a train or subway and not understanding what it being said around me. It’s very easy to tune out the chatter around you when you don’t understand the language. Note-this doesn’t work when a 16-24 year old woman is whinging into her mobile. I am not going to miss the handheld TV’s that half the population of Korea seem to own and watch on the train, without earphones, at full volume. I am not going to miss being told to be quiet by a middle aged man because apparently “Korea is quiet,” while his wife smacks gum louder than the laws of physics allow and his kids watch the last episode of 꽃보다 남자 (Boys over Flowers). This may or may not have actually happened.

I am going to miss my crapartment, well the freedom that it represents, not so much the horrible smells that seep through the vents when anyone cooks in the building. Also, I am not going to miss the never-ending building work that has troubled my sleep since I arrived. Most importantly I am not going to miss the fear I feel when I approach my building thanks to the creep that harassed me back in January. But I am going to miss the fact it’s my own place, and I can do what I want when I want, including blaring my tunes at all hours of the day and night. I am going to miss the ondol (underfloor heating) which is a glorious idea and definitely made coming in from the snow welcoming. I am going to miss the fact everything is within hopping distance, though thanks to my ankle injury I have a new found appreciation for carpets in bathrooms, or at the very least railings.

I am going to miss Korean pop music and the fact the children remember the English lyrics better than they can remember the most simple of phrases. “I’m so sorry but I love you” (Big Bang). “Baby one more time” (Jewelry). “Nobody, nobody but you” “Tell me, tell me” (Wondergirls). “I gotta be a bad boy” (Rain). These are just some of the lyrics that plague every English classroom in Korea at some point. It can get old very quickly, but I am going through an “I’m going home soon so everything in Korea is great phrase.” I am not going to miss the Korean versions of English songs-the Korean version of Craig David’s Insomnia by Wheesung is not good.

I am going to miss checking out Korean guys…there I said it! But I am happy that I have some Rain to keep me happy in the UK.

I am kind of going to miss the obsession with mirrors. From what I have observed, if it doesn’t move it needs a mirror on it. Even mobile phones can serve as mirrors. In public bathrooms you can check yourself out as your use the toilet because more often than not there is a mirror on the stall door. I am fairly certain that the minute a girl reaches puberty in Korea a mirror is surgically attached to her hand. Based on my experiences in bathrooms at least one member of a group of secondary school age girls should have a pair of straighteners in her bag. Although, now I have a fringe of my very own, I can almost appreciate the disconcertingly high number of mirrors, almost….

As you can see I am going to miss so many aspects of my life in South Korea, but I can honestly say that one year is enough. There are so many other countries I have yet to experience, and I haven’t fallen in love with Korea, I have merely grown very fond of it. That’s not enough to sustain me for another year. I will take away some amazing memories but I ready to start my next chapter. I am ready to trade in the kimchi for some roast potatoes.

One foot in North Korea...

I should have taken advantage of my relaxed schedule before January and visited Jeju Island. I would have liked to have gone back to Seoraksan National Park. I could have avoided this whole mess if I hadn’t done the penguin dance-although I did look good doing it. I shoulda, woulda, coulda, but I didn’t/won’t be able to/can’t. Honestly though, I have no real regrets because what I have done with my time in South Korea has been incredible and exceeded my expectations. However there was one thing I had to do before I came home and that was visit the DMZ, and I managed to do that on the 28th March. For those of you who haven’t heard there was a bit of a war between the North and South of Korea way back in the 1950s, and thanks to the lack of a ratified peace treaty it has kind of never ended. The result is the most heavily fortified frontier in the world, the Demilitarised Zone (DMZ), which is two and a half miles wide and 155 miles from coast to coast, located around the 38th Parallel. That “line on a map, nothing more” I wrote about way back in August. Not going to the DMZ would have been like not trying kimchi, not doing a temple stay, not visiting four other countries while I was “in the area” and not doing the penguin dance….very un-Jo.

Not deterred by the fact Kim Jong-il was planning on flexing his isolated military muscles by launching a hotly contested missile/“communication satellite” four of us left Hongseong on the first train into Seoul. Not deterred by the fact I was on crutches and Jun had sat on my bad foot the day before the USO tour we joined two bus loads of people and made our way to the DMZ. It was worth every inflated won and I thoroughly recommend it if you are in the area.

Two members of the Hongseong posse are relatively newbies to this weird and wonderful land, and I found myself on the defensive for some of the day. To be sure, I have had plenty of days when the first flight out of here wouldn’t have been soon enough, but I came here with an open mind, and I have strived to make the best out of what have been some challenging situations. Defending South Korea made me realise just how much this place has gotten under my skin, and it made me so glad that I came here. It also reminded me that if you want to pull something apart you are always going to find a loose thread. English teachers are easy to replace out here, and once you have come to terms with the fact that working in a hagwon is essentially well-paid glorified babysitting the more fun you will have with it. Life is too short to bitch about something you can change so easily. If you can’t take the kimchi- put the chopsticks down, get your arse off the floor and try teaching somewhere else. What can I say, pain makes me cranky....

Ok, so back to the DMZ tour. The early morning train meant we got to see the sun rise over the mountains that surround Hongseong. Me and Viro came over all Korean with an impromptu photo shoot on the train, and I finally got a shot of my favourite sign (see above-yes I know it’s pronounced Shill-ye-won!). After arriving in Yongsan, and getting quizzical looks from all passer-bys, pretty certain Koreans on crutches remain indoors until they are healed, we made out way to Camp Kim where the office for the USO is located. An elderly gentleman helped us out with directions-it’s pretty amazing how far a sprinkling of Korean can get you, and after 11 months of teaching here it becomes so much easier to understand Konglish. A disappointing coffee later and we were on our way, with a tour guide who sounded like he was still slurring from the previous nights soju, but entertaining nonetheless. The barbed wire that lined the river as we got closer and closer to the DMZ served as a stark reminder of the division between the two Koreas.

Our first stop was for a briefing about the DMZ, and offered our first proper glimpse into North Korea. A yellow line on the ground signalled where we could and could not take pictures, though we did have to gently remind Killian of this fact! Apparently we were lucky in that the yellow dust from China didn’t obscure our view into the bleakness that is North Korea. The guide told us about the battle of the flagpoles. In the 1980s the South Korean government built a 328 ft flagpole, in response the North Koreans erected a 525 ft one. North Korea is the proud owner of the tallest flagpole in the world. I am sure that it was worth it. Next stop was a lunch break-bibimbap or bulgogi…at jacked up prices, but delicious all the same. Apparently my crutches served as a handy conversation piece, and an elderly American felt the need to ask me when I would be settling down and getting married, much to the chagrin of his wife and son.

