Reverse Culture Shock Two.

I meant to keep up my blog when I got back, and I would make up some fabulous excuses but to be honest I don’t have any. Coming home has been more of a shock to my system than I realised and I think that once I had recovered from the jet lag I still needed to recover from the reverse culture shock and the unnerving reality that I am now 24 and I am still very unsure about the next stage in my life. It’s not that I lack direction, it’s that I am not sure if it’s the right way.

I think that when you are away from your home country for a long period of time you tend to idealise it and compare it favourably with what you see around you, particularly in light of scattered nationalistic claims about how Korea is “number one” at something. (This mainly comes from the students, children or adults. However since I am usually the target for the crazies on public transport I did hear my fair share of stories). But when you arrive home you step through Customs at the airport and the reality of it all shatters the rose tinted glasses that made going home so exciting. Ok maybe it wasn’t that bad, but when I arrived back in Oxfordshire me and my Mum spent three hours in a hospital waiting room only to be rudely dismissed by some arrogant nurse who had never heard of a “high ankle sprain” (try using google then) and wasn’t interested in my x-rays because “we use computers now, this isn’t like E.R.” (Surprisingly I figured that out due to the lack of American accents, the fact my pain was real, oh and the fact I am not a total idiot). My ankle still isn’t 100 percent but the pain is nearly gone and I am no longer on a crutch, but I was hoping for some answers, and I was saddened by the lack of care that was shown.

Although life in Korea quickly became routine it doesn’t change the fact that it was different enough to maintain an element of excitement that I don’t get being back at home. Familiarity is not a bad thing, not by any stretch, and I don’t feel out of place at home, I just worry that all the changes that have happened to me will fall away at the wayside because of old habits and because the simple things (like having a conversation, ordering food) are no longer such a challenge. To be sure I have already been to London, Edinburgh,Glasgow, Barcelona and Brighton and made some more amazing memories (and you faithful blog reader are probably shaking your head at the computer screen and thinking that I need help, I probably do) since I have been back, and I am off to Dublin and South East Asia in the next couple of months, but that doesn’t explain the funk I have found myself trying to climb out of. By all accounts I should be bursting with excitement and anticipation of what has been and what’s to come, especially with a trip to see my favourite South African 친구 happening at some point in 2009, but the truth of it all is that being back home has made my own uncertainty about my future more noticeable. I can no longer use the “I will figure it out when I get home” excuse that allowed me to procrastinate while I was in South Korea, and I have reached a point where I want some solid direction in my life.

Maybe it’s because my money is slipping away faster than you can say “Do you want cashback?” Perhaps the fact it’s impossible to get signal on my mobile despite the fact I practically live next to a mobile phone mast/poorly disguised tree is driving me bonkers. Certainly the fact that the BNP and UKIP had successes at the European elections is leaving me disillusioned. Having my fringe butchered by a hairdresser for three times the price I paid for a hair cut in Korea didn’t leave me feeling warm and fuzzy about being home. But I think that my uncertainty and confusion is the key reason I have been in such a funk. Those age old questions that badger you during a period of change have been badgering me during this period of change. What am I doing with my life? What should I do next? When will I figure out what I want? Why is Big Brother still on? Why does the British public revel so much in destroying people through the media? Why do people insist on wearing flip-flops the minute the sun comes out?Being given simple patronising instructions from everyday machines such as ATMs (hide your PIN number…damn, that’s where I have been going wrong…) is definitely not inspiring me to greatness. Watching an entire generation communicate through facebook isn’t exactly soul cheering either, if I wanted to know the mundane details of your life I would simply ask, or I would stalk you.

I have not been taken over entirely by some self-loathing hatred for everything, honest. There are some things I love about being back, spending time my family and friends for starters. Buying books in charity shops (it’s the simple pleasures!). The weird and wonderful city that is Brighton. The sheer range of delicious foods and treats. Cider that isn’t 7UP. Having more than one room to live in. Baths. Sofas. Pub gardens. Watching the sunset over a field as a passenger in a car.

It’s likely I will do my PGCE this year, a couple of hundred miles from home. But all the hoops that I have to jump through is making my application disheartening and it’s not been made easy by the fact I applied so late in the academic year. As a career I am still not convinced that teaching is for me, some of that is because I doubt my abilities. However, a rational side of me just wants to be sure I am making the right decision before spending another year in what might ultimately be the wrong direction. You can never be entirely sure where your choices will take you. Admittedly I am getting really good at settling into new and distant places. Hopefully in a couple of months I will look back at this and wonder what I was going on about,

Reverse Culture Shock

Well, I am back in the United Kingdom, and adjusting is harder than I was expecting. The year in South Korea has changed me in ways I have yet to fully understand or realise, and I am returning to a town where the biggest change has been the colour of the Iron Bridge. Being surrounded by spoken English is giving me a headache and on my first day back the NHS actually made me long for the Korean hospital where I am considered fat and where the therapy involves being scarred for life and being subjected to naked old ladies. While it’s refreshing to see a range of clothes sizes instead of just “free size” (as in no hips, no fat free size) I am saddened by the increasingly amount of what can only be described as morbid obesity on the streets of Britain. I am all for eating good food and I will never be a size 8, but the key word is moderation, and once you have reached size 20 you have overstepped the mark by a long shot. To be sure, this was the right time for me to come home, and I can’t wait to make a start on my PGCE. At the same time, I can understand why people get addicted to the TEFL way of life, and end up re-signing or moving on to the next country.

I have come away from Korea with much more conservative taste in clothing. It’s considered unseemly in Korea to show your shoulders and chest area, though admittedly there are seemingly no qualms about showing the tops of your thighs. Prior to coming to Korea I spent most of my time in strappy tops, even in winter, but now I feel exposed if I am not covered up. It was refreshing to be able to put half my wardrobe in the charity bins, thanks to healthier eating (yes, I do miss Kimchi) and (from when I had two good ankles) lots of walking, but I am surprised at how my taste in clothing has changed. Newsflash, South Korea has turned me into an old lady prone to saying “cover yourself before you catch swine flu” and “you’ll have someone’s eyes out with those.”

The colours seem to be more vivid here, particularly all the greens, even the grey sky seems more vivid. But then again architecturally, much of modern South Korea is as dull as an evening with Ken Barlow-who is still the stud of Coronation Street apparently. I think the colours may seem more bright because England is a lot flatter than Korea, and everywhere I look there are bright gardens, something that apartment building laden Korea severely lacks. Being away has really made me appreciate just how beautiful the United Kingdom can be from the wide open green spaces, to the old intricate architecture. I definitely prefer houses to towering apartment blocks which to me can feel constricting and imposing. But I didn’t realise how much I liked being able to see mountains where ever I was in South Korea. As I have said before on this blog, I am a writing contradiction, I like flat green spaces, but I also like mountains. Perhaps this is the reason why the transition seems so difficult, I don’t know what I want from life at the moment and coming back my feelings weren’t as clear cut as I was expecting them to be.

One thing that is clear cut is the expense. The vast majority of things are more expensive here, a fact that I already knew but that doesn’t make parting with the money any easier. Shelling out £40 for a return train journey knowing that £10 would have got me a similar amount of time on a train in Korea, and on a train with more leg room and more comfortable seats as well, is not making me feel all warm and gooey inside about the UK. Admittedly I didn’t save as much as I was hoping to, but I don’t regret any of the travelling that I did while I was over there. I think a second year in the same country would enable you to save more. Nevertheless I am still of the frame of mind that there is so much more to see on this planet, and if I had spent longer in Korea the novelty would have worn off, and I would have developed itchy feet. Besides there is only so long a girl can go without roast potatoes.

What I Am Not Going To Miss......

