Schedule Change Part 102

To be sure, if I had updated my blog every time my schedule changed I would put facebook status update addicts to shame. (XXXXX has just blown her nose. XXXXX only has 6 hours until home time. XXXXX has just updated his status. And so on.) In years to come the pronoun “I” will be obsolete and people will refer to themselves in the third person….all the time. “Jo is talking rubbish again” or “Jo watched the latest episode of Heroes and thought that as a scientist Suresh probably wouldn’t have used himself as the first human test subject.”

The latest schedule change is one I hoped would never happen, and knowing my luck it will be the one that lasts the longest. As a bit of a back story Fely left the hagwon last week. This not only means I am going to be that little bit more isolated from my Korean co-workers, but also that I am the only one teaching Grades One through to Five. Apparently, there are not enough students to maintain a full schedule for both me and Fely, and since my contract means I have to work 6 hours a day unfortunately Fely had to go. On a more positive note, San (the painfully quiet Korean English teacher) said more to me yesterday than in the last two months since he arrived. But, to be honest, nothing will compensate for losing Fely as well as for the monstrosity Grade 5 is going to become if the train wreck that occurred yesterday is anything to go by.

My new schedule is as follows:

Grade One/Two 3:00-3:45 Monday to Friday.
As I mentioned before, a hagwon is primarily a run for profit organisation rather than an educational institution. Thus it seems that Henry has been kicked out for not being smart enough and I have been given a combined class of grade one (Jenny and Joyce) and grade two (Harry and Tracy). They are being taught from different books so I am trying to get the grade two kids up to the same level as my two favourite girls. Despite the fact Tracy feels the need to call me fat every time she sees me (I should mention she’s a chubby little child herself, who feels the need to try and bite my hand when I try and give her a high five) the class is still one of my favourites. Harry tried to be the class clown by swinging on his chair, calling me Pig Teacher (seriously!) and swearing at rest of the kids but I kicked him out of the class once and he’s been fine ever since.

Grade Five 5:50-6.35 Monday, 3:50-4.35 Tuesday to Friday.
Wow, what a nightmare! Previously grade five was split into two sets, I loved teaching the top set, and I tolerated teaching the bottom set because I only had to do it twice a week. Now I am the only English teacher they have been combined into a class of eleven boys and one girl, and to be honest it’s going to either make me a stronger person or lead to me having a nervous breakdown and locking myself in the cupboard! Yesterday my top set was pretty well behaved, but Gangster Ghaphield (Ghaphield 2) egged on by Cliff was a royal pain in the arse. I have a rule, when you want to answer a question just put your hand up and I will pick you. None of that whiny “pick me, teacher” crap. Normally, the kids cotton on to the rule pretty quickly, though Jason in grade 4 still spends most lessons shouting “teacherrrrrrr WHY?” Bless. Ghaphield 2 was shouting at me in Korean, banging his book on his desk and generally causing a racket. I was pointedly ignoring him, and after about 10 minutes he was tiring himself out and starting to settle down. At that point the Elementary Manager burst in and started screaming at the kids-even I started looking sheepish. While I was grateful for the back up, her screaming gave Ghaphield 2 time to recharge his batteries and continue being the devil child. I was heartened by the fact Brady and Christian (previously troublemakers) had never worked so hard in their lives. But, the treatment the only girl (Ivy) receives is horrid and aside from kicking all the boys out (which I have been contemplating) it’s an uphill struggle.

Grade Three 4:35-5:20 Tuesday to Friday.
Grades Three and Four are currently being taught out of the same book, Fun Fun English Phonics, which was planned and written by someone who has not only never studied or taught English, but also by someone who has a very warped idea of how children learn. The premise of the book is a story about Fred the Fly and the adventures he gets up to. So for instance
In the Sand.
Fred the Fly plays in the sand with six seals.
But he is going under the sand.
“Where is the sun?” Fred says.

This is teach the kids the sound for the letter s. But most of the kids just memorise the 4 lines, and think “job done” next. Instead of teaching the kids phonics in conjunction with useful phrases, questions and words, I have three books of Fred the Fly nonsensical crap to get through. Joy.

The children in Grade Three are the epitome of Korean school children competitiveness to the point where I refuse to play games with them. The venom in their eyes if things don’t go their way is scary, and the amount of tears is ridiculous-that’s just the boys.

Grade Four. 4:35-5:20 Monday, 5:50-6.35 Tuesday to Friday.
There are some real gems in Grade Four, but the best student (Pink) and her best mate Sally both left last month-which means following the return of Joo-Joo there are now three girls and nine boys. With the introduction of scary Jo Teacher most of the kids are great-though only five of the kids do well when we have a test, so that’s something that I need to work on. It’s tough having such a mixture of levels in one class, but for the most part it is fine. Plus getting the kids to self police works surprisingly well.

After these classes I have my three one-on-ones with the Grade Six students.

Angela 6:40-7:20
Angela is the strongest of the three, and I can get the most conversation out of her. The books I teach the three one-on-ones from are probably even more rubbish than Fun Fun English. They look like someone took a bunch of Korean articles, put them through a translator word for word and made it into an “article” before writing some inane questions about said article. I tend to focus on getting the kids talking rather than reading, and get their views on what’s going on in the world around them-which is generally lots of tests.

Sonia 7:20-7:50.
Originally Sonia was one of the weakest students in the class, but one on one she has been flourishing. I think it’s just because she has grown in confidence around me rather than anything I have specifically done. Plus the way she sees it, is that if she just talks to me and asks me questions for 30 minutes she doesn’t have to do any actual work….little does she know that she is!

Brandon 8:00-8:30.
Brandon bless him just sticks to the book, and it’s hard to get much more out of him than one word answers-“fine” but I think he’s just at that age! He gets the most animated when he has to tell me he can’t come to my lesson because he has a test. It’s nice to feel wanted!

Still next week will probably bring something entirely new to contend with, so we will see.