During the 1970s South Korea discovered four incursion tunnels dug by North Korea in an attempt to launch surprise attacks on Seoul, our tour included a trip down the third one discovered-the “Third Tunnel of Aggression.” Discovered a mere 27 miles away from Seoul it certainly puts the alleged poisoning of the North Korean national football team into perspective. Following the 1-0 loss in Seoul last week, the North's football association said the act was part of Seoul's "moves for confrontation" with Pyongyang. Sure…and the tunnels really were coal mines. First off, we had to watch a propaganda video listing details of the confrontation between the two Koreas and making some rather bold claims about how the DMZ is essentially paradise on earth due to the lack of inhabitants. Thanks to my crutches, I wasn’t able to tackle the 300 metre long tunnel, though I did get to rest my aching leg and catch some rays in the peace and quiet.


The highlight of the tour was Panmunjeom which is home to the Joint Security Area, the only place where the North and the South actually connect. We entered Camp Bonifas (named after a U.S. Captain who was killed by North Korean soldiers during the Axe Murder Incident of 1976…over a tree) and our tour was taken over by the U.S. Army. We were given a lecture that skimmed over a few issues, but essentially outlined why this area is so significant. Then we had to sign waivers which reminded us that we were heading into a very unpredictable area, and could result in death or injury (bit late for that). We were driven to the JSA, where I was greeted by my favourite sport-stairs. The lift was out of order, but there was no way I was going to let stairs stand in my way. The Military Demarcation Line runs right through the centre of Panmunjeom, and the JSA was built smack bang on the middle of it. We were being watched by a North Korean soldier and reminded not to make any gestures towards him. It definitely made the atmosphere very tense. A feeling that was maintained until Killian tried to walk around the wrong side of a ROK (South Korean) soldier and got halted with some seriously cool taekwondo moves.



We then made our way into the Military Armistice Commission building, half of which was built on the North Korean side of the demarcation line. The picture above is of me and Viro on the North Korean with our fierce looking ROK soldier who gave Eugenia a fright after she accidentally put something on one of the tables and he leapt into action! Me and Viro were the last to leave the building, and as we made out way back down to the buses I managed to snap this picture…….



…..says it all!

We were then taken to a South Korea/US guard post, and we were afforded a closer look at Propaganda Village (a uninhabited village on the North side of the MDL, which until 2004 blared out North Korean messages-largely consisting of anti-Western propaganda). We were again reminded of the seriousness of the situation-surrounded by North Korean guard posts on three sides. As our U.S. Army tour bus made its way back to the original bus we passed the Bridge of No Return, which served as the port of exchange for POWs in 1953. It literally was the point of no return, once you crossed it into one country you couldn’t go back.


A sombre tour, but worth every won. As we made our way back into Seoul, and then onward to Hongseong if felt like we were returning from a foreign country, and in a way I guess we were. The bright lights and modernity of Seoul made the DMZ seems so much bleaker, and I can honestly say in the 11 months that I have been here I have never felt the tension between the North and South, even with this whole missile debacle. My thoughts were interrupted when I managed to fall over as we were trying to exit the train, again landing on my bad ankle. But I am glad that I managed to go, and hopefully my children won’t be able to-because all this would have stopped.

I am Turning Into Dr. House...

…it’s not just the leg, it’s the language too. Don’t worry, I haven’t “like” picked up the American accent. It’s just that last week I said zee instead of zed for Z and I didn’t even need to think about it. I know that makes me a walking (ok not so much) contradiction (see my blog entry from 18 July 2008), but in my defence I do have a lot on my mind at the moment.

I went back to the hospital on Tuesday 24 March and my lovely green cast was cut off. Instead I was put in an ankle support bandage and told by Christina to flex and massage the foot and not to walk on it for another three weeks. I paid for an appointment with an orthopaedic surgeon who didn’t even make eye contact with me, let alone look at my foot once it was out of the cast. I assumed that the doctor who took the cast off would have done something if there was cause for alarm. But the cynical part of me thinks they just wanted me out of the hospital as fast I could hobble. As you can see in the lovely picture below, my leg muscles have wasted away, and my right leg has taken on the characteristics of an anorexic twiglet.


To make matters worse, on Friday, one of my students, 14 year old Jun, “accidentally” sat on my foot. The fact that my Manager doesn’t speak or understand English was highlighted by his lack of alarm at a shaking, pale Jo saying “he sat on my foot.” Smiling and nodding was not the response I had been hoping to elicit. This incident, combined with me falling over on the train on Saturday, saw a return visit to the hospital on Sunday. This time I went without a Korean translator, with the hope that I would be able to speak to a doctor and get some direct answers. So instead I went with Viro, who’s been an awesome crutch throughout this whole nightmare. After the doctor finished panicking about the fact he had to use English with me, I was given painkillers (or “energisers” as he referred to them), my second shot in the arse and I was told that I should be starting to walk on my ankle again using only one crutch as support. I am now at a loss as to how five days and extra trauma to the ankle can lead to such a contradictory diagnosis, and as a result this weekend saw my first proper meltdown since this whole thing started.

I asked the doctor to explain what was actually wrong with my ankle and he told me it’s an ankle sprain. My research on google (desperate times and all that) based on the treatment they’ve given me, and my interpretation of the x-ray, points to a high ankle sprain, which hopefully explains why it’s still so painful nearly 5 weeks after the event. The doctor added that if the pain persists I will need an MRI, a machine that Hongseong apparently doesn’t have, but to be honest I just want to wait until I come home, which is only in 29 days now. I asked for and got a copy of the original x-ray, and I will be going back to the hospital for more painkillers...but I am just confused as to the best course of action.

This whole situation has not put too much of a damper on the end of my time in South Korea, although it’s definitely screwed up my plans, and made the most simple of tasks a lot of more difficult. Hopefully the second doctor was right, and I know that walking on my bad ankle should build up the muscles and strength my leg again, I just don’t want to do anymore damage… I guess only time will tell.