As my last entry shows there are a lot of things that I will miss from Korea. But there will also be things I definitely won’t be sad to leave behind. There’s no denying that Korea has a way of getting under your skin and teaching in Korea is an easy life to lead. The job itself isn’t greatly challenging, the accommodation is free and the pay is fantastic, and by and large you can adapt to living in South Korea without major incident. Unless you have a tendency to fall over and injure yourself that is. Nonetheless, there are some things about living here that drive me a little bit crazy. From blaming a lack of understanding on “cultural differences,” to unscheduled schedule changes, to the fact rock, paper, scissors is THE ultimate decider, there can be some hiccups along the way.

Number one on my list of things I am not going to miss is Christina. If I had a Christmas card list it’s fairly safe to assume that Christina wouldn’t be on it. To be honest, with the schedule changes and constant academy glitches I can almost write that off as bad management and poor organisational skills, but with my ankle injury she has outright lied to me.

괜찮 아요? 아니 a million times over!

On 2^nd April I went back to the hospital to get a new prescription of painkillers, but this time I was taken by Soon and April two of my adult students. My doctor was the one who had barely glanced at me at the previous appointments. So imagine my surprise when he opened his mouth and spoke English to me. I know that I am the foreigner here and in order to make my own life easier I should have learnt more Korean, but surely his job would have been easier if he had spoken English to me in the first place. Since thanks to Christina and her “mistranslations” I didn’t walk on my ankle when I should have, I didn’t have any physical therapy, and I didn’t have pain medication and anti-inflammatory drugs. I have no idea why Christina “mistranslated” these things to me, and despite the fact she is potentially the best Korean at English in Hongseong I am under no inclination to have a discussion with her about it. Sure, it was a step in the right direction when I started getting the right treatment, and it turns out my googling was correct-it is a high ankle sprain, but all this could have possibly been avoided if the doctor had catered to his patient rather than his pride, and Christina had spared a second of her time to ensure her commodity (me) was healthy and mobile.

I am not going to miss the hospital. I have made eight trips to the hospital since I tripped over, and one time I left with a burn on my leg from the hot packs I was being treated with during the physical therapy. Aside from been scarred, I had the pleasure of being told my injury would recover more quickly if I lost weight, because I am “too heavy” apparently. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with Charlie neglecting to tell me not to walk on it at all after my first visit. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with my ankle being sat on by a 14 year old. I am sure my slow recovery time has nothing to do with lack of painkillers and anti-inflammatory drugs for the first month. I know I didn’t help matters with my refusal to let this injury slow me down completely, and also the fact I fell over on the train and landed on my ankle definitely didn’t do me any favours, but I reject the notion that my weight is an issue. For starters, I have lost a lot weight since I arrived in Korea, I am happy with my body image. They are called hips, I am sure they were covered somewhere in anatomy class.

As so many of my blog entries may have suggested I am not a huge fan of all the schedule changes I have had to put with. You may have picked up on this, I have tried to be subtle. To be sure, it’s a very nice feeling when the kids are visibly saddened by the news that they don’t have my class, but the amount of large minute changes that occur is astounding. Just one example, last Friday my manager told me three of my classes were cancelled and I could go home after dinner, and just as I was walking out the door one of the classes was back on. This all took place in under 15 minutes. Unlike Christina at least the current manager sometimes tries to offer an explanation. However, the whole set-up is made awkward by the fact many of the students seem to have a better grasp of English then he does. In some ways I worry that this year may have had a detrimental effect on my work ethic. Time wasted making worksheets and planning activities for classes that never take place does decrease the time I am willing to spend preparing. More crucially, I get no say in who goes in what class and when I do make a suggestion it’s more often than not ignored, leaving me with a group of students who can have a high level conversation and a couple of students who can barely answer what they had for lunch (Rice, kimchi, soup) or dinner the previous night (wait for it….rice, kimchi and soup!).

One thing I am definitely not going to miss is the religious awakenings that occur from time to time-usually early in the morning. As in being woken up by religious people who try to “enlighten” me and are seemingly not deterred by the fact I don’t speak Korean. No fear, we have an Engrishee pamphlet here somewhere. Some of you are probably wondering why I still answer my door after all the hassle I had with Mr “no-key” Landlord, but in Korea there is a tendency to keep hammering on your door until someone answers or it falls off its hinges, which ever comes first.

I am not going to miss the celebrity status that comes with being a 외국인 (foreigner) in Korea. Of course I am going to miss the perks, especially “service” and the freebies on the train when someone wants to try out their English. But I not going to miss being stared at everywhere I go. I am not going to miss the ignorance, or the assumption that I am an American or a Russian. (Being asked if you are Russian in Korea is a bit of a double edged sword-because it often means they think you are beautiful, but it also means they think you are a prostitute).

The amazement that I can handle spicy food or use chopsticks can wear a bit thin after a while. But being told that because Koreans use chopsticks they are better at doing things with their hands was a concept I found difficult to stomach. Apparently it makes them good hairdressers. I have some students that suggest otherwise. There is a bit of a Korea is number one mentality that I find really quite ugly. I am all for national pride, in moderation, but being asked if we have boiled eggs in England, seriously? “No sorry, Korea has the monopoly on hens and water.”

I am not going to miss the shuffling sound of the black and white flip-flops or “slippers” on the tarmac.

I am definitely not going to miss the spitting…..

But as I was writing this list I realised that the list of things I am going to miss is much longer, and in many ways more substantial. Don’t worry, I am not planning on caving into my students requests for me to stay out here, I am just glad to be leaving while I still like the place.

What I am Going Miss.....

I have been excited about the fact I am going home soon since January. According to my calendar it looks like the countdown started when I had 14 weeks left, and today I have less than 3. In a mere 20 days I will be boarding a plane and heading home with a bag full of memories and a head filled with mixed emotions.

I am returning to an awesome family and an incredible bunch of friends, but April is bittersweet for me because this chapter of The Adventures of Viro (Che Ji Yeon) and Jo (Jo Sun Jin) is coming to an end. Sure there will be plenty more chapters in the future, but for now there will be no more Shabu Shabu sessions, no chats until the early hours of the morning and no hobbling around the shops of Hongseong or Myeongdong. She will be heading back to South Africa 11 days before I leave, and I just want to say I am grateful for all the good times, and for all the support she has given me this year. It has been awesomeness squared.

In some ways I am going to miss Seoul Hagwon. Not necessarily the schedule changes though. One good outcome of my injured ankle was that it generated the invite to have lunch everyday in the kindergarten. It has served as a sharp reminder of me just eleven months ago fresh off the plane, dropping food all over the place, and unable to believe how cute the kids are. While the last one still applies I have just about recovered from the jetlag and for the most part I have mastered the metal chopsticks. I have learnt so much this year, and seen a good portion of Korea and much of that is thanks to Rachel and Paul. My 10 hours a day spent in the Seoul Hagwon have passed a lot quicker thanks to our lunch time chats, and I am sure there will be a kimchi related reunion when they go back to the UK in 2010.

Like I have said on numerous occasions, I am going to really miss my students, yes even the one who sat on my foot! My adult students have really grown on me (admittedly part of me resented having to give up my lovely lie-ins), and I will definitely miss the varied discussions that take place far too early for my frazzled brain. From car accidents, to alcohol blackouts, to test tube babies, they have definitely given me a small insight into Korean culture, and hopefully I have taught them a few things too. Last week they took me to Namunjae off the coast of my province and treated me to some very good food. As my next blog entry will show, they have also helped me out with my hospital appointments, and they ensure I get to the hagwon in the morning by picking me up on their way.

I am really going to miss Korean food. As well as the lunch in the kindergarten I also eat a Korean meal for dinner with the director of my hagwon, his nephew and the manager of the English academy. All of them wolf down their food before I get a chance to sit down, and the manager is under the impression that I just arrived in Korea, as he feels the need to describe the food to me before I eat it-and by describe I mean point to and say what it is, but specify that it’s Korean-“Korean fish,” “Korean soup,” “Korean mushroom” and so on. On the plus side many Koreans find the ability of “foreigners” to handle “spicy” food amazing, and are genuinely impressed if you like kimchi and can use chopsticks. I am going to miss the fact you can get restaurant food delivered for free to your door on actual plates which get collected an hour or so after-no need to wash, no need to tip. Most of all I am going to miss eating out and getting free food (thanks to Viro) or getting dessert as “service” (Canmore).

