What I Am Not Going To Miss......

As my last entry shows there are a lot of things that I will miss from Korea. But there will also be things I definitely won’t be sad to leave behind. There’s no denying that Korea has a way of getting under your skin and teaching in Korea is an easy life to lead. The job itself isn’t greatly challenging, the accommodation is free and the pay is fantastic, and by and large you can adapt to living in South Korea without major incident. Unless you have a tendency to fall over and injure yourself that is. Nonetheless, there are some things about living here that drive me a little bit crazy. From blaming a lack of understanding on “cultural differences,” to unscheduled schedule changes, to the fact rock, paper, scissors is THE ultimate decider, there can be some hiccups along the way.

Number one on my list of things I am not going to miss is Christina. If I had a Christmas card list it’s fairly safe to assume that Christina wouldn’t be on it. To be honest, with the schedule changes and constant academy glitches I can almost write that off as bad management and poor organisational skills, but with my ankle injury she has outright lied to me.

괜찮 아요? 아니 a million times over!

On 2^nd April I went back to the hospital to get a new prescription of painkillers, but this time I was taken by Soon and April two of my adult students. My doctor was the one who had barely glanced at me at the previous appointments. So imagine my surprise when he opened his mouth and spoke English to me. I know that I am the foreigner here and in order to make my own life easier I should have learnt more Korean, but surely his job would have been easier if he had spoken English to me in the first place. Since thanks to Christina and her “mistranslations” I didn’t walk on my ankle when I should have, I didn’t have any physical therapy, and I didn’t have pain medication and anti-inflammatory drugs. I have no idea why Christina “mistranslated” these things to me, and despite the fact she is potentially the best Korean at English in Hongseong I am under no inclination to have a discussion with her about it. Sure, it was a step in the right direction when I started getting the right treatment, and it turns out my googling was correct-it is a high ankle sprain, but all this could have possibly been avoided if the doctor had catered to his patient rather than his pride, and Christina had spared a second of her time to ensure her commodity (me) was healthy and mobile.

I am not going to miss the hospital. I have made eight trips to the hospital since I tripped over, and one time I left with a burn on my leg from the hot packs I was being treated with during the physical therapy. Aside from been scarred, I had the pleasure of being told my injury would recover more quickly if I lost weight, because I am “too heavy” apparently. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with Charlie neglecting to tell me not to walk on it at all after my first visit. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with my ankle being sat on by a 14 year old. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with lack of painkillers and anti-inflammatory drugs for the first month. I know I didn’t help matters with my refusal to let this injury slow me down completely, and also the fact I fell over on the train and landed on my ankle definitely didn’t do me any favours, but I reject the notion that my weight is an issue. For starters, I have lost a lot weight since I arrived in Korea, I am happy with my body image. They are called hips, I am sure they were covered somewhere in anatomy class.

As so many of my blog entries may have suggested I am not a huge fan of all the schedule changes I have had to put with. You may have picked up on this, I have tried to be subtle. To be sure, it’s a very nice feeling when the kids are visibly saddened by the news that they don’t have my class, but the amount of large minute changes that occur is astounding. Just one example, last Friday my manager told me three of my classes were cancelled and I could go home after dinner, and just as I was walking out the door one of the classes was back on. This all took place in under 15 minutes. Unlike Christina at least the current manager sometimes tries to offer an explanation. However, the whole set-up is made awkward by the fact many of the students seem to have a better grasp of English then he does. In some ways I worry that this year may have had a detrimental effect on my work ethic. Time wasted making worksheets and planning activities for classes that never take place does decrease the time I am willing to spend preparing. More crucially, I get no say in who goes in what class and when I do make a suggestion it’s more often than not ignored, leaving me with a group of students who can have a high level conversation and a couple of students who can barely answer what they had for lunch (Rice, kimchi, soup) or dinner the previous night (wait for it….rice, kimchi and soup!).

One thing I am definitely not going to miss is the religious awakenings that occur from time to time-usually early in the morning. As in being woken up by religious people who try to “enlighten” me and are seemingly not deterred by the fact I don’t speak Korean. No fear, we have an Engrishee pamphlet here somewhere. Some of you are probably wondering why I still answer my door after all the hassle I had with Mr “no-key” Landlord, but in Korea there is a tendency to keep hammering on your door until someone answers or it falls off its hinges, which ever comes first.

I am not going to miss the celebrity status that comes with being a 외국인 (foreigner) in Korea. Of course I am going to miss the perks, especially “service” and the freebies on the train when someone wants to try out their English. But I not going to miss being stared at everywhere I go. I am not going to miss the ignorance, or the assumption that I am an American or a Russian. (Being asked if you are Russian in Korea is a bit of a double edged sword-because it often means they think you are beautiful, but it also means they think you are a prostitute).