11 Months of...Culture Shock!

Even though it’s been nearly eleven months since I stepped off the plane at Incheon International Airport, South Korea still has ways of leaving me very bewildered. Strangely, the bigger things I have just come to accept, from last second schedule changes, to the lack of helpful health and safety signage. Those annoying “no-win, no fee” companies would have a field day in Korea. “This week I ended on my arse in the lobby of Seoul Hagwon after my crutches did the splits on the wet floor. There was no warning sign in sight. Save your Kimchi managed to get me 1000won (50p) in compensation. I bought gimbap.” No, it’s the smaller things that still puzzle me. From serving Tabasco sauce and pickles at every slightly “western style” restaurant, to suggesting I go to the hospital every time I have a cold. I asked one of my adult students about the latter and she explained that one time her mother “endured a cold and it turned into pneumonia.” By “endure” it’s possible she meant her mother never rested and continued to both work 12 hour days and be the sole carer for the family. She also said that the Korean health system is very cheap. I countered that it’s free in the UK and if you went to the doctors with a cold (Korea doesn’t have an equivalent to your local GP/doctor) you would be laughed out by the receptionist and possibly fined for wasting valuable daytime TV watching hours.

More importantly, what is the doctor going to give you for a cold that you can’t buy in a pharmacy? A stern and condescending look? A prescription of kimchi and soju three times daily? Or is Korea harbouring a secret cure for the common cold that it’s refusing to tell the rest of the world about? Judging by the amount of colds I have seen “endured” in this country it’s unlikely. Perhaps if the country wasn’t so anal about sick days and the fact they require a doctors note/all your limbs being severed/death, it would be less of a problem because you could take a couple of days to rest and recuperate. The same would be true if covering your mouth with your hand when you sneeze or cough became a common part of etiquette.

Last week was a first for my time here in Korea. I had a schedule change with an explanation. Thankfully because of my leg I was already sitting down. Ok, I said I had come to accept them, but I meant in a "admit they are going to happen kind of way!" Not that "I have to like them!" Apparently my lessons were too short and the parents had complained, strangely though it was just my lessons that were too short, so the change in schedule only saw my lessons being made longer. I noticed on Thursday that with the first class of the day the kids can’t get from their school/piano hagwon/maths academy in time so they are around 10-15 minutes late for their first class, which is with Yu (the manager). However, instead of moving the start time later, the time has just been added on to my class. I am sure that there is some very flawed logic there. Though why the parents just can't be told that the English monkey is unable to perform to the best of her ability at the moment, and quite frankly doesn't care that you want an extra ten minutes without your children, is beyond me. I am home in just over a month, so my reservoir of enthusiasm and energy has run dry. There's only so much a girl can do with her leg propped up on a chair, only able to use 10 percent of the board, and without books or resources before she gets very frustrated with it all!

My cast.

On Wednesday 4 March I went back to the hospital to get an update on my foot, this time I went with Christina. I was so certain that I would walk out the hospital that I had a shoe in my bag. Instead I was put in plaster cast, given back the crutches and sternly told not to walk on it at all. I am not entirely sure what the problem is, though from the talk of Park Ji Sung between my doctor and Christina I surmised that it's a common injury among football players. The fact that an operation was mentioned (really don't want it to come to that obviously) means that I am taking the "no walking on it" instructions very very seriously. I have to go back on the 24 March to get it checked up again, so fingers crossed that it's not as bad as my over active imagination is trying to tell me it is.

Life on crutches has shown me a whole new side to Korea. From almost being bowled over by an inconsiderate old lady in the hospital reception, to being stared at more than usual. If I thought that being a foreigner in Korea was an insight into being a celebrity, being a foreigner on crutches is like being the Brangelina of celebrities. But the most frustrating part of daily life has been the distinct lack of disabled access to most of the buildings in Hongseong. Lifts here have a handy function-if the kids decided to press all the buttons "as a joke" you can press them again to prevent the lift from stopping. This fact is only handy when you are in a building with lifts.

I haven't been given a repeat prescription for pain medication, which has been a nightmare at times. It's hard enough trying to get the kids to take you seriously when you are sat with your leg in the air encased in a bright green plaster cast, let alone when you are pale and unable to concentrate because of the pain. As we know my method for coping with pain is swearing, and I am fairly certain that the parents won't thank me if all I teach their kids in the next couple of weeks is expletives! But since Christina has apparently "retired" from teaching again, Charlie has been sacked with no warning and the new guy's vocabulary is limited to ancient song lyrics I haven't had much luck expressing how I feel about all this.

In many ways life continues as normal, my schedule has changed three times this week, Seok Jae still "doesn't like me" and Hannah is still crying because her younger sister knows more answers than her. I am glad that I did so much sightseeing before all this happened, and even if I limped home tomorrow I would limp back knowing I have seen a lot more than I ever expected I would. It's still hard not to be despondent at missing out on some of my plans. I am just glad that Viro filled my last weekend with Shabu Shabu, delicious pasta, and plenty of conversation, even on the “bastard stairs.”

I have 45 measly days until I am on the plane back to the United Kingdom, so since I now have a lot of free time on my hands I thought I would share some more about what I will miss from Korea….

…..my kids.....

They have all been so helpful about my leg (fetching me coffee, mocking me and stealing my crutches) so I let them run riot with a marker pen and some tipex and this was the result.

"You're genius" Eric (aka Aron, Angela’s slightly crazy brother) who am I to argue!

"Please Stay Korea" This from Yun Seob, the boy who started my classes hating everything “just” because.

"Teacher Jo is good for health" Steven-maybe he meant the health care system! Though he’s so keen he tries to sneak into extra classes. He also idolises King.

"T. Jo Babo" Sally, babo means stupid/foolish in Korean.....Hey my leg is plaster cast because I tripped over myself…so she might be on to something.

”T. Jo Fighting” Amelia (aka Lita), it’s used by Koreans as a term of encouragement rather than as a challenge!

"I love you" Numerous students (all together now awwwwwwww!!!!)

“T. Jo Bye Bye” Sonia, one of my favourite students, her family is moving to Seosan soon. She asked me yesterday if I would cry when I go home. I think that’s a given now, these kids have been so great.

“빨리나” Basically walk again quickly!

They definitely made the days go quicker, which is no mean feat since I am spending close to 11 hours at the hagwon everyday due to the lack of transport, and the fact I live in a building with no lift.

Crutches in Korea.

This weekend I was supposed to go to Gyeongju with Adventure Korea for one last trip with the tour company. However, yesterday I fell over and damaged a ligament near my ankle. I am currently on crutches. Considering how clumsy I am it was bound to happen eventually. The bonus of it happening here is that I get an amusing story to go with it, and I got to see that the kids are as attached to me as I am to them.