I am going to miss the train rides. I love train journeys, even the ones that lead to me getting insulted by sojued up old Korean mean. To be sure, there have been some delays (not that they show up on the boards), but the rail system here is cheap, easy and clean. If you don’t mind the stink of dried squid that is. My biggest complaint is that the last train back from Yongsan to Hongseong is at 8.20…which means a trip to Seoul tends to involve an overnight stay or an early return home. I am going to miss being on a train or subway and not understanding what it being said around me. It’s very easy to tune out the chatter around you when you don’t understand the language. Note-this doesn’t work when a 16-24 year old woman is whinging into her mobile. I am not going to miss the handheld TV’s that half the population of Korea seem to own and watch on the train, without earphones, at full volume. I am not going to miss being told to be quiet by a middle aged man because apparently “Korea is quiet,” while his wife smacks gum louder than the laws of physics allow and his kids watch the last episode of 꽃보다 남자 (Boys over Flowers). This may or may not have actually happened.

I am going to miss my crapartment, well the freedom that it represents, not so much the horrible smells that seep through the vents when anyone cooks in the building. Also, I am not going to miss the never-ending building work that has troubled my sleep since I arrived. Most importantly I am not going to miss the fear I feel when I approach my building thanks to the creep that harassed me back in January. But I am going to miss the fact it’s my own place, and I can do what I want when I want, including blaring my tunes at all hours of the day and night. I am going to miss the ondol (underfloor heating) which is a glorious idea and definitely made coming in from the snow welcoming. I am going to miss the fact everything is within hopping distance, though thanks to my ankle injury I have a new found appreciation for carpets in bathrooms, or at the very least railings.

I am going to miss Korean pop music and the fact the children remember the English lyrics better than they can remember the most simple of phrases. “I’m so sorry but I love you” (Big Bang). “Baby one more time” (Jewelry). “Nobody, nobody but you” “Tell me, tell me” (Wondergirls). “I gotta be a bad boy” (Rain). These are just some of the lyrics that plague every English classroom in Korea at some point. It can get old very quickly, but I am going through an “I’m going home soon so everything in Korea is great phrase.” I am not going to miss the Korean versions of English songs-the Korean version of Craig David’s Insomnia by Wheesung is not good.

I am going to miss checking out Korean guys…there I said it! But I am happy that I have some Rain to keep me happy in the UK.

I am kind of going to miss the obsession with mirrors. From what I have observed, if it doesn’t move it needs a mirror on it. Even mobile phones can serve as mirrors. In public bathrooms you can check yourself out as your use the toilet because more often than not there is a mirror on the stall door. I am fairly certain that the minute a girl reaches puberty in Korea a mirror is surgically attached to her hand. Based on my experiences in bathrooms at least one member of a group of secondary school age girls should have a pair of straighteners in her bag. Although, now I have a fringe of my very own, I can almost appreciate the disconcertingly high number of mirrors, almost….

As you can see I am going to miss so many aspects of my life in South Korea, but I can honestly say that one year is enough. There are so many other countries I have yet to experience, and I haven’t fallen in love with Korea, I have merely grown very fond of it. That’s not enough to sustain me for another year. I will take away some amazing memories but I ready to start my next chapter. I am ready to trade in the kimchi for some roast potatoes.

One foot in North Korea...

I should have taken advantage of my relaxed schedule before January and visited Jeju Island. I would have liked to have gone back to Seoraksan National Park. I could have avoided this whole mess if I hadn’t done the penguin dance-although I did look good doing it. I shoulda, woulda, coulda, but I didn’t/won’t be able to/can’t. Honestly though, I have no real regrets because what I have done with my time in South Korea has been incredible and exceeded my expectations. However there was one thing I had to do before I came home and that was visit the DMZ, and I managed to do that on the 28th March. For those of you who haven’t heard there was a bit of a war between the North and South of Korea way back in the 1950s, and thanks to the lack of a ratified peace treaty it has kind of never ended. The result is the most heavily fortified frontier in the world, the Demilitarised Zone (DMZ), which is two and a half miles wide and 155 miles from coast to coast, located around the 38th Parallel. That “line on a map, nothing more” I wrote about way back in August. Not going to the DMZ would have been like not trying kimchi, not doing a temple stay, not visiting four other countries while I was “in the area” and not doing the penguin dance….very un-Jo.

Not deterred by the fact Kim Jong-il was planning on flexing his isolated military muscles by launching a hotly contested missile/“communication satellite” four of us left Hongseong on the first train into Seoul. Not deterred by the fact I was on crutches and Jun had sat on my bad foot the day before the USO tour we joined two bus loads of people and made our way to the DMZ. It was worth every inflated won and I thoroughly recommend it if you are in the area.

Two members of the Hongseong posse are relatively newbies to this weird and wonderful land, and I found myself on the defensive for some of the day. To be sure, I have had plenty of days when the first flight out of here wouldn’t have been soon enough, but I came here with an open mind, and I have strived to make the best out of what have been some challenging situations. Defending South Korea made me realise just how much this place has gotten under my skin, and it made me so glad that I came here. It also reminded me that if you want to pull something apart you are always going to find a loose thread. English teachers are easy to replace out here, and once you have come to terms with the fact that working in a hagwon is essentially well-paid glorified babysitting the more fun you will have with it. Life is too short to bitch about something you can change so easily. If you can’t take the kimchi- put the chopsticks down, get your arse off the floor and try teaching somewhere else. What can I say, pain makes me cranky....

Ok, so back to the DMZ tour. The early morning train meant we got to see the sun rise over the mountains that surround Hongseong. Me and Viro came over all Korean with an impromptu photo shoot on the train, and I finally got a shot of my favourite sign (see above-yes I know it’s pronounced Shill-ye-won!). After arriving in Yongsan, and getting quizzical looks from all passer-bys, pretty certain Koreans on crutches remain indoors until they are healed, we made out way to Camp Kim where the office for the USO is located. An elderly gentleman helped us out with directions-it’s pretty amazing how far a sprinkling of Korean can get you, and after 11 months of teaching here it becomes so much easier to understand Konglish. A disappointing coffee later and we were on our way, with a tour guide who sounded like he was still slurring from the previous nights soju, but entertaining nonetheless. The barbed wire that lined the river as we got closer and closer to the DMZ served as a stark reminder of the division between the two Koreas.

Our first stop was for a briefing about the DMZ, and offered our first proper glimpse into North Korea. A yellow line on the ground signalled where we could and could not take pictures, though we did have to gently remind Killian of this fact! Apparently we were lucky in that the yellow dust from China didn’t obscure our view into the bleakness that is North Korea. The guide told us about the battle of the flagpoles. In the 1980s the South Korean government built a 328 ft flagpole, in response the North Koreans erected a 525 ft one. North Korea is the proud owner of the tallest flagpole in the world. I am sure that it was worth it. Next stop was a lunch break-bibimbap or bulgogi…at jacked up prices, but delicious all the same. Apparently my crutches served as a handy conversation piece, and an elderly American felt the need to ask me when I would be settling down and getting married, much to the chagrin of his wife and son.

During the 1970s South Korea discovered four incursion tunnels dug by North Korea in an attempt to launch surprise attacks on Seoul, our tour included a trip down the third one discovered-the “Third Tunnel of Aggression.” Discovered a mere 27 miles away from Seoul it certainly puts the alleged poisoning of the North Korean national football team into perspective. Following the 1-0 loss in Seoul last week, the North's football association said the act was part of Seoul's "moves for confrontation" with Pyongyang. Sure…and the tunnels really were coal mines. First off, we had to watch a propaganda video listing details of the confrontation between the two Koreas and making some rather bold claims about how the DMZ is essentially paradise on earth due to the lack of inhabitants. Thanks to my crutches, I wasn’t able to tackle the 300 metre long tunnel, though I did get to rest my aching leg and catch some rays in the peace and quiet.