The amazement that I can handle spicy food or use chopsticks can wear a bit thin after a while. But being told that because Koreans use chopsticks they are better at doing things with their hands was a concept I found difficult to stomach. Apparently it makes them good hairdressers. I have some students that suggest otherwise. There is a bit of a Korea is number one mentality that I find really quite ugly. I am all for national pride, in moderation, but being asked if we have boiled eggs in England, seriously? “No sorry, Korea has the monopoly on hens and water.”

I am not going to miss the shuffling sound of the black and white flip-flops or “slippers” on the tarmac.

I am definitely not going to miss the spitting…..

But as I was writing this list I realised that the list of things I am going to miss is much longer, and in many ways more substantial. Don’t worry, I am not planning on caving into my students requests for me to stay out here, I am just glad to be leaving while I still like the place.

What I am Going Miss.....

I have been excited about the fact I am going home soon since January. According to my calendar it looks like the countdown started when I had 14 weeks left, and today I have less than 3. In a mere 20 days I will be boarding a plane and heading home with a bag full of memories and a head filled with mixed emotions.

I am returning to an awesome family and an incredible bunch of friends, but April is bittersweet for me because this chapter of The Adventures of Viro (Che Ji Yeon) and Jo (Jo Sun Jin) is coming to an end. Sure there will be plenty more chapters in the future, but for now there will be no more Shabu Shabu sessions, no chats until the early hours of the morning and no hobbling around the shops of Hongseong or Myeongdong. She will be heading back to South Africa 11 days before I leave, and I just want to say I am grateful for all the good times, and for all the support she has given me this year. It has been awesomeness squared.

In some ways I am going to miss Seoul Hagwon. Not necessarily the schedule changes though. One good outcome of my injured ankle was that it generated the invite to have lunch everyday in the kindergarten. It has served as a sharp reminder of me just eleven months ago fresh off the plane, dropping food all over the place, and unable to believe how cute the kids are. While the last one still applies I have just about recovered from the jetlag and for the most part I have mastered the metal chopsticks. I have learnt so much this year, and seen a good portion of Korea and much of that is thanks to Rachel and Paul. My 10 hours a day spent in the Seoul Hagwon have passed a lot quicker thanks to our lunch time chats, and I am sure there will be a kimchi related reunion when they go back to the UK in 2010.

Like I have said on numerous occasions, I am going to really miss my students, yes even the one who sat on my foot! My adult students have really grown on me (admittedly part of me resented having to give up my lovely lie-ins), and I will definitely miss the varied discussions that take place far too early for my frazzled brain. From car accidents, to alcohol blackouts, to test tube babies, they have definitely given me a small insight into Korean culture, and hopefully I have taught them a few things too. Last week they took me to Namunjae off the coast of my province and treated me to some very good food. As my next blog entry will show, they have also helped me out with my hospital appointments, and they ensure I get to the hagwon in the morning by picking me up on their way.

I am really going to miss Korean food. As well as the lunch in the kindergarten I also eat a Korean meal for dinner with the director of my hagwon, his nephew and the manager of the English academy. All of them wolf down their food before I get a chance to sit down, and the manager is under the impression that I just arrived in Korea, as he feels the need to describe the food to me before I eat it-and by describe I mean point to and say what it is, but specify that it’s Korean-“Korean fish,” “Korean soup,” “Korean mushroom” and so on. On the plus side many Koreans find the ability of “foreigners” to handle “spicy” food amazing, and are genuinely impressed if you like kimchi and can use chopsticks. I am going to miss the fact you can get restaurant food delivered for free to your door on actual plates which get collected an hour or so after-no need to wash, no need to tip. Most of all I am going to miss eating out and getting free food (thanks to Viro) or getting dessert as “service” (Canmore).

I am going to miss the train rides. I love train journeys, even the ones that lead to me getting insulted by sojued up old Korean mean. To be sure, there have been some delays (not that they show up on the boards), but the rail system here is cheap, easy and clean. If you don’t mind the stink of dried squid that is. My biggest complaint is that the last train back from Yongsan to Hongseong is at 8.20…which means a trip to Seoul tends to involve an overnight stay or an early return home. I am going to miss being on a train or subway and not understanding what it being said around me. It’s very easy to tune out the chatter around you when you don’t understand the language. Note-this doesn’t work when a 16-24 year old woman is whinging into her mobile. I am not going to miss the handheld TV’s that half the population of Korea seem to own and watch on the train, without earphones, at full volume. I am not going to miss being told to be quiet by a middle aged man because apparently “Korea is quiet,” while his wife smacks gum louder than the laws of physics allow and his kids watch the last episode of 꽃보다 남자 (Boys over Flowers). This may or may not have actually happened.