I met up with Viro after my adult class in the morning and we went to our new favourite café-Canmore-home to freebies galore and some interesting décor. As we were leaving I was joking around on the stairs (penguin dance), when we got to the bottom I stepped awkwardly and went over on my ankle. I sat there panting on the floor for a while as Viro looked on helplessly-partly due to me screaming “Don’t touch me!” before continuing to pant. An impatient Korean woman walked past and gave us such a dirty look, despite the fact it was obvious that I was in pain. Viro took me to the nearest doctor who happened to be a paediatrician. She got to experience sweary in-pain Jo. The doctor told me I should get to a hospital, have an x-ray-and probably see a doctor for grown-ups. I didn't have my insurance card on me and I was pretty certain that I had just sprained it so I got a taxi home and packed a bag for the trip. But when I saw my ankle, it was very, very swollen, and tried to walk to my hagwon, I realised that it wasn't alright.

I asked Charlie (the Korean English teacher) if he could take me to the hospital, and we took a taxi there. Bizarrely in a country where the taxis beep you every five seconds it was weird how they all seemed to vanish when we needed one. The receptionists panicked when they saw me, but thankfully poor Charlie could translate. The doctors x-rayed it and found out my ligament is damaged. I am not entirely sure how, but looking at the x-ray my bone is being pushed out of place by the swelling. So now it's in a splint, bandaged up and I am on crutches. The hospital seems to still be under construction because I was placed in a room full of odds and sods, and everyone who walked past came to nose at the crazy foreigner, and her hilarious attempts to use crutches. A shot in the arse later, and I am on my slow way. We grabbed a taxi back to the hagwon, eventually-the sight of Charlie in the middle of an intersection sighing and yelling “taxi” and “진짜!” will hopefully never leave my memory bank!

We got back to the hagwon and I had to teach all day as well as cover Christina’s lessons for the second day in a row. This is despite the fact I was clearly a bit woozy from the pain medication, oh and unable to stand up! I didn’t mind the teaching so much as the fact I had another day of combined level classes, which I had to control from a chair. Christina took my prescription sheet and said that she would be back before I finished, of course she wasn't and so I have no medication even now! She rung me today to say she couldn't move (she couldn't move?!) and she will hopefully be round before midnight with my medication.

I am gutted that I couldn't go on the trip, as I won’t get another chance to go to Gyeongju and I have already written off plans to go to Jeju Island. Thankfully Killian has gone in my place and he will give me the money which is very handy as medical care isn’t free in Korea.

The kids were so concerned when they first saw me on crutches, even the older kids, it was so cute! Andy looked like he was about to cry and when I asked what was wrong he just pointed at my leg. I had to improvise, more than normal, as I was sat down the whole day. Normally I am so active in my classes, so it was a real challenge. Still I got a few giggles with “What’s in Teacher Jo’s bag?” “Oh a shoe!” In one class we needed to erase little white boards and I hadn't been able to buy tissue, so I just cut up the sock I had no use for! But my favourite moment was when the more advanced students tried to figure out the English name for “crutches” we had everything from fake legs to imitation legs (these kids know their words!) thrown about.

I have to go back to the hospital on Wednesday and hopefully by then the swelling will have gone done and I will be crutch free for the rest of my time here.

January in a Nutsell.

On Thursday 8th January I was harassed by a drunken creep in my apartment building, which not only put an end to my belief that Korea is a relatively safe place but also reinforced the fact I am simply an English monkey for my hagwon. Christina demonstrated this with her “don’t go outside” reaction and the way in which she has shown no genuine concern for my welfare. I am just glad that I have some good friends both here and at home who helped me through it. Thank you.

Not surprisingly then, 2009 has got off to a very mixed start. I arrived back from Japan on New Years Eve and had a fabulous evening with Viro and Killian in Hongdae. Mexican food in Itaewon, plenty of bottled water and dancing in my trainers to Nobody by the Wondergirls with my favourite South African chica made for good start to the New Year.

After two months of only working 2 hours a day I was actually looking forward to getting a new schedule. It’s just a shame the new schedule has to be changed every five minutes. The new academy is managed by Christina (see previous entries for some of the troubles she has fuelled), and is an all English academy-as in the only subject taught there is English. On the 2nd January there was a meeting to discuss the schedule and plan for the academy. Despite the fact all the teachers, and the manager, speak remarkably good English the entire two hour meeting was in Korean and in order to get any answers I had to quiz Christina repeatedly. When the academy opened the next week one of the teachers had already quit and there has been no search for a replacement for her. Instead the workload has been split between me and Charlie, with Christina popping in to teach the occasional class and to change the schedule to ensure that she can work in the pharmacy unhindered.

It’s a complete joke-on the enrolment day I just sat around greeting children and their parents, who kept asking me questions in Korean…which I couldn’t answer. The manager, yep that’s you Christina, was no where to be found and poor Charlie was expected to deal with everything. From teaching 2 hours a day I am now teaching 7 hours a day, despite being contracted to only work 6-apparently I will get paid extra for the adult class that was sprung on me after (seriously) the last minute. But in order to ensure I don’t suffer from complete exhaustion I am having to fight Christina every step of the way. Those of you with so-called “proper jobs” will be thinking seven hours Jo, don’t strain yourself! But the hours are split throughout the day, and the seven hours does not include preparation and planning time. The adult class is from 10-11 in the morning and I teach the kids from 2.20-8.30pm. In order to make her life easier Christina keeps trying to move my finish time later and later, so I have to keep putting my foot down and explaining that it’s too much work. Those are the time Christina conveniently forgets that she can speak English.

In addition, I am the “conversation” teacher-and resource wise I have just slightly less than bugger all (particularly as the folder of flashcards and worksheets that I spent hours making has mysteriously disappeared) ...The series of books that we do use is the one I had problems with when I was just teaching Angela, Sonia and Branden-the ones that had been mangled though an antiquated translation device. For two of my classes I have “Power Speaking” books which are actually quite useful. But for the others I was initially given reading comprehension books-to teach speaking skills! I have found and adapted a number of educational activities/games…which are much more productive. One in particular cheered me up after the creep in the apartment block incident, and actually stopped me running away to the airport to get the first plane back to England.

The name of the game is Animal Fight Club, and there are only two rules (ok so none of the kids have heard of, let alone seen the movie, but it’s fun for me). Number one, who will win? Number two, why? All the resources you need-flashcards with animals on them and some kids with lots of imagination. Pick two flashcards to get you going and then one of the kids has to decide who will win and why. Depending on the level of the kids you can decide whether their answer is acceptable in terms of grammar, inventiveness, or just based on whether it’s funny or not. Some classics-Monkey vs. Turtle….Andy-the monkey will win because it will shake the turtle out of the shell and then kick it. Hippo vs. Dog….Angela-the dog will win because it will bring a knife to the fight. I love these kids, despite their violent imaginations!