The highlight of the tour was Panmunjeom which is home to the Joint Security Area, the only place where the North and the South actually connect. We entered Camp Bonifas (named after a U.S. Captain who was killed by North Korean soldiers during the Axe Murder Incident of 1976…over a tree) and our tour was taken over by the U.S. Army. We were given a lecture that skimmed over a few issues, but essentially outlined why this area is so significant. Then we had to sign waivers which reminded us that we were heading into a very unpredictable area, and could result in death or injury (bit late for that). We were driven to the JSA, where I was greeted by my favourite sport-stairs. The lift was out of order, but there was no way I was going to let stairs stand in my way. The Military Demarcation Line runs right through the centre of Panmunjeom, and the JSA was built smack bang on the middle of it. We were being watched by a North Korean soldier and reminded not to make any gestures towards him. It definitely made the atmosphere very tense. A feeling that was maintained until Killian tried to walk around the wrong side of a ROK (South Korean) soldier and got halted with some seriously cool taekwondo moves.



We then made our way into the Military Armistice Commission building, half of which was built on the North Korean side of the demarcation line. The picture above is of me and Viro on the North Korean with our fierce looking ROK soldier who gave Eugenia a fright after she accidentally put something on one of the tables and he leapt into action! Me and Viro were the last to leave the building, and as we made out way back down to the buses I managed to snap this picture…….



…..says it all!

We were then taken to a South Korea/US guard post, and we were afforded a closer look at Propaganda Village (a uninhabited village on the North side of the MDL, which until 2004 blared out North Korean messages-largely consisting of anti-Western propaganda). We were again reminded of the seriousness of the situation-surrounded by North Korean guard posts on three sides. As our U.S. Army tour bus made its way back to the original bus we passed the Bridge of No Return, which served as the port of exchange for POWs in 1953. It literally was the point of no return, once you crossed it into one country you couldn’t go back.


A sombre tour, but worth every won. As we made our way back into Seoul, and then onward to Hongseong if felt like we were returning from a foreign country, and in a way I guess we were. The bright lights and modernity of Seoul made the DMZ seems so much bleaker, and I can honestly say in the 11 months that I have been here I have never felt the tension between the North and South, even with this whole missile debacle. My thoughts were interrupted when I managed to fall over as we were trying to exit the train, again landing on my bad ankle. But I am glad that I managed to go, and hopefully my children won’t be able to-because all this would have stopped.

I am Turning Into Dr. House...

…it’s not just the leg, it’s the language too. Don’t worry, I haven’t “like” picked up the American accent. It’s just that last week I said zee instead of zed for Z and I didn’t even need to think about it. I know that makes me a walking (ok not so much) contradiction (see my blog entry from 18 July 2008), but in my defence I do have a lot on my mind at the moment.

I went back to the hospital on Tuesday 24 March and my lovely green cast was cut off. Instead I was put in an ankle support bandage and told by Christina to flex and massage the foot and not to walk on it for another three weeks. I paid for an appointment with an orthopaedic surgeon who didn’t even make eye contact with me, let alone look at my foot once it was out of the cast. I assumed that the doctor who took the cast off would have done something if there was cause for alarm. But the cynical part of me thinks they just wanted me out of the hospital as fast I could hobble. As you can see in the lovely picture below, my leg muscles have wasted away, and my right leg has taken on the characteristics of an anorexic twiglet.


To make matters worse, on Friday, one of my students, 14 year old Jun, “accidentally” sat on my foot. The fact that my Manager doesn’t speak or understand English was highlighted by his lack of alarm at a shaking, pale Jo saying “he sat on my foot.” Smiling and nodding was not the response I had been hoping to elicit. This incident, combined with me falling over on the train on Saturday, saw a return visit to the hospital on Sunday. This time I went without a Korean translator, with the hope that I would be able to speak to a doctor and get some direct answers. So instead I went with Viro, who’s been an awesome crutch throughout this whole nightmare. After the doctor finished panicking about the fact he had to use English with me, I was given painkillers (or “energisers” as he referred to them), my second shot in the arse and I was told that I should be starting to walk on my ankle again using only one crutch as support. I am now at a loss as to how five days and extra trauma to the ankle can lead to such a contradictory diagnosis, and as a result this weekend saw my first proper meltdown since this whole thing started.

I asked the doctor to explain what was actually wrong with my ankle and he told me it’s an ankle sprain. My research on google (desperate times and all that) based on the treatment they’ve given me, and my interpretation of the x-ray, points to a high ankle sprain, which hopefully explains why it’s still so painful nearly 5 weeks after the event. The doctor added that if the pain persists I will need an MRI, a machine that Hongseong apparently doesn’t have, but to be honest I just want to wait until I come home, which is only in 29 days now. I asked for and got a copy of the original x-ray, and I will be going back to the hospital for more painkillers...but I am just confused as to the best course of action.

This whole situation has not put too much of a damper on the end of my time in South Korea, although it’s definitely screwed up my plans, and made the most simple of tasks a lot of more difficult. Hopefully the second doctor was right, and I know that walking on my bad ankle should build up the muscles and strength my leg again, I just don’t want to do anymore damage… I guess only time will tell.

11 Months of...Culture Shock!

Even though it’s been nearly eleven months since I stepped off the plane at Incheon International Airport, South Korea still has ways of leaving me very bewildered. Strangely, the bigger things I have just come to accept, from last second schedule changes, to the lack of helpful health and safety signage. Those annoying “no-win, no fee” companies would have a field day in Korea. “This week I ended on my arse in the lobby of Seoul Hagwon after my crutches did the splits on the wet floor. There was no warning sign in sight. Save your Kimchi managed to get me 1000won (50p) in compensation. I bought gimbap.” No, it’s the smaller things that still puzzle me. From serving Tabasco sauce and pickles at every slightly “western style” restaurant, to suggesting I go to the hospital every time I have a cold. I asked one of my adult students about the latter and she explained that one time her mother “endured a cold and it turned into pneumonia.” By “endure” it’s possible she meant her mother never rested and continued to both work 12 hour days and be the sole carer for the family. She also said that the Korean health system is very cheap. I countered that it’s free in the UK and if you went to the doctors with a cold (Korea doesn’t have an equivalent to your local GP/doctor) you would be laughed out by the receptionist and possibly fined for wasting valuable daytime TV watching hours.

More importantly, what is the doctor going to give you for a cold that you can’t buy in a pharmacy? A stern and condescending look? A prescription of kimchi and soju three times daily? Or is Korea harbouring a secret cure for the common cold that it’s refusing to tell the rest of the world about? Judging by the amount of colds I have seen “endured” in this country it’s unlikely. Perhaps if the country wasn’t so anal about sick days and the fact they require a doctors note/all your limbs being severed/death, it would be less of a problem because you could take a couple of days to rest and recuperate. The same would be true if covering your mouth with your hand when you sneeze or cough became a common part of etiquette.

Last week was a first for my time here in Korea. I had a schedule change with an explanation. Thankfully because of my leg I was already sitting down. Ok, I said I had come to accept them, but I meant in a "admit they are going to happen kind of way!" Not that "I have to like them!" Apparently my lessons were too short and the parents had complained, strangely though it was just my lessons that were too short, so the change in schedule only saw my lessons being made longer. I noticed on Thursday that with the first class of the day the kids can’t get from their school/piano hagwon/maths academy in time so they are around 10-15 minutes late for their first class, which is with Yu (the manager). However, instead of moving the start time later, the time has just been added on to my class. I am sure that there is some very flawed logic there. Though why the parents just can't be told that the English monkey is unable to perform to the best of her ability at the moment, and quite frankly doesn't care that you want an extra ten minutes without your children, is beyond me. I am home in just over a month, so my reservoir of enthusiasm and energy has run dry. There's only so much a girl can do with her leg propped up on a chair, only able to use 10 percent of the board, and without books or resources before she gets very frustrated with it all!