I am going to miss my crapartment, well the freedom that it represents, not so much the horrible smells that seep through the vents when anyone cooks in the building. Also, I am not going to miss the never-ending building work that has troubled my sleep since I arrived. Most importantly I am not going to miss the fear I feel when I approach my building thanks to the creep that harassed me back in January. But I am going to miss the fact it’s my own place, and I can do what I want when I want, including blaring my tunes at all hours of the day and night. I am going to miss the ondol (underfloor heating) which is a glorious idea and definitely made coming in from the snow welcoming. I am going to miss the fact everything is within hopping distance, though thanks to my ankle injury I have a new found appreciation for carpets in bathrooms, or at the very least railings.

I am going to miss Korean pop music and the fact the children remember the English lyrics better than they can remember the most simple of phrases. “I’m so sorry but I love you” (Big Bang). “Baby one more time” (Jewelry). “Nobody, nobody but you” “Tell me, tell me” (Wondergirls). “I gotta be a bad boy” (Rain). These are just some of the lyrics that plague every English classroom in Korea at some point. It can get old very quickly, but I am going through an “I’m going home soon so everything in Korea is great phrase.” I am not going to miss the Korean versions of English songs-the Korean version of Craig David’s Insomnia by Wheesung is not good.

I am going to miss checking out Korean guys…there I said it! But I am happy that I have some Rain to keep me happy in the UK.

I am kind of going to miss the obsession with mirrors. From what I have observed, if it doesn’t move it needs a mirror on it. Even mobile phones can serve as mirrors. In public bathrooms you can check yourself out as your use the toilet because more often than not there is a mirror on the stall door. I am fairly certain that the minute a girl reaches puberty in Korea a mirror is surgically attached to her hand. Based on my experiences in bathrooms at least one member of a group of secondary school age girls should have a pair of straighteners in her bag. Although, now I have a fringe of my very own, I can almost appreciate the disconcertingly high number of mirrors, almost….

As you can see I am going to miss so many aspects of my life in South Korea, but I can honestly say that one year is enough. There are so many other countries I have yet to experience, and I haven’t fallen in love with Korea, I have merely grown very fond of it. That’s not enough to sustain me for another year. I will take away some amazing memories but I ready to start my next chapter. I am ready to trade in the kimchi for some roast potatoes.

One foot in North Korea...

I should have taken advantage of my relaxed schedule before January and visited Jeju Island. I would have liked to have gone back to Seoraksan National Park. I could have avoided this whole mess if I hadn’t done the penguin dance-although I did look good doing it. I shoulda, woulda, coulda, but I didn’t/won’t be able to/can’t. Honestly though, I have no real regrets because what I have done with my time in South Korea has been incredible and exceeded my expectations. However there was one thing I had to do before I came home and that was visit the DMZ, and I managed to do that on the 28th March. For those of you who haven’t heard there was a bit of a war between the North and South of Korea way back in the 1950s, and thanks to the lack of a ratified peace treaty it has kind of never ended. The result is the most heavily fortified frontier in the world, the Demilitarised Zone (DMZ), which is two and a half miles wide and 155 miles from coast to coast, located around the 38th Parallel. That “line on a map, nothing more” I wrote about way back in August. Not going to the DMZ would have been like not trying kimchi, not doing a temple stay, not visiting four other countries while I was “in the area” and not doing the penguin dance….very un-Jo.

Not deterred by the fact Kim Jong-il was planning on flexing his isolated military muscles by launching a hotly contested missile/“communication satellite” four of us left Hongseong on the first train into Seoul. Not deterred by the fact I was on crutches and Jun had sat on my bad foot the day before the USO tour we joined two bus loads of people and made our way to the DMZ. It was worth every inflated won and I thoroughly recommend it if you are in the area.

Two members of the Hongseong posse are relatively newbies to this weird and wonderful land, and I found myself on the defensive for some of the day. To be sure, I have had plenty of days when the first flight out of here wouldn’t have been soon enough, but I came here with an open mind, and I have strived to make the best out of what have been some challenging situations. Defending South Korea made me realise just how much this place has gotten under my skin, and it made me so glad that I came here. It also reminded me that if you want to pull something apart you are always going to find a loose thread. English teachers are easy to replace out here, and once you have come to terms with the fact that working in a hagwon is essentially well-paid glorified babysitting the more fun you will have with it. Life is too short to bitch about something you can change so easily. If you can’t take the kimchi- put the chopsticks down, get your arse off the floor and try teaching somewhere else. What can I say, pain makes me cranky....