Aside from the fact I get to teach again, I am also getting school dinners-something I had mentioned that I was missing. Apparently though I have to start paying for them, which is strange as it was never an issue when I worked on the third floor, and I know that Paul and Rachel have never had to pay for theirs. But it was a lovely surprise when I discovered that there were some more familiar faces among my students-Jenny and Ann-the grand-daughters of the fabulous cook in my hagwon. Jenny as in my favourite grade one Jenny, and Ann her frequent crier sister-who has thankfully calmed down on the tear front and is actually very bright one-on-one (picture above). It’s a family affair among the students as a family of five siblings (four excellent, bright girls and one funny boy) are spread through five of the classes. Their aunt is………wait for it……Christina. In my youngest class there a cute set of twins (top picture), and their older brother is in one of the more advanced classes that I teach. I am just glad that I will have a good set of kids to say goodbye too when I go home. They have even given me a Korean name-Jo Su Jin (조수진)-which definitely goes with my new haircut!

The other annoyance of January was the cancellation of my internet which occurred “by mistake.” I am still having trouble understanding how you can accidentally ring up an internet company and cancel someone’s connection, but on the plus side I now have both the internet and TV (it’s only been broken since August). Given the month I was having I was starting to think it was a conspiracy to get me to quit, so imagine my surprise when Christina asked if I would fancy staying in Korea. Once I had fully suppressed the urge to laugh I politely declined. Aside from the simple fact I miss people, I think that 12 months will be more than enough. I have loved this whole experience and in some ways hated it, but I am so glad that I have done it.

Next time on the Travels of Jo: ladyboys, massages, Tuk-Tuks, Khaosan Road, lots of shopping…that’s right kids Thailand the Rerun: This Time it’s With Viro!

Footprints from December.

It has been a while since I opened an entry with a quote-but this one has been very true the last month or so-Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. (Source-anonymous.) So to all the friends and family who read this, I love you and I am very fortunate that my heart is covered in tiny footprints.


December 2008 saw both a goodbye and a new arrival in Hongseong. Jen has gone back to South Africa, the duck restaurant has gone out of business as a result and many of the taxi drivers wait forlornly outside the apartment block for her. To send her off me and Viro took her to Seoul for one last night out, I acted as the tour guide, and Viro discovered the delights of Myeong-dong. Jen has been replaced at New Briton by Killian, who is slowly recovering from the jet-lag and culture shock and is getting used to the sleepy nature of Hongseong.

I had another month of stability schedule wise-as in only teaching the three one on ones. They kept me very entertained-particularly Sonia with her name plays-
J-Jo Teacher is
O-Old and scary teacher –Original teacher –Orange teacher

S-Sonia is not
O-Old or ugly and she has many
N-Nice friends.
I-Isn’t she kind
A-And lucky?

Since I had no news on my schedule or when my holiday would be exactly (I had been told the third week of January) I paid a visit to Christina. I discovered a whole new academy was opening in January and not a lot else. When I asked her about my holiday (bearing in mind the drama and frustration last time round) she tried to give me New Years Day and Lunar New Year off. These are public holidays in South Korea that not only do I not work anyway but I also get paid to have off. In the end I got Boxing Day, and the 29th to the 31st off. So I spent a frantic evening looking for flights and hostel for-on Monday 22nd December…..and ended up with flights to Osaka, Japan from the 27th-31st December, more on that later.

Christmas Day started with some kids yelling at me in the street-but in a good way! The ringleader had the confidence to say “HELLO” to my face, and the other shouted “hi” to my back, before one said “Merry Christmas!” Ahh bless. The day was spent around Rachel and Paul’s apartment with Viro and Killian. We had Secret Santa, Christmas songs courtesy of youtube, food wise we had mushroom soup, curry, and ice-cream, and we all wore Christmas hats. It was a really lovely day, and it made the fact we were all away from our families that little bit easier. Thank you to all everyone who sent me presents, and I am still cursing Royal Mail for being lame. Despite Skype acting up I managed to speak to my family and briefly to Helen, and all in all it was a great day.

Daedunsan Hike-Watch Out For The Spike!

Winter has reached the shores of South Korea complete with snow, minus temperatures and ajummas concerned about my health because I don’t get cold. With still no sign of a new schedule I have been making the most of the weekends.

Last Saturday (6th December) I went hiking with Adventure Korea at Daedunsan, a provincial park in Jeollabuk-do. It is described in the Lonely Liar as “one of Korea’s most scenic mountain areas” and for once the guide book gets it right. The rocky peaks offer spectacular views of the surrounding countryside. Plus the combination of steel stairwells, cable bridges and rocks along with the terrible duo of snow and ice made for an interesting day of trying to stay upright. Some of us didn’t have suitable footwear so at the lunch stop we had to purchase crampons (spikes) for the bottom of our shoes. More on those babies later.

This was my third trip with Adventure Korea, and while each has been thoroughly enjoyable, my one complaint is the way in which they rush you. Fair enough the guides have a schedule they want to stick to, but particularly on a snowy, rocky mountain peak 878 metres above sea level, being told “hurry up” is almost as annoying as being told to “be careful” after you have fallen over.

We took a cable car ride over half way up the mountain, and then got to experience the stairs-the never, ending amount of stairs! It disconcerting watching middle aged Koreans bounce down the slippery stairs with the agility of mountain goats, leaving a waft of a soju cloud behind them, as you huff and puff up the stairs like an obese person at a bakery.

On the way to the top we got to experience a 50 metre long cable bridge seemingly balanced on two rocky peaks. One of our guides thought it would be funny to shake the bridge, which ultimately saw my friend Maja and her friend Erin head back down to the bus. Then there was a very steep stairway, check out the picture, before we reached the peak.

After a brief photo opportunity at the peak we had to start the climb down, spikes on. That’s when the trouble started. My spikes refused to stay on no matter how tight I had them and while the trek down started easy enough we were soon led into a ravine, and that’s where the real fun started. Suffice to say rocks, ice and spikes are not a good combination, as the below picture shows. I was frustrated with the spikes, and had to keep readjusting them and doing them back up, so I was towards the back of the group, on my own when I took a tumble and did this to myself. Ouch!