My cast.

On Wednesday 4 March I went back to the hospital to get an update on my foot, this time I went with Christina. I was so certain that I would walk out the hospital that I had a shoe in my bag. Instead I was put in plaster cast, given back the crutches and sternly told not to walk on it at all. I am not entirely sure what the problem is, though from the talk of Park Ji Sung between my doctor and Christina I surmised that it's a common injury among football players. The fact that an operation was mentioned (really don't want it to come to that obviously) means that I am taking the "no walking on it" instructions very very seriously. I have to go back on the 24 March to get it checked up again, so fingers crossed that it's not as bad as my over active imagination is trying to tell me it is.

Life on crutches has shown me a whole new side to Korea. From almost being bowled over by an inconsiderate old lady in the hospital reception, to being stared at more than usual. If I thought that being a foreigner in Korea was an insight into being a celebrity, being a foreigner on crutches is like being the Brangelina of celebrities. But the most frustrating part of daily life has been the distinct lack of disabled access to most of the buildings in Hongseong. Lifts here have a handy function-if the kids decided to press all the buttons "as a joke" you can press them again to prevent the lift from stopping. This fact is only handy when you are in a building with lifts.

I haven't been given a repeat prescription for pain medication, which has been a nightmare at times. It's hard enough trying to get the kids to take you seriously when you are sat with your leg in the air encased in a bright green plaster cast, let alone when you are pale and unable to concentrate because of the pain. As we know my method for coping with pain is swearing, and I am fairly certain that the parents won't thank me if all I teach their kids in the next couple of weeks is expletives! But since Christina has apparently "retired" from teaching again, Charlie has been sacked with no warning and the new guy's vocabulary is limited to ancient song lyrics I haven't had much luck expressing how I feel about all this.

In many ways life continues as normal, my schedule has changed three times this week, Seok Jae still "doesn't like me" and Hannah is still crying because her younger sister knows more answers than her. I am glad that I did so much sightseeing before all this happened, and even if I limped home tomorrow I would limp back knowing I have seen a lot more than I ever expected I would. It's still hard not to be despondent at missing out on some of my plans. I am just glad that Viro filled my last weekend with Shabu Shabu, delicious pasta, and plenty of conversation, even on the “bastard stairs.”

I have 45 measly days until I am on the plane back to the United Kingdom, so since I now have a lot of free time on my hands I thought I would share some more about what I will miss from Korea….

…..my kids.....

They have all been so helpful about my leg (fetching me coffee, mocking me and stealing my crutches) so I let them run riot with a marker pen and some tipex and this was the result.

"You're genius" Eric (aka Aron, Angela’s slightly crazy brother) who am I to argue!

"Please Stay Korea" This from Yun Seob, the boy who started my classes hating everything “just” because.

"Teacher Jo is good for health" Steven-maybe he meant the health care system! Though he’s so keen he tries to sneak into extra classes. He also idolises King.

"T. Jo Babo" Sally, babo means stupid/foolish in Korean.....Hey my leg is plaster cast because I tripped over myself…so she might be on to something.

”T. Jo Fighting” Amelia (aka Lita), it’s used by Koreans as a term of encouragement rather than as a challenge!

"I love you" Numerous students (all together now awwwwwwww!!!!)

“T. Jo Bye Bye” Sonia, one of my favourite students, her family is moving to Seosan soon. She asked me yesterday if I would cry when I go home. I think that’s a given now, these kids have been so great.

“빨리나” Basically walk again quickly!

They definitely made the days go quicker, which is no mean feat since I am spending close to 11 hours at the hagwon everyday due to the lack of transport, and the fact I live in a building with no lift.

Crutches in Korea.

This weekend I was supposed to go to Gyeongju with Adventure Korea for one last trip with the tour company. However, yesterday I fell over and damaged a ligament near my ankle. I am currently on crutches. Considering how clumsy I am it was bound to happen eventually. The bonus of it happening here is that I get an amusing story to go with it, and I got to see that the kids are as attached to me as I am to them.

I met up with Viro after my adult class in the morning and we went to our new favourite café-Canmore-home to freebies galore and some interesting décor. As we were leaving I was joking around on the stairs (penguin dance), when we got to the bottom I stepped awkwardly and went over on my ankle. I sat there panting on the floor for a while as Viro looked on helplessly-partly due to me screaming “Don’t touch me!” before continuing to pant. An impatient Korean woman walked past and gave us such a dirty look, despite the fact it was obvious that I was in pain. Viro took me to the nearest doctor who happened to be a paediatrician. She got to experience sweary in-pain Jo. The doctor told me I should get to a hospital, have an x-ray-and probably see a doctor for grown-ups. I didn't have my insurance card on me and I was pretty certain that I had just sprained it so I got a taxi home and packed a bag for the trip. But when I saw my ankle, it was very, very swollen, and tried to walk to my hagwon, I realised that it wasn't alright.

I asked Charlie (the Korean English teacher) if he could take me to the hospital, and we took a taxi there. Bizarrely in a country where the taxis beep you every five seconds it was weird how they all seemed to vanish when we needed one. The receptionists panicked when they saw me, but thankfully poor Charlie could translate. The doctors x-rayed it and found out my ligament is damaged. I am not entirely sure how, but looking at the x-ray my bone is being pushed out of place by the swelling. So now it's in a splint, bandaged up and I am on crutches. The hospital seems to still be under construction because I was placed in a room full of odds and sods, and everyone who walked past came to nose at the crazy foreigner, and her hilarious attempts to use crutches. A shot in the arse later, and I am on my slow way. We grabbed a taxi back to the hagwon, eventually-the sight of Charlie in the middle of an intersection sighing and yelling “taxi” and “진짜!” will hopefully never leave my memory bank!

We got back to the hagwon and I had to teach all day as well as cover Christina’s lessons for the second day in a row. This is despite the fact I was clearly a bit woozy from the pain medication, oh and unable to stand up! I didn’t mind the teaching so much as the fact I had another day of combined level classes, which I had to control from a chair. Christina took my prescription sheet and said that she would be back before I finished, of course she wasn't and so I have no medication even now! She rung me today to say she couldn't move (she couldn't move?!) and she will hopefully be round before midnight with my medication.

I am gutted that I couldn't go on the trip, as I won’t get another chance to go to Gyeongju and I have already written off plans to go to Jeju Island. Thankfully Killian has gone in my place and he will give me the money which is very handy as medical care isn’t free in Korea.

The kids were so concerned when they first saw me on crutches, even the older kids, it was so cute! Andy looked like he was about to cry and when I asked what was wrong he just pointed at my leg. I had to improvise, more than normal, as I was sat down the whole day. Normally I am so active in my classes, so it was a real challenge. Still I got a few giggles with “What’s in Teacher Jo’s bag?” “Oh a shoe!” In one class we needed to erase little white boards and I hadn't been able to buy tissue, so I just cut up the sock I had no use for! But my favourite moment was when the more advanced students tried to figure out the English name for “crutches” we had everything from fake legs to imitation legs (these kids know their words!) thrown about.

I have to go back to the hospital on Wednesday and hopefully by then the swelling will have gone done and I will be crutch free for the rest of my time here.

Randomness times 25.

I have stolen this idea from Facebook. It inspired me with a story I have been working on so I figured that I would do one about me too. It’s a list of 25 random things about all me. Indulge me and feel free to ask me questions about it.

1. I’ll be there for you…

I am so lucky that I have so many people that I can consider true friends, and I hope that I am the same to each them. I sincerely believe that friends are the family that you choose. Each and every friend I have has shaped and influenced me in a way I can’t begin to explain. From my taste in music, books, movies and rice infusion Pringles, to my self esteem (Jersey Street chats), to my eating habits and awesomeness, to my love for just meeting up for a chat, every friend that I have made so far has helped me grow and change in so many ways and I am so thankful to each of them.