Ok, so back to the DMZ tour. The early morning train meant we got to see the sun rise over the mountains that surround Hongseong. Me and Viro came over all Korean with an impromptu photo shoot on the train, and I finally got a shot of my favourite sign (see above-yes I know it’s pronounced Shill-ye-won!). After arriving in Yongsan, and getting quizzical looks from all passer-bys, pretty certain Koreans on crutches remain indoors until they are healed, we made out way to Camp Kim where the office for the USO is located. An elderly gentleman helped us out with directions-it’s pretty amazing how far a sprinkling of Korean can get you, and after 11 months of teaching here it becomes so much easier to understand Konglish. A disappointing coffee later and we were on our way, with a tour guide who sounded like he was still slurring from the previous nights soju, but entertaining nonetheless. The barbed wire that lined the river as we got closer and closer to the DMZ served as a stark reminder of the division between the two Koreas.

Our first stop was for a briefing about the DMZ, and offered our first proper glimpse into North Korea. A yellow line on the ground signalled where we could and could not take pictures, though we did have to gently remind Killian of this fact! Apparently we were lucky in that the yellow dust from China didn’t obscure our view into the bleakness that is North Korea. The guide told us about the battle of the flagpoles. In the 1980s the South Korean government built a 328 ft flagpole, in response the North Koreans erected a 525 ft one. North Korea is the proud owner of the tallest flagpole in the world. I am sure that it was worth it. Next stop was a lunch break-bibimbap or bulgogi…at jacked up prices, but delicious all the same. Apparently my crutches served as a handy conversation piece, and an elderly American felt the need to ask me when I would be settling down and getting married, much to the chagrin of his wife and son.

During the 1970s South Korea discovered four incursion tunnels dug by North Korea in an attempt to launch surprise attacks on Seoul, our tour included a trip down the third one discovered-the “Third Tunnel of Aggression.” Discovered a mere 27 miles away from Seoul it certainly puts the alleged poisoning of the North Korean national football team into perspective. Following the 1-0 loss in Seoul last week, the North's football association said the act was part of Seoul's "moves for confrontation" with Pyongyang. Sure…and the tunnels really were coal mines. First off, we had to watch a propaganda video listing details of the confrontation between the two Koreas and making some rather bold claims about how the DMZ is essentially paradise on earth due to the lack of inhabitants. Thanks to my crutches, I wasn’t able to tackle the 300 metre long tunnel, though I did get to rest my aching leg and catch some rays in the peace and quiet.


The highlight of the tour was Panmunjeom which is home to the Joint Security Area, the only place where the North and the South actually connect. We entered Camp Bonifas (named after a U.S. Captain who was killed by North Korean soldiers during the Axe Murder Incident of 1976…over a tree) and our tour was taken over by the U.S. Army. We were given a lecture that skimmed over a few issues, but essentially outlined why this area is so significant. Then we had to sign waivers which reminded us that we were heading into a very unpredictable area, and could result in death or injury (bit late for that). We were driven to the JSA, where I was greeted by my favourite sport-stairs. The lift was out of order, but there was no way I was going to let stairs stand in my way. The Military Demarcation Line runs right through the centre of Panmunjeom, and the JSA was built smack bang on the middle of it. We were being watched by a North Korean soldier and reminded not to make any gestures towards him. It definitely made the atmosphere very tense. A feeling that was maintained until Killian tried to walk around the wrong side of a ROK (South Korean) soldier and got halted with some seriously cool taekwondo moves.



We then made our way into the Military Armistice Commission building, half of which was built on the North Korean side of the demarcation line. The picture above is of me and Viro on the North Korean with our fierce looking ROK soldier who gave Eugenia a fright after she accidentally put something on one of the tables and he leapt into action! Me and Viro were the last to leave the building, and as we made out way back down to the buses I managed to snap this picture…….



…..says it all!

We were then taken to a South Korea/US guard post, and we were afforded a closer look at Propaganda Village (a uninhabited village on the North side of the MDL, which until 2004 blared out North Korean messages-largely consisting of anti-Western propaganda). We were again reminded of the seriousness of the situation-surrounded by North Korean guard posts on three sides. As our U.S. Army tour bus made its way back to the original bus we passed the Bridge of No Return, which served as the port of exchange for POWs in 1953. It literally was the point of no return, once you crossed it into one country you couldn’t go back.


A sombre tour, but worth every won. As we made our way back into Seoul, and then onward to Hongseong if felt like we were returning from a foreign country, and in a way I guess we were. The bright lights and modernity of Seoul made the DMZ seems so much bleaker, and I can honestly say in the 11 months that I have been here I have never felt the tension between the North and South, even with this whole missile debacle. My thoughts were interrupted when I managed to fall over as we were trying to exit the train, again landing on my bad ankle. But I am glad that I managed to go, and hopefully my children won’t be able to-because all this would have stopped.