An hour later we were twenty minutes from the bus, I befriended a lovely Canadian guy, who had much longer legs then me-our conversation meant I kept up with his pace-an act that saw me in agony for the next two days as my legs have become accustomed to not doing much. We were the first back to the bus though, even though I lost a spike towards the end of the hike. Good times.

But the trip served as a reminder for how much beauty Korea has to offer, and how much I enjoy hiking (at my own pace!). Also, how clumsy I am!

Three Year Plan and Randomness!

There has been no more news on the schedule front and the builders on Level 5 seem to be pulling that worldwide builders code stunt of “we can drag this out for a couple more days for the extra cash.” The last couple of weeks have just been spent relaxing in Hongseong, trying and failing to catch up on some sleep, and planning the next few weekends. As the last blog shows too, I have also been using this time to consider my future.

So here a concise version of my three plan:
One year doing a PGCE.
One year becoming a qualified teacher.
One year volunteering/TEFLing/travelling in South America.

In the first two years I hope that I can learn Spanish, and learn how to drive. Not at the same time though since I am not The Stig. I am currently trying to figure out where to do my PGCE. As I only have the internet as a resource it’s hard to make an informed decision. Out of the four universities I am considering I have only been to one of the cities, once, for a Cat Empire gig, so I am taking a stab in the dark and all I am hitting is hot air.

Aside from missing the kids I used to teach I am also missing out on the free school dinners. This means I am not getting my daily fix of rice, kimchi and soup, and this makes me a little bit sad. Since I was getting fed at school my kitchen is lacking certain utensils, for instance a toaster, a microwave and an oven. To be sure, most Korean homes don’t have an oven-which is why my Christmas dinner is going to be a very delicious curry, but since I am limited to food that can be either boiled or fried, my diet is pretty dull and crap at the moment. Plus, to my surprise I actually miss kimchi! When you eat out in Korea you are served about a gazillion delicious, refillable, FREE side dishes to accompany your meal and as I have mentioned in previous posts, it’s really cheap to eat out in Korea. But despite all the travelling I have done, and my fiercely independent nature, I am still not comfortable eating out alone. Plus with all the side dishes eating out it South Korea is definitely a group event.

Last weekend I stayed in Hongseong, and I was reminded how much Koreans like to stare. I nearly caused a car crash on Sunday, and I know it was not because of my stunningly beautiful features, rather I was being stared at because I was “gasp” not Korean! I had got to the stage where I no longer noticed all the slack jaw staring, but I was in a funny mood on Sunday so I was very conscious of the cars slowing down to get a closer look (no, I didn’t have anything on my face!). You are constantly reminded how insular South Korea can be when you are pointed at in the street and called a 외국인 (foreigner). Really, crap, I hadn’t bloody noticed, cheers for letting me know.

The never-ending building work next and around my apartment block continues to be, well, never-ending. Unfortunately, there’s not even a routine for me to work around, so one day I could be woken up at 7am but the next day nothing is done. But on the plus side it does give my landlord ample opportunities to scowl at me.

Well that’s enough randomness for today.

Seven Months Down, Five To Go

I realised today that my schedule hasn’t changed this month, and while that’s one of the things I wanted to happen while I was here, I did mean a schedule with a couple more classes and students. I have also discovered that I am far more productive when I have less down time. Essentially, aside from all the wonderful adventures I have had on the weekends and the fun stuff I get up to some evenings I have done bugger all with my weekdays.

I have spent a lot of the time “thinking” about what my next move should be, and the problem with having too much time is that it’s easy to get distracted. Like I predicted, Jo plus boredom plus shops equals a significantly dented bank balance, but also another stamp in the passport, so not all bad.

I am considering doing a PGCE when I get back home, but once I start researching my options I end finding other things that look appealing, like my bed. If I was a computer, my setting would be hibernation. But I am very aware that time is moving at a ridiculous speed, so I should get serious. Even though I have been doing the equivalent of one workday over an entire week November has sped by faster than an ajumma at a rice cake sale.

As my Mum would say, I am so laid back I am horizontal. It no longer annoys me that I have to find out information about my job through my students. I do miss my younger students though, so I have taken to annoying my former colleagues by popping down to the third floor and distracting grades 3 through to 5.

So I will spend a little bit longer wondering if I should become a history teacher, then I will decide that I should and then I will probably change my mind again. We’ll see. I will throw my blog open to you the readers though, if you have any questions for me ask away-it will give me something to do!

22 Hours in a Temple.

I will be the first to admit that I am as spiritual as a tea spoon, but I have visited so many temples now that it was only fitting that I should do a temple stay while I am here. Me, Rachel and Paul went to the Lotus Lantern International Meditation Centre this weekend just gone (22-23 November) and experienced a slice of Korean Buddhism. The stay was co-ordinated by two Russian monks, and the centre belongs to the Korean-Zen school of thought.

Our journey started in Hongseong, we took the train into Yongsan, the subway to Song-Jeong (line 5), a bus to Onsuri (a bleak looking town on Ganghwa-do, a small island just off the northwest coast of South Korea, and close to the border of North Korea) and finally a taxi to the Centre. There was only one building on the grounds that looked like the traditional wooden structures that dominate the majority of temples, but even upon arrival at 2pm it was clear this was a quiet and peaceful place. The three of us were the only people on the Temple Stay program, apparently in the summer groups of 30-50 people attend the centre, but we were glad that this was going to be a more personal experience.

Here’s what we did for 22 hours:

Saturday. 2pm-4pm-Arrival. We were assigned rooms, Paul eventually got a room to himself, and me and Rachel shared. The ondol (under-floor heating) was on the whole time we were there, which was handy as it was cold outside, and in true traditional Korean style we were sleeping on thin mattresses on the floor. If anything it was too hot (you know what I am like!). We were given some rather fetching grey uniforms to wear for the duration of our visit. There was also a group of Koreans on a retreat at the centre, they kept a constant supply of green tea going and quite possibly had elastic bladders.

4pm-Orientation-one of the Russian monks gave us a small tour of the main shrine and a talk about the history of the centre. To begin with he gave off a vibe as though he didn’t like the intrusions (“before it was peaceful and good, and we had no visitors”), but later he seemed more relaxed (“this and that,” “whatever”). He also showed us the etiquette for the prostrations (bowing) and chanting.

5pm-Dinner. All the food at the centre is donated, and the one rule is that you eat everything on your plate. As it was rice and vegetables, that was not really a problem!

6pm-Evening Chanting. During all three sessions I just kept up with the bowing and didn’t attempt the chanting. The temple provides a folder with all the chants written out in English, but it was hard enough bowing, head to the ground, let alone keeping with the chants.