2. For Reasons Unknown…

I have never had a relationship with a guy….ever. I am not having man drought, I am the bloody desert during the hottest part of the day. At the risk of sounding like a bad chick flick I just haven’t met the right person yet. To be sure, there are moments when I think “Bridget Jones step aside because I wouldn’t settle for either of those losers.” But continuing with the cliché theme, I know that I will meet someone eventually. Besides, I am not planning on becoming someone’s other half, I am happy being a whole. I will never be one of those girls who cries into her vodka and coke because she hates being single, because she is normally the first girl to dump all her friends the minute “the perfect guy” comes along. I hope I never feel the need to put a guy on a pedestal either. I find it sickening when someone describes their partner like they’re the best thing that ever graced the earth. No one is that bloody special.

3. Soul...

I am an atheist who gets pissed off when someone tells me they will pray for my soul and my sins. If someone wants to include me in their prayers of course I have no problem with this, it doesn’t hurt me in any way, but if someone tells me they will pray for my soul or for my sins I find this offensive. With one person in particular I always felt they were trying to insult me while taking the so-called “moral high ground.” I don’t ridicule your beliefs, don’t please feel the need to “pity” me.

4. Oops I did it again...

I was at the train station in Suwon a couple of weekends ago meeting some friends and I was thinking about my clumsiness as I sipped a coffee, and just as I was thinking about it I dropped the coffee all over the floor. You have never seen so many people stop what they were doing to see what was going on. There would have been some severely cricked necks the speed at which some of the heads turned. But as I sidled away, face redder than the Valentines hearts that adorn ever static object in Korea, I couldn’t help but marvel at my own clumsiness. I mean, give me a stretch of nothingness and I can trip over it!

5. Disease…

My name is Jo and I have a problem with alcohol. No, I am not a raging alcoholic, but in the past I drank too much and made some very foolish mistakes. Since I arrived in Korea, I can count the number of times I have had alcohol on my fingers. This isn’t going to turn into a confessional, suffice to say I hope that I have learnt from my mistakes, at last, and in the future I won’t get myself into anymore “stupid situations that don’t happen when sober.” But I am just surprised it took me so long to recognise that I have a problem.

6. I Am Who I Am….

… “and you can’t change me.” I don’t wear high heels, I don’t wear make up all the time, and I am very opinionated. None of that is going to change any time soon, and why should it?

7. You’re so fake, I bet you think this song is about you...

To me being fake is one of the worst personality traits you can possess. It’s so unnecessary and in many instances disrespectful, there’s just no need for it. To be sure, in the wise words of House “everybody lies” and I am no exception, but I am referring to people who are so over the top and insincere that they would be right at home on ANTM. Telling me that I look lovely when clearly I have just rolled out of bed, splashed water on my face and pulled on the least creased clothes will not score you brownie points. Finding everything from plain rice to eyeshadow “amazing” and “wonderful” will not endear you to anyone. Just be honest, and don’t act like you are trying out to be a porn star every time something new happens.

8. Mr Writer...

I love writing and the freedom it gives me, but while I crave for praise for my work, I am also wary of letting others see it. Like many people I can be my own worst critic, which is why this has already taken me over a week to get this far. I have been writing stories since I was teenager, and was embarrassed when my Mum told my English teacher, partly because I didn’t want to be told I wasn’t any good. I get inspiration for ideas at the most random times, and it usually has something to do with walking. One of the best compliments I have had was when someone told me I should be a travel writer, so thank you to that person.

9. Compliments...

This relates to point 7. I am not good at complimenting people, unless it’s coming direct from my heart. If someone is fishing for compliments-either by complimenting me first or putting themselves down I am no longer going to take the bait. Of course I will cheer someone up if they need it, but I am not one of those gushing girls who will validate the fact someone is feeling sorry for themselves. If you want unconditional love, buy a dog.

10. No Regrets…

Ok maybe one. I really wanted a First. I know that there is nobody to blame but myself. Don’t get me wrong, I learnt more from university than any book can teach me, but I put a lot of work into that degree and I came away with the same grade as seventy-five (yes I am making this figure up) percent of my fellow students, including the ones who thought the library was just another building on campus. I am very proud of my grade, but deep down I think I will always regret that I didn’t rock my final exams.

11. Talk…

I can talk, I can babble, I can ramble on until you have to tell me to shut up, but sometimes I am awkward, nervous and quiet. I love it when you know someone so well you don’t need to talk in their company, but the same time I am only truly open when I know I can trust someone.

12. I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing…

I have forgotten so many details about my life, but I can recall the embarrassing moments with a clarity that would shame the HD Department at Samsung. This year I tried to keep a journal of my time here so I can remind myself that I was once this courageous and independent, and that I ate kimchi everyday, but as is so often the case when things become routine I stopped writing in it. If I forget someone’s name I am usually too self-conscious to ask them again. So much so that in my first term at university I had conversations with a girl and never knew her name.

13. Patience…

This year has dramatically increased my patience. Don’t get me wrong, I will never have the patience of a saint, but I have seen a great improvement in my ability to cope with stressful situations, and also to tackle a rather large language barrier. I will still occasionally be the one in the queue tapping my foot impatiently and rolling my eyes, but I am less likely to blow a fuse in under 60 seconds.

14. Keep the Right Profile…

Facebook….with all the evilness and addictiveness, and did I mention the evilness? I don’t even know what I do on it anymore, but I just know I spend far too much time on it. Sometimes I want to go on a rampage and cull half my friend list-“friends” from secondary school who have added me but not bothered to make contact or “friends” who are friends of friends. In some respects Facebook is good for me, because at times I am better at communicating through the written word rather than the spoken. However, will all its crappy applications and settings it’s just become another chore rather than a network for people to keep in touch.

15. The Alphabet Song…

I like the alphabet, some people use chronological order, but for me it’s the alphabet. My CDs and DVDs are organised alphabetically, I am really good at filing, and I have to fight an uncontrollable urge to re-arrange people’s media collections. I am a stickler for maintaining CDs and DVDs and I cringe when I see people leaving them lying around without a case.

16. She Moves in Her Own Way…

I can’t dance, I have the rhythm of a three legged giraffe. I can’t sing, I am more tone deaf a litter of cats in a sack. Furthermore, my train of thought is a lot like the Korean rail system-there are three speeds, three levels of comfort, and sometimes there are unexplained delays. Still at least it’s not like British Rail-otherwise I would never get anything done!

17. Don’t Get Me Wrong…

This is closely linked to point 2. I have a tendency to put up a barrier when guys try to chat me up. I come across as uninterested and arrogant, a “can’t touch this” look, which is not what I intend to portray. I am working on it. Give me just a little more time.

18. Girl on The Wing…

I was in the Air Cadets and I made it to the rank of Sergeant. I really enjoyed the activities that I got up to-from flying a plane (and panicking a lot when it moved slightly under my touch) to assault courses (with some funny “accidents” from being kicked in the face and splitting my lip, to falling and landing on the rocky bank of the river rather than in the river itself). I would have progressed further but I was unwilling to brown nose. But I made some great memories. I decided long ago that the military life was not the life for me, but I had a lot of fun pretending.

19. Second Hand Stores…

When it comes to shopping I work better alone. That’s not to say I don’t really enjoy going shopping with someone else, in fact sometimes I prefer it. But, I buy more things when I am on my own. I love browsing second hand book stores as they combine two of my favourite things-“cheap” “books.” I am an impulse buyer, but I don’t follow the latest fashions or trends.

20. Caring is Creepy.

I worry too much. If a loved one or close friend goes on a trip (car journey, holiday etc) I get paranoid that something terrible will happen to them, but I get paranoid as though thinking about it will stop a bad thing from happening. Yes, I know that it’s irrational and illogical, but I can’t switch it off.

21. Seaside…

I feel at home at the seaside and I can stare for hours off into the horizon. I can watch the waves and the path of the sun without ever feeling bored. I can even put up with the evilest sea gulls Brighton has to offer-unless they try and steal my chips!

22. In The Morning…

…My hair is a mess, (more so now I have a fringe), my brain definitely isn’t in gear, and if I haven’t slept well I am very grouchy. I tend to perk up very quickly though and once I am awake I can’t get back to sleep. I think that this year has screwed up my internal body clock because I used to be so much more productive in the mornings and now my brain is on overtime until 2am.

23. Listen…

I hope that I am a good listener, and if someone has a problem I will give them my undivided attention. However, if someone comes to me for advice and consistently ignores it I only have so much patience. I am constantly amazed by the rudeness and ignorance of some people, and this year has been a real eye-opener. “Hate to say I told you so…..”

24. I Miss You…..

…Yes you dear reader, I miss you. In an age where it’s easier to keep in touch than ever before emails gets neglected, responses get put on the backburner, and you realise you haven’t spoken to someone for 6 months. It’s a two way street though….so get in touch! I find it hard to email people when I don’t get any response, but I honestly try to reply when I do get an email.

25. Tell Me Ten Words….

Ok, I am turning it over to you, tell me something random you like/don’t like about me.

Viro and Jo Do Thailand.

One of the things I like about leaving South Korea to explore another Asian country is the feeling of familiarity and ease I experience when I come back. The latest time round that wasn’t the case. Partly because I spent the first 24 hours back in Korea vomiting and feeling very crap, and partly because I was aware of the unpredictability and annoyances I am going to face in my next three months. Mainly because of the vomiting though.

I went back to Bangkok for Lunar New Year-or Chinese New Year as it’s more commonly referred to-and this time I had a travel buddy in the form of the lovely Queen V. It was the last perfect “out of Korea” adventure to have before I make my trip to Incheon airport on 28th April 2009 and start my next adventure. And I am grateful I had such a good friend to share it with.

24 January.
Our journey began and ended in an icy, snow covered Hongseong, with a brief and fabulous interlude in hot and sunny Bangkok. Once we arrived at the airport we sorted out Viro’s re-entry visa-and took it nice and easy. Although I think it’s fair to say we were both day-dreaming away to the end of April when we would be back at Incheon with a lot more luggage. Our flight was with Korean Air whose questionable motto is “Excellence in Flight.” I should hope that this is the case for the pilots but as an airline I would give it a “Could Do Better in Flight” motto. For starters the in-flight entertainment did not include mini TVs for each passenger but a big screen per section which was barely visible if you were sat over 5 ft away from it. Normally I don’t find this an issue, but it’s a five and a half hour flight to Bangkok, and apparently I, like most people, don’t have the ability to sleep in an uncomfortable space when the flight attendants are making pointless announcements every 5 minutes. “Ladies and Gentlemen, for your information the sound system works and we will now make this announcement in two more languages. Thank you for flying with Korean Air.”

We arrived in Bangkok at 9pm and I was struck by how familiar everything was. It was as though I had an internal GPS for the city, it was slightly unnerving in a step aside Lonely Liar you have been usurped kind of way. We made our way to Khaosan Road and on to our guest house. Roof View Place was about 10 minutes from the atmosphere of KS Road but clean and friendly with comfy beds and an ensuite bathroom. There was annoyingly loud lovers tiff in the room next door at around 3am-which Viro quietened by banging on the wall, but apart from that it was a great place to rest our weary feet after a couple of long days of shopping!

25 January.
Aware that we only had a little bit of time in Thailand we got an early start and took a tuk-tuk to the weekend market. A ride in a tuk-tuk means that doing your hair in the morning is pointless and ensures that your face is caked in pollution faster than you can say “no stops.” But it’s definitely part of the Bangkok “experience” and since there was only two of us in the tuk-tuk I spent less time with my arse hanging out clinging on for dear life. The weekend market was as sprawling and overwhelming as I remember but I was quickly introduced to Viro’s inner shopper. We were more productive before midday than we have ever been in Korea.

We ate at Oh My Cod, the British café I frequented on my last visit-after 9 months of Korean food point me in the direction of a Cornish pasty, mushy peas and chips and I am happy. I am cheap date! After our fill of food and the BBC we asked a tuk-tuk driver to take us to a jewellery shop, but we quickly discovered that jewellery is cheaper in South Africa. Instead we did some sightseeing taking the tuk-tuk to the Golden Mount, and then we took a walk back to KS road for some more shopping. By this point we were developing a tag system of haggling-the best tactic being “It was …..Baht at the other stall.” After a cheap manicure we made the mistake of following the Lonely Planet in the quest for food, we ending up in a restaurant with three times more waiters than customers and dim lighting in an attempt to cover up an inability to complete orders. After my trips to Taiwan and Japan it was just nice to have company while I ate.

That evening we had a Thai massage. I think the last time I got one, with Sarah, we were being punished for the racket me made when we got the oil massage the previous night because this one was a lot less painful. It was still funny though, and I think the only way to go for a massage is to have someone you know in the cubicle next door. After explaining that we were teaching in Korea Viro was told”잠깐 만요” which means wait a minute. It was a nice feeling being in a different country and being spoken to in Korean and understanding what was being said. Well it was for me anyway!

26 January.
We had a later start to this day, and following a full English breakfast (I am all for experiencing other cultures foods!) we got ourselves trapped with the most annoying tuk-tuk driver in Bangkok. Imagine the most annoying person you know and then imagine them driving you around in a vehicle made from scraps, and refusing to accept payment because they want free petrol coupons, and then imagine an hour with them. We just wanted to go to the shopping malls of Siam Square, but we ended up on a motorway switching tuk-tuks and being asked “one stop?” We had already been to two, so a sharp “No” saw us taken to a shopping mall, and then being ripped off for a journey that should have only taken 15 minutes. Word to the wise, just take one journey for the experience and then take taxis ok!

MBK was an awesome shopping mall, with tons of shops and handicraft stalls. Oh, and air conditioning which is always nice. We stayed there for about three hours and we definitely got more than our money’s worth. We then explored the shops of Siam Square as we made our way to Erawan Shrine to see some traditional Thai dancing. After the tuk-tuk ride that blighted our morning we took a taxi to the Suan Lum Night Bazaar for some more shopping. One reason why I probably couldn’t teach in Thailand-all my money would go straight after I got paid. I was more than happy to watch Viro work her magic, occasionally nagging her to buy more for herself.

For dinner, we had some more Thai Food near KS Road, and decided that Thai Food isn’t anything to write home about, though maybe there is space for it on the blog. It’s not the best cuisine in the world, but it’s probably not the worst either. The best thing about sitting outdoors, aside from inhaling all kinds of fumes from the traffic, was that it allowed us to people watch and by people I mean lady-boys! Bangkok attracts all kinds of travellers, from the young to the old, and from the backpackers to the retired couples. And all of them wear the same clothes, brought off the streets of Bangkok.

After we ate we made our way to a different massage place on the same street as our guest house and we each had an oil massage. Since I spent my last oil massage giggling like an 8 year old who has just discovered that you can write “80085” on a calculator I was interested to see if this would be any different. It wasn’t and the calculator wasn’t wrong either. Me and Viro were once again in neighbouring cubicles and the curtains were strategically placed so we could chat and make sure the other was still awake. Viro’s masseuse mistook sighs of contentment for sighs of pain and switched to “soft-soft” mode, while mine gave my chest area “special treatment.” It wasn’t until afterwards we realised that Viro didn’t get the same attention, and she wasn’t best pleased.

27 January.

The previous night we planned our last day in Bangkok. When we woke up we made an executive decision to just take a taxi to the airport. This gave us more time to begin the sightseeing portion of our trip in earnest. We went to the Grand Palace and took loads of pictures, the buildings were as intricate and beautiful as I remembered. This time round I got to see the Emerald Buddha too, all dressed up in his winter outfit and in an incredibly stunning hall, with elaborate paintings on the wall. Then we took a walk to the Temple of the Reclining Buddha, Wat Pho. On the way numerous tuk-tuk drivers tried to dissuade us telling us it was closed. If this happens to you just ignore it, 9 times out of 10 they are lying because they want to take you for a ride both literally and figuratively. I have four words to describe the Reclining Buddha-very big and shiny. Suffice to say he’s very laid back. Groan.

In a bid to incorporate all the famous types of transport in Bangkok we took a river ferry to the Central Pier. The excessive number of people was explained by the fact it was so cheap. Only love could explain why a middle aged woman on crutches was on the ferry. We made our way to the Sri Mariamman Temple, a Hindu temple built by Tamil immigrants in the 1860s. As the Lonely Planet says “Thai Buddhism still honours its mother religion of Hinduism.” We then had the best meal of the holiday in a restaurant down the street, mutton Biryani. Though in reality it just a precursor for when I visit Viro in South Africa. We took a taxi back to KS road for some more, very chilled out shopping and then made out way to the airport with a lot more than we started with and with some great memories too. The less said about the 28th January the better.

Cheers for the awesomeness Viro! It was more legendary than I was expecting!

You Guessed It-Schedule Woes.

Well Christina has excelled herself this time, no doubt about that. My next entry was going to be about the fabulous time I had with Viro in Thailand, but I need to get this out my system first so bear with me. I looked back through my blog the other day and I know most of my time here has been blighted by schedule changes. But honestly I am surprised Christina bothers to put anything to paper, since before the ink has dried it is being changed to suit her. At least that’s the conclusion I am drawing, having not been told anything to the contrary.

Aside from the split in my day between the adult class and the children classes I was enjoying the lessons and I like most of my students. In all truthfulness I think this is the best bunch of kids I have taught so far, and aside from the fact I have to drag myself out of bed to teach them in the morning I like the adult students too. Only one class is a chore, and that’s because the girls in it are so quiet you can hear a pin drop from Japan. But, as has been the case here too many times, just when I get into a routine the carpet is pulled out from under me and I am left lying on a bed of useless lessons plans and straddling a gap wider than the space between Christina’s ears.

Although I know hagwon schedules are dependent on demand, pushy mothers and the Korean public school calendar, I don’t know anyone who has had to undergo the same number of adjustments and last minutes frustrations as I have faced here. I think that it would be a lot easier to deal with if I was given some kind of explanation now and again, never mind a warning. Even with a schedule Christina teaches her classes to her own time zone, which essentially involves running over my into my class time and expecting me to combine two different levels and age groups into one class. I gave up politely reminding her what the time was and used the time “researching” on the BBC website and messaging on facebook. Despite the fact she is the manager she literally comes in to teach her classes and then disappears faster than you can say-“Would it be possible to have a staff meeting so we can discuss the students and the schedule?”

Although it’s been chopped and changed today’s schedule is pretty indicative of what occurred in January. (This is largely just for my own memories so feel free to skip it!)

10-11 Adult Class. This early morning (for me) class consists of three ladies in their early to late thirties, plus one intermittent guest who shows up when the others blackmail her. They all have a fantastic grasp of the English language although one only talks using idioms and random phrases. This is where my poor teaching skills are apparent. For the most part I understand what they are saying and trying to convey which make it’s difficult for me to correct them. But through this class I am given a small insight into some Korean customs, including those surrounding Lunar New Year. Worryingly one of students is absent at least once a week because she gets so drunk the previous night “she has a blackout” and can’t remember what she had did. After this class I head back home until around 1.40 when I head back into the hagwon for the classes with the children.


2.20-3.10 Beginners. See the picture above. Five of the cutest kids in Hongseong (sure I am biased. I still haven’t met Henry!). Jenny (the blur-she is camera shy), Jullea (“Hello, Miss Jo”), Cindy, and the twins Alice and Diane. I am supposed to spend 50 minutes teaching them what’s on a random collection of flashcards-which would be as much fun as pulling teeth with a blunt tooth pick. Instead I am teaching them how to ask and answer simple questions. Can you….? Are you…..? Do you……? And so on. Despite the fact she knows all the answers left, right and centre Jenny is very patient and understands that she should let the others answer too-she’s the youngest in the class and she’s my little star.

3.10-4.00. Basic Speaking. Ann, Lita (yes really and no explanations that her name sounds like a measurement of liquid will persuade her otherwise) and Sarah (the opposite of Jenny and as such my least favourite child). This is the most frustrating class, mainly because Lita makes everything an uphill struggle. She is one of the family of five siblings, the rest of which are a joy to teach…but hopefully she will grow out of it.



4.00-4.50. Intermediate One. Andy, Jinny and Sally. See above. I have not been consulted about any of my students and their abilities, if I had been I would have suggested Andy is too weak for this class. A factor not helped by the fact Jinny (or Rachel as she was called at New Briton) can be a little bully. Looking at my new schedule it looks like this has been taken into consideration which should mean less tears of frustration from the poor chap. Sally is the reason I love teaching because she has such a thirst for English and a real desire to learn.

4.50-5.40. Intermediate Two. Yun Seob, Sonia, and May. Yun Seob is the first student I have had who doesn’t want an English name, which is perfectly fair enough. A bigger concern came when it appeared that he didn’t like anything….at all.
Me: Yun Seob, do you like music?
YS: No.
Me: Really? Why?
YS: Just.
But after a couple of weeks he warmed to me and I can even coax coherent sentences out of him. Sonia and May work well together, (see below) and make every lesson a good laugh. This is the one class where there is not even the pretence of a book yet with these kids 50 minutes flies by.


7.10-7.40. Intermediate Three. Branden, Tom, Jun and Angela. It annoys me that the time with my best class is so short-sometimes Christina overruns so much I only get 10 minutes with them-other times I have to combine their class with the Middle School one. They have the best English ability, and since Angela was put in this class-after 2 quiet weeks in the Middle School one- everyday has been an eye-opener. I am just working on their sentence formation at the moment, but they are a very bright bunch-although Branden is imitating my sarcasm-which can only be a bad thing!

7.40-8.30. Middle School-Park Gun, Seok Jae, Jae. My main job with these boys is getting them to talk-they all know lots of English words, but when it comes to expressing themselves they are a lot weaker. They also think they can cheat when we play “Hot Seat” by talking in Korean. Awww bless.

But as of tomorrow this all change, and the only reason I know this is because I happened to spot an altered timetable over Charlie’s shoulder. During my break between lessons I sit in the main room planning the lessons for the next day. This is made apparent by the books around me (it’s not like I am trying to learn English from them) and the fact that when the kids crowd around me and ask me what I am doing I respond “Jo Teacher is planning lessons for tomorrow.” It would have taken less than ten seconds for Christina to say “tomorrow, new schedule” but that would have been too easy. It appears that I will no longer be teaching either the beginner class or the middle school one. But crucially my first class (after the adult one) won’t start until 4.50-so if I hadn’t noticed the new schedule I would have gone in at 1.40 for no good reason. I think the reason Christina didn’t tell me anything is because I will be finishing at 9.20-which is something I have been fighting since the first draft of the schedule 2000 drafts ago.

The truth of the matter is 3 months ago I would have been more pissed off than a kimchi farmer after a bad harvest but now I am just blah. Aside from the impending knackeredness my biggest gripe about finishing so late is it means I won’t see anyone on a school night. I don’t get the pleasure of a lie in and I give it two days before the schedule is changed again due to the warm, wet, westerly winds. Writing this blog entry I realise I will be very sad to say goodbye to all the kids, and of course I am glad I will have the kids to say goodbye to. But looking at my calendar I am just relieved that there are only 12 more weeks until I am one that plane home.