6.30pm-8pm-Introduction to Buddhism and Meditation. The centre is fairly new, so the room we went to next had a nice big screen that came down from the ceiling, but a rubbish sound system. Surely if you are going to go for hi-tech gadgets, you go for the good ones! We watched a short advertisement on Korean Buddhism, which seemed to be largely highlighting the beauty of Korean temples, and the sojued up state of smiley, happy westerners at festivals. At least that’s the message I took away from it. Our friendly neighbourhood monk then demonstrated how to meditate. Essentially you sit very still and breathe normally. You have to clear your mind and try and count to 10-counting on the exhales only. It’s very difficult as your mind just works overtime and you don’t even realise you have spent 5 minutes singing songs in your head. This was one of my favourite parts of the weekend, despite the fact I couldn’t stop swallowing and felt like my throat was seizing up. Good times!

After 20 minutes of mediation we went back to our rooms and got ready for bed. Due to the Koreans on their retreat morning chants had been moved forward an hour, to 3am….eek! So me and Rachel had a 9pm feast of digestive biscuits and went to sleep.

Sunday, 2.40am-Woke up, definitely not my idea of a good time, but once we were up it wasn’t too bad.

3am: Pre-dawn (pre-pre-dawn!) chanting and 108 prostrations. We got to the shrine a little early to bag a spot by the heater-which me and Rachel regretted 20 bows in, as we over-heated! In between bows we removed layers, and we all managed to have a good early morning work out!

4am-4.30am: Meditation-in my case this was an exercise in not falling asleep!

6am: Breakfast in absolute silence-not that I had much to say at that time in the morning. We had quite a lot of free time in between each activity, Paul tried to get some more sleep, Rachel read, and I sort of dozed and wrote in my journal. Me and Rachel also waited for the sunrise-but the effect was spoiled by the trees.

7.30am-Walk to a shrine with the other Russian monk, the comedy monk! 10 minutes into the walk he had warmed up into his routine and was telling us that Korean style of meditation was too strict as a result of the Japanese occupation and bastardisation. He also told he had a nickname for his abbot-Nazi?! But he got most animated when he was talking about the British movies he liked to download-from James Bond to Hot Fuzz. It’s a hard life!

Between 8.30-9.30am we drank tea with the comedy monk, and he kept us entertained as he told us about Korean Buddhism.

9.30am-copying Sutra. This is was fun. We traced three versions of the same sutra-in Chinese, Korean and English. Bizarrely it didn’t feel like we has nearly been up for 7 hours already! Plus it meant we get a free personalised souvenir!

11am-Mid-day Chanting. I think that the sessions in the shrine were the only time I felt a bit uncomfortable, largely due to my lack of beliefs.

11.30am-Lunch, after which we packed up, got back into our civilian clothes and were given a lift back to Onsuri.

It was definitely an interesting and good experience (don’t think enlightening is the word!) It was very chilled out-you could never say waking up at 2.40 in the morning is relaxing though! It’s definitely something I only need to do once though and I am glad that I did it.

A Weekend in the Nineties......I mean Daejeon.

The very first weekend of November was spent in the city of Daejeon (not to be confused with Daecheon-which is a beach town in the same province, Chungcheongnam-do). Despite the fact everyone always gets off the train in Hongseong there isn’t a direct line between Hongseong and Daejeon, So on the Saturday morning we caught the train up to Cheonan and then got another train back down to Daejeon. The best thing about this was the omelette and cheese slice toast we grabbed in Cheonan. 맛있어요! Oh and the umpteenth conversation me and Rachel have had about food we miss from home!


When we arrived in Daejeon we took the subway to the World Cup Stadium to watch Daejeon Citizens vs. Daegu FC. The stadium wasn’t exactly bursting with fans but there was a pretty good atmosphere, even from all ten of the Daegu fans! Plus, tickets were only a fiver, which meant we could enjoy the match with a can of Cass and some noodles at half time. Yep, I am living on the wild side over here. We discovered that most of the players would have a good career as K-Drama actors or Olympic divers. For some of the game it felt a bit like being at a boyband concert, there was a small group of screaming school girls behind us who felt the need to yelp at the most ridiculous times. Nevertheless, it was a pretty entertaining match even with the game ending in goalless draw.

We had a nice chilled out evening once we had found a motel near the main train station. We ate out at a delicious Japanese restaurant, drank steamed milk, watched Body of Lies at the cinema and had another beer at a quiet bar. One of my pet peeves with bars in Korea is the fact you often have to purchase안주-a side dish to accompany the alcohol. If you don’t buy a side dish you can be refused service as it’s seen as the same as a cover charge. We just ordered the cheapest fruit dish on the menu-which turned out to be tinned peaches in ice. Korean drinking culture is a very sharing one, from the 안주 to the “one-shot” with the soju to the fact you can’t get a simple mixer (vodka and coke etc.) you have to spend £35 buying the whole bottle of vodka. All this is great if you are in a big group and plan on getting nice and merry, but it’s not so fun if you just want a quiet drink because that normally leaves you one option-beer.


On the Sunday we took a trip back to the nineties, 1993 to be exact, when we visited the Expo Park. Lonely Liar puts a nice glossy spin on it when it describes the “space-age pavilions” of the park, maybe they would have been space age in 1893, but even with, or perhaps because of, S Club 7 and Bon Jovi blaring out of the speakers (!) the Park felt dilapidated and unloved. You definitely got the impression it was a popular place in its hey-day (emphasis on day), as there were more toilets than you could ever want just waiting forlornly for the coach loads of people that will never come. Getting to the park and the Science Museum opposite served as a reminder that South Korea doesn’t get a lot of English speaking tourists, like in Gwangju there was no English signage for the buses and the confusing signs and maps gave the impression that buses stop in places that they don’t. Nevertheless, once I had eaten (I was very hungry that day) we managed to make it fun, and the autumn leaves gave the rusted up park some much need colour.

Update on my schedule-I am still only teaching the three one-on-ones Monday to Thursday, and as far as I am aware still getting paid the same amount. Obviously I shouldn’t complain about this too much, but in the back of my mind I know that my schedule will change again any minute. So it feels like I am constantly on edge. November has flown by so far though and I am nearly at the seven month mark. I guess I am just taking away different skills from this experience than I was expecting to.

What bloody schedule?!

When Christina dropped the encrypted bombshell a couple of weeks ago that as of November I would no longer be teaching Elementary I made a bit of a joke out it.
Step One: No classes.
Step Two: No apartment.
Step Three: A field trip to the airport with all my belongings and my passport, “we are off to see the planes.”
On Monday I was ready to skip straight from Step One to Step Three. Warning, in this entry I will ramble, and I will rant...and I will not apologise for that.

To be sure, as I have mentioned on this blog, my Elementary schedule wasn’t overly fabulous to begin with. But I was starting to make progress, even the boys in Grade Five were better behaved, and the kids in Grade Three were finally warming to me. Over half my battle had been due to the fact my schedule kept changing, and so I couldn’t get into a proper routine with the kids. Oh, and not to mention that the department hadn’t been told the students that Fely was gone. I was always suspicious of that, so imagine my “surprise” when I arrive to work on Monday to see that she’s back and taking over my classes.

Trying to get a straight answer in this Hagwon is a lot like trying to fasten your shoelaces with your hands tied behind your back. So Fely telling me she was back because the kids kept asking for her didn’t exactly calm my fears and paranoia that I was going to be fired for my teaching not being good enough or something equally bogus. “Hey Timmy, you know how much you miss Hammy the Hamster? Well, we’ve raised him from the dead just to shut you up!”

I was told to call Christina, who did nothing to soothe my fears, she just told me she would talk to me “later.” It turns out that my director is opening a new English and Maths academy on the fifth floor of the building. Over the last couple of days I have been given slightly more information. Apparently the manager of the Elementary department “has no need for a foreign teacher.” Read: she has no need for a foreign teacher who can’t speak Korean. Though unless she had a problem with the job I was doing, I don’t really see how this is an issue. I was hired as an English teacher, not to be her new best friend. Last week Grade Three made me laugh when they showed such shock and pity that I couldn’t speak Korean, bless.

I am so fed up with the whole situation right now. Yet, I know I should be enjoying this time while it lasts. I am still teaching my three one-on-ones, a task which amounts to two hours of work a day. At the moment I don’t have to work Fridays. Christina has no idea when the new academy will be open, or when I can expect a new timetable, and I will still be paid the same wage. Obviously I am not arguing with this logic, but I didn’t come to Korea to sit around in my apartment wasting the days away or blowing all my hard earned cash on crap I don’t even want.

The burning question I have had over the last couple of days is “Why the *beep* was I hired if there isn’t a job for me to do?” Seriously, is that good business practice? My schedule and workload has been so haphazard and inconsistent during my time here, that I wouldn’t be surprised if I was asked to work on reception for a couple of weeks. “여보세요, 서울 학원. 네, 네, 네.” Job done.

More than anything, I would have preferred to have seen out my teachings with the Elementary kids and then gone home to the United Kingdom thinking that I made a slight difference to some of the students. Now I won’t be able to have that because I will have to start again with a new bunch of students. Who knows how long it will be before that changes, and I have to move to the second floor of the building (which is empty) to teach parrots how to say “Welcome to Seoul Hagwon. Fred the Fly…..” oh wait….

I guess all I can do now is wait and see what this new schedule brings, and hope I don’t end up broke by the end of the week. It looks like I will have to spend more time with Christina. While it will be a nice change from the stony silence of the “Third Floor,” and I am glad she can communicate in English, I have a feeling it’s going to be a rocky relationship.

I don’t think I can be arsed with anymore of all this change though, my patience has worn so thin it would win America’s Next Top Model merely on the merits of its cheek bones. Meh……

We are sold out of Seoul/Soul jokes........

As I will explain in my next entry, I have a lot of free time on my hands so you can expect lots of updates. First though, I want to take a trip down memory lane and tell you about a trip I took a whole 2 weeks ago. On 18-19 October me and Viro met up with Rachel and Paul in Seoul. Once a month Rachel and Paul have a session in the capital city for the kindergarten, I meet them once they have finished and we explore Seoul. It’s a good way to experience the city, and slowly but surely we are seeing all the major sites, museums, and Yongsan Motels!

This weekend was no different. We went ice-skating at Lotte World, we went shopping in the malls of Dongdaemun (minus Paul who went to the cinema), we checked out some free art galleries, we explored a palace (Deoksugung) and we went to Chongdong Theatre for a traditional Korean cultural experience.

Ice-skating was good fun, and surprisingly I managed to stay upright. For any of you who have seen me on dry land you know this was no mean feat! Plus since it was the second time I have been ice-skating for around seven years, so I was chuffed! Since May, Rachel and I have promised ourselves a shopping spree in Dongdaemun, home to cheap malls and pineapple sticks. This weekend was that spree, though Viro spent the most. I should mention that despite any weight I have lost I am still considered “large” by Korean standards, which is why I am half grateful for “free size.” Some things are just ridiculously small, but the fashion at the moment seems to be baggier clothes which fit ok on me. I felt a bit violated when trying to buy a belt, but all of us were pleased with our purchases and Dongdaemun (which is the Great East Gate) looked beautiful all lit up when we made our way to the subway station.

We met back up with Paul in Yongsan and went to our new favourite motel, characterised by hard pillows and a Christmas tree in the lobby. Located on the edge of the red light district, but just a minute away from Yongsan station and 30,000 won a night, it’s become our regular motel when we visit Seoul. After a quick fashion show of our new clothes, (the motel is worth it if only for its mirrors!) we watched some Simpsons and went to sleep.

Rachel had booked us tickets for the theatre on the Sunday afternoon, so to fill time before the show we checked out the area around City Hall. I visited Deoksugung palace earlier in the year, but I still think it’s an impressive palace and it has the added bonus of the changing of the guard ceremony. It’s always nicer when you experience a place with other people too. We also went to the Seoul Museum of Art, free admission and lots of modern art. Before we headed to the show we grabbed some food at a cutlet restaurant, none of us braved the “spawn of kimchi,” though we all wanted to know what it was! 

The show, Miso (Smile), was really interesting, a combination of traditional Korean songs, dance and instruments meant to capture the various emotions that a woman experiences when she is in love. I have to say I particularly enjoyed the drumming and the fan dance, and probably didn’t fully appreciate the underlying message. Definitely recommend it though.

After that action packed weekend we grabbed the train back from Yongsan. It was packed, so we only managed to get one seat. Me and Viro found ourselves a spot on the floor of the café carriage (number 4 on both the Saemaul and Mugunghwa) and didn’t leave it until we got back to Hongseong. Definitely another weekend for the “good times” pile!

Since my next entry will be about the Hagwon, just wanted to say now, I am very pleased and relieved that Obama is going to be the next President of the